NFL Power Rankings ~ Week 8

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Previous Rankings

Preseason

Week 3

Week 8 Powah Rankin's

The Juggernaut

1. Green Bay Packers - Hard to argue right now. Still waiting to see that adversity though. I'll be impressed if and when it comes and goes.

The Buffalo Bills 4-peaters

2. Pittsburgh Steelers - That's what happens when you give a good team playing at home no chance all week long.

3. Buffalo Bills - Extremely impressed by their resume. Even their loss to the Bengals doesn't seem so bad now.

4. New Orleans Saints - I kneaux, I kneaux. It doesn't make sense, but I refuse to believe this team is as bad as they sheauxed.

5. New York Giants - Can't believe nobody's talking about the team playing in the nation's biggest city in the NFL's premier division.

6. Baltimore Ravens - They're gonna be 'that' team. Could see them stomping Pittsburgh for a second time, and then losing to Cleveland to miss the playoffs.

The Hova - Rateds

7. New England Patriots - Can you imagine the number of Super Bowls they'd have if Bill Belichick still believed in defense?

8. San Francisco 49ers - Seven games doesn't erase seven years of memories of Alex Smith.

9. Detroit Lions - Annoying frontrunners. So full of themselves that they'll fold if they're not clicking on all cylinders. I see a lack of grit. Want things handed to them.

My Sleeper

10. Houston Texans - Have a chance to rack up wins in a cake division in a conference without an elite team. Sounds dangerous to me. Stayed afloat with Andre Johnson out.

The Derek Fucking Foreals?

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Haven't played up to par but there's something about this team. I think Josh Freeman wins a Super Bowl in his career.

12. Kansas City Chiefs - Actually have a worse point differential (-42) on the season than the 1-6 Arizona Cardinals (-40).

13. Cincinnati Bengals - Placed a $12.50 bet on them to win the AFC North. Pays out $1,000 for the win. No, I'm not shitting you. You can literally go on BetUS.com and make the same bet right now (this is legal right?).

The Old n' Borings

14. New York Jets - CAN'T WAIT till somebody shuts Rex Ryan up for good.

15. Atlanta Falcons - There's nobody I root harder against for no apparent reason than Matt Ryan.

16. San Diego Chargers - No team receives more unjust due than the Chargers. Everybody just face it - they aren't good.

The NFC Queefs

17. Dallas Cowboys - Can't figure out how they're not good. They should be good right? Yea, they will be good. Lets go ahead and put them in the playoffs.

18. Philadelphia Eagles - Remind me of the 2004 Kansas City Chiefs. Horrible start, capable of blowing teams out, but never really had "it."

19. Washington Redskins - Won't forgive them for benching my boy, G-Rex.

The Please Don't Make Me Watch Em's

20. Chicago Bears - They're doing the smart thing by not paying Matt Forte. Because...

21. Tennessee Titans - You might never see an NFL team pay a running back again after this Chris Johnson (CJ2.8) display.

The Must See TV Team of Whom I Haven't Even Seen Yet

22. Carolina Panthers - CAAAAMMMMMM!!! Still hasn't received the necessary credit for single-handedly dominating College Football last year. Thank you pointless NCAA allegations!

Good and Evil

23. Oakland Raiders - Carson Palmer is going to flop HARD. Remember when he sucked for the last five years? Yea, me too.

24. Denver Broncos - Who'll be the first person to personalize a Tebow '666' jersey? Hey now. You stay classy, Dirkness.

The Mighty Fiesties

25. Jacksonville Jaguars - Good defense. How bout that?

26. Minnesota Vikings - Christian Ponder eh? Whatever...

27. Miami Dolphins - I literally believe there are five worse teams than the 0-7 Dolphins.

Six to Threes

28. Cleveland Browns - No team's record will be more inflated with unimpressive wins than Nick Wright's Cleveland Browns.

49er Fodder

29. Seattle Seahawks - Where 67,000 > 53.

30. St. Louis Rams - What would you give up for Sam Bradford? A first rounder? Could be the funnest NFL discussion of the offseason.

31. Arizona Cardinals - Hey Larry Fitz, are you enjoy the Kevin Kolb era?

The Cheaters

32. Indianapolis Colts - I'll hate them as much as I can hate a team if they get Andrew Luck. I wonder if they're still pumping in fake crowd noise when they're trying to lose?

His Dirkness

NFL Power Rankings

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Parody is such a beautiful thing. The NFL is the only professional league that seeks out parody in every way possible. The Draft, the schedule, the revenue sharing, and the future implementation of the salary floor (not until 2013 I think) are all designed to give the 32 teams an equal opportunity to compete. And it's the main reason why the NFL is so successful. Every fan can believe that it is their team's year before the season begins. Three weeks in there are only three undefeated teams in the NFL, and two of them were completely off the radar last season (Bills, Lions). That means that all of the teams considered elite going into the season have atleast one loss, except for the defending Super Bowl Champs. And that's where we begin with the Week 3 power rankings.

(Laugh at my Preseason NFL Power Rankings: here)

NFL Power Rankings ~ Week 3

Ye Faithfuls
1. Green Bay Packers - Nice start, but what I want to see is how they handle adversity this season.
2. New Orleans Saints - My predicted Super Bowl winner is in good shape. There is no better QB in the NFL at playing from behind than Drew Brees.
3. Baltimore Ravens - Emphatic blowout this week showed me that their loss to Tennessee was a fluke.
4. Dallas Cowboys - A blocked punt away from being 3-0. This is starting to feel like Tony Romo's year to me.
5. New England Patriots - Brady has already surpassed his interception total of last season. I'm not sure if Belichick still believes in playing defense.

New Kids on the Block
6. Fuckin' Spunky Buffalo Bills - Impressed by their defense keeping them in the game against NE. Super impressed by Chan Gailey kneeling on the ball to kick a field goal with no time left.
7. Oakland Raiders - Their defensive line is better than the Lions' defensive line. I'm ready to call Darren McFadden the second best running back in the NFL.

8. Detroit Lions - Still cannot run the ball, the team finished with 20 yards on 19 attempts last game.

9. New York Jets - Could be a dangerous 10-6 team going into the Playoffs. Familiar eh?
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I really want Josh Freeman to be called "Freebs." Or Fozzy Bearman.

The Letdowns
11. Houston Texans - Should be higher, but I feel like we're all waiting for their midseason collapse.
12. San Diego Chargers - I haven't seen the more determined team I expected to when I predicted them to make the Super Bowl.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers - Something doesn't feel right with this team. Reeks of a disappointing season.
14. Philadelphia Eagles - The comparisons to the Miami Heat are remarkable, right down to the poor start to the season and the whiny ass star of the team.
15. Atlanta Falcons - Should be 0-3 if Vick doesn't get hurt. This team was vastly overrated last season.

Middle of the Pack
16. New York Giants - Have 8-8 written all over them. I thought they might be pissed after seeing that DeSean Jackson punt return 87,000 times this offseason.
17. Washington Redskins - Ryan Kerrigan appears to be the real deal on what could be a rough defense.
18. Chicago Bears - Their punt return play was seriously awesome. Watch it here.
19. Tennessee Titans - Matt Hasselbeck has been my biggest surprise of the season. Chris Johnson is no longer a top 20 running back.

Showing some Spunk
20. Cleveland Browns - Could be the worst Playoff team ever if they win the games they should.
21. Carolina Panthers - Cam Newton never got enough credit for his dominating run at Auburn last year because of the number of pointless scandal stories.
22. Cincinnati Bengals - I have no idea how, but this team doesn't appear to be an easy victory. Could shock the Bills next week.

This Really is an NFL Division
23. St. Louis Rams - Have looked sooooo bad, and I still make them the favorites in the division at 0-3.
24. San Francisco 49ers - Please don't make me watch them this year.
25. Arizona Cardinals - Quarterbacks are never good after they leave Andy Reid's side.
26. Seattle Seahawks - Should be lower, but they fit the cut of this category's jib. Winning in Seattle still isn't easy.

Andrew Luck Sweepstakes
27. Denver Broncos - Crisis averted, I whiffed on my NFL surprise pick.
28. Minnesota Vikings - Made the top 5 for the first half of my preparations for this post. Then the second half happened.
29. Kansas City Chiefs - For better or worse, showed signs of returning to last year's form.
30. Indianapolis Colts - Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis will only try that hard for their primetime games.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars - Might be the worst team, but they are less likely to tank games at the end of the season.
32. Miami Dolphins - The frontrunners. Cheer hard for them.

His Dirkness

2011 NFL Preview

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To make it easy for all my Crodies out there, I'm going to link up all of my 2011 NFL Preview articles onto this one nice, neat post. Link-um's!

2011 NFL Predictions

NFL Power Rankings - Preseason

Who will be the NFL's Surprise Team?

Top Ten NFL Team Over/Under Bets

Ranking the NFL's 32 Quarterbacks

NFL's Top 25 Players

Yahoo Pick Em League - Winner gets an official His Dirkness t-shirt!!!
Group Name: His Dirk-nicians
Group ID #65684
Password: chiefs

And for the hell of it...

2011 College Football Predictions


Happy NFoLiday,
HisDirkness.com

2011 NFL Power Rankings - Preseason

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No introduction necessary, lets just rank em boyeeeeee...

The Paul Thomas Anderson 3-named Fav's:
1. New Orleans Saints
2. Green Bay Packers
3. New England Patriots
4. San Diego Chargers

The Annuals:
5. Pittsburgh Steelers
6. Baltimore Ravens
7. Philadelphia Eagles

The Pretenders:
8. New York Jets
9. Atlanta Falcons

The X(-Ray) Factor:
10. Indianapolis Colts

The Little Lebowski Urban (under)Achievers:
11. Houston Texans
12. Dallas Cowboys

The Overpicked Surprise Team:
13. Detroit Lions

The Potential Surprises:
14. Cleveland Browns
15. Minnesota Vikings
16. Buffalo Bills

The One Year Kevin Arnold Wonder Years:
17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
18. Kansas City Chiefs

The Jackie O'Nassis Has Beens:
19. New York Giants
20. Chicago Bears

The Quin Snyder D-League:

21. St Louis Rams

22. Arizona Cardinals

23. San Francisco 49ers

24. Seattle Seahawks

The Potential Harry Houdini Spit On Her Back Surprise Team:

25. Denver Broncos

The Bob Loblaws:

26. Oakland Raiders

27. Tennessee Titans

The White Flaggers:

28. Jacksonville Jaguars

The Spergon Wynn Division:

29. Washington Redskins

30. Miami Dolphins

31. Carolina Panthers

The Andrew Luck Frontrunners:
32. Cincinnati Bengals

NFL Parity and Power Rankings

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It's the return (the turn, turn). The return (turn, turn). It's the return. It's. The. Return. You're welcome OutKast fans. Thankfully, the aspect that the NFL strives to promote so greatly has returned to the league for the 2010 season: Parity.

After watching the Patriots and Colts dominate the AFC for the last ten years, and lasting through the undefeated stints of the Saints (13-0) and Colts (14-0) in 2009, the 2010 NFL season is void of any true favorite (Yes, the Patriots, Colts, and Saints are still around, but not in the same dominating ways of the past). This is when the NFL thrives. It's a league that depends on the names on the front of the jersey. And it's a league that's designed to give every team a chance at the Super Bowl. We remember the 1999 Rams as fondly as the 49ers/Cowboys/Patriots dynasties.

Despite promoting parity, there has been a certain disparity in the league the last ten years. It seems nobody was ready to handle the salary cap upon its inception in the mid 90's. Teams didn't understand how to build around the cap, which ensured that great teams didn't last more than a handful of years. Then the Patriots and Colts figured things out, got star QB's, and broke the NFL mold by contending for championships every year. Since then, teams have slowly caught up (although, still not all the way), and their franchise QB's have grown older. Suddenly new quarterbacks are mentioned in the same breath (Brees, Rivers, Rodgers, Thigpen - still nobody mentions Ben Roth Biglisberger).

This will inevitably lead to an exciting finish to the season with all the close division races, and a playoffs that's wide open to all 12 teams (well, 11, minus the NFC West winner). So when all you young'in's are ordering rounds of shots this weekend, make sure you toast to parity, the most underrated aspect in all of sports, and the difference between a good NFL season and a great NFL season (there are no bad NFL seasons, although 2009 was as close as it gets).

Previous NFL Power Rankings:

• Week 3
• Week 7

Week 13 NFL Power Rankings:

1. Atlanta Falcons
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. New Orleans Saints
4. New York Jets
5. New England Patriots
6. Philadelphia Eagles
7. Green Bay Packers
8. Baltimore Ravens
9. San Diego Chargers
10. Chicago Bears
11. New York Giants
12. Kansas City Chiefs
13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
14. Indianapolis Colts
15. Miami Dolphins
16. Jacksonville Jaguars
17. Cleveland Browns
18. Oakland Raiders
19. Washington Redskins
20. St. Louis Rams
21. Houston Texans
22. Buffalo Bills
23. Tennessee Titans
24. Minnesota Vikings
25. Seattle Seabags
26. Detroit Lions
27. Dallas Cowboys
28. San Francisco 49ers
29. Denver Broncos
30. Arizona Cardinals
31. Cincinnati Bengals
32. Carolina Panthas

Power Ranking Statistical Analysis:

Biggest Risers (compared to my Week 7 Rankings):
1. San Diego Chargers +14
2. Cleveland Browns +12
2. Oakland Raiders +12
4. Jacksonville Jaguars +11
5. Buffalo Bills +10
5. Chicago Bears +10

Biggest Fallers:
1. Tennessee Titans -14
2. Cincinnati Bengals -12
3. Minnesota Vikings -10
4. Seattle Seahawks -8
5. Indianapolis Colts -7

Most Overrated Teams (compared against ESPN's Power Rankings):
1. Baltimore Ravens -4
2. Tennessee Titans -4
3. Houston Texans -4

Most Underrated Teams:
1. Cleveland Browns +7
2. Detroit Lions +5
2. Buffalo Bills +5

H'dirkness

Quick NFL Picks ~ Week 7 (and Week 6)

I know, I know, I let down all my biggest followers last week by not posting my picks for the games. But you shoun't worry, because the picks were made, was just too phogged over from Nebraska's loss to Texas to even approach a computer that night. And, amazingly enough, I went 14-0 on those picks. No, seriously. Damnit, I'm lying.

I wanna start by reminding everybody to check out my Power Rankings posted this week, because well, it deserves to be read.

A few thoughts on the Chiefs game before we get to the picks. I think Todd Haley should calm down the aggressiveness tomorrow and take points when they present themselves. I was all in favor of it in tough matchups on the road, but you need to be flexible in your strategy based on the opponent, and the Chiefs are superior to the Jaguars. There's little need for over-aggression. With Todd Bouman most likely at the helm for the Jaguars, it could be goodnight sweetheart if the Chiefs get a lead at all. The Jags will come out and run, run, run in effort to hide Bouman's shortcomings and to shorten the game as much as possible. It's been effective for them in the past. This won't be a walkover, but it is a game our Chieves should win.

PreDirktion: Chiefs 24-13

Week 1 record: 9-7
Week 2 record: 12-4
Week 3 record: 11-5
Week 4 record: 10-4
Week 5 record: 5-9 (Ouch!)

Week 6 Picks:
Bears over Seahawks-L
Ravens over Patriots-L
Giants over Lions-W
Falcons over Eagles-L
Steelers over Browns-W
Packers over Dolphins-L
Chargers over Rams-L
Saints over Bucs-W
Chiefs over Texans-L
49ers over Raiders-W
Jets over Broncos-W
Vikings over Cowboyz-W
Colts over Redskins-W
Titans over Jaguars-W

Week 6 Record: 8-6

Overall Record: 55-35 (ick....)

Week 7 picks.........

NEW ORLEANS over Cleveland-L
KANSAS CITY over Jacksonville-W
Washington over CHICAGO-W
MIAMI over Pittsburgh-L
ATLANTA over Cincinnati-W
TAMPA BAY over St. Louis-W
BALTIMORE over Buffalo-W
San Francisco over CAROLINA-L
TENNESSEE over Philadelphia-W
SEATTLE over Arizona-W
DENVER over Oakland-L
New England over SAN DIEGO-W
Minnesota over GREEN BAY-L
DALLAS over New York Giants-L

Thy Sheeveness

2010 NFL Power Rankings (Plus Pass Interference Thoughts)

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Ever since the Indianapolis Colts complained endlessly after playing like girls and getting curbstomped by the New England Patriots in the 2003 AFC Championship game, the pass interference rule in the NFL has gotten out of hand. It had a major part in deciding three (count 'em 3!) games this past weekend.

Chiefs~Texans


Cowboys~Vikings


Broncos~Jets
(insert video here)

All the talk surrounding the hard legal hits from this past weekend has kept NFL fans in the dark about a much bigger problem that needs to be discussed. This would've been the perfect week to talk about it. Damn you James Harrison (you should probably retire) and Brandon Meriweather (dude probably brings his helmet to gang fights).

I'll let you slide Dunta Robinson (sorry Smiley)....


Ay Chihuahua that's a big hit! The Pass Interference did pick up some steam from a few familiar voices on Twitter this weekend. Let's check them....

Jason Whitlock: Pass interefernce is the biggest plague in football. It's worse than the BCS.

ESPN's Sports Guy: Here's what I don't get: why don't bad teams just throw deep every down + try to get long pass interfererences? Seems like they'd hit 20%.

A spot foul is just too big of a penalty for what can be, and oftentimes is, extremely minor contact. Too often teams are throwing jump balls down field, with a receiver and cornerback handfighting each other evenly, only to see the defender get flagged resulting in a 50 yard gain. It's too much. Like Sports Guy suggests, teams are designing plays in hopes of drawing the penalty. As a league, this isn't what you want. Penalties are designed to intervene when one side unfairly gains an advantage, but should remain the backstory to the actual play on the field. Having teams purposely try to draw flags penalties/fouls is against the spirit of the game. It's terrible. It's one step closer to the NBA.

You have two options when deciding how to fix the rule.

Option 1: Take a page from the college rule book, and make all Pass Interference penalties 15 yards and an automatic first down. Any infractions shy of 15 yards, should be marked at the spot. Way less complaining in the college game than in NFL you might notice.

Option 2: Instigate a minor and a major infraction. Make the major call a spot foul. Make the minor call a 10 yard penalty. Anything short of 10 yards wouldn't need a minor/major designation and would be a spot foul plus automatic first down. An automatic first down would accompany both major and minor calls as well.

I prefer Option #2 personally. I think it would be the fairest way to enforce the penalty. However, I would be very pleased with option #1 as well, in order to keep things easier, and leave less rule intrepretation for the officials, who have a hard enough job already, and take enough blame from fans and media for their team's losses.

On to the rankings....

NFL Power Rankings: Week 6 Edition

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. New York Jets
4. Atlanta Falcons
5. New England Patriots
6. New Orleans Saints
7. Indianapolis Colts
8. Philadelphia Eagles
9. Tennessee Titans
10. New York Giants
11. Miami Dolphins
12. Kansas City Chiefs
13. Green Bay Packers
14. Minnesota Vikings
15. Houston Texans
16. Washington Redskins
17. Seattle Seahawks
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
19. Cincinnati Bengals
20. Chicago Bears
21. Dallas Cowboys
22. St. Louis Rams
23. San Diego Chargers
24. Denver Broncos
25. Arizona Cardinals
26. Detroit Lions
27. Jacksonville Jaguars
28. San Francisco 49ers
29. Cleveland Browns
30. Oakland Raiders
31. Carolina Panthas
32. Biffalo Buffs


{Geek Alert}Statistical Analysis: Comparing these rankings to my previous rankings(after Week 3) and to the Evil Empire's rankings.....

Biggest Risers: 

1. New York Jets +13

2. Baltimore Ravens +10

3. New York Giants +8

3. Kansas City Chiefs +8

5. St. Louis Rams +7

Biggest Fallers

1. Green Bay Packers -11

1. Houston Texans -11

1. San Francisco 49ers -11

4. San Diego Chargers -10

5. Cincinnati Bengals -9

Most Overrated Teams (compared to ESPN's Power Rankings)

1. Chicago Bears -8

2. Arizona Cardinals -7

3. Houston Texans -6

Most Underrated Teams (get this....same formula)

1. Seattle Seahawks +6

2. Miami Dolphins +5

3. Dallas Cowboys +5

Thy Dirty Shirkness

NFL Power Rankings: Week 3

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I intend to lay down some NFL power rankings every three weeks or so, because doing so each week would be redundant. With little else to say, lets just get to the rankings. I would appreciate any healthy debate in the comments of this post about where you think I'm mistaken. Giddy up....

Dirkness Power Rankings:

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Green Bay Packers
3. New Orleans Saints
4. Houston Texans
5. Miami Dolphins
6. Indianapolis Colts
7. Atlanta Falcons
8. Tennessee Titans
9. New England Patriots
10. Cincinnati Bengals
11. Philadelphia Eagles
12. Baltimore Ravens
13. San Diego Chargers
14. Minnesota Vikings
15. Washington Redskins
16. New York Jets
17. San Francisco 49ers
18. New York Giants
19. Dallas Cowboys
20. Kansas City Chiefs
21. Chicago Bears
22. Detroit Lions
23. Seattle Seahawks
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
25. Jacksonville Jaguars
26. Denver Broncos
27. Oakland Raiders
28. Arizona Cardinals
29. St. Louis Rams
30. Cleveland Browns
31. Carolina Panthas
32. Buffalo Bills

That's it, that's the list.

His Dirkness