NFL Power Rankings

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Parody is such a beautiful thing. The NFL is the only professional league that seeks out parody in every way possible. The Draft, the schedule, the revenue sharing, and the future implementation of the salary floor (not until 2013 I think) are all designed to give the 32 teams an equal opportunity to compete. And it's the main reason why the NFL is so successful. Every fan can believe that it is their team's year before the season begins. Three weeks in there are only three undefeated teams in the NFL, and two of them were completely off the radar last season (Bills, Lions). That means that all of the teams considered elite going into the season have atleast one loss, except for the defending Super Bowl Champs. And that's where we begin with the Week 3 power rankings.

(Laugh at my Preseason NFL Power Rankings: here)

NFL Power Rankings ~ Week 3

Ye Faithfuls
1. Green Bay Packers - Nice start, but what I want to see is how they handle adversity this season.
2. New Orleans Saints - My predicted Super Bowl winner is in good shape. There is no better QB in the NFL at playing from behind than Drew Brees.
3. Baltimore Ravens - Emphatic blowout this week showed me that their loss to Tennessee was a fluke.
4. Dallas Cowboys - A blocked punt away from being 3-0. This is starting to feel like Tony Romo's year to me.
5. New England Patriots - Brady has already surpassed his interception total of last season. I'm not sure if Belichick still believes in playing defense.

New Kids on the Block
6. Fuckin' Spunky Buffalo Bills - Impressed by their defense keeping them in the game against NE. Super impressed by Chan Gailey kneeling on the ball to kick a field goal with no time left.
7. Oakland Raiders - Their defensive line is better than the Lions' defensive line. I'm ready to call Darren McFadden the second best running back in the NFL.

8. Detroit Lions - Still cannot run the ball, the team finished with 20 yards on 19 attempts last game.

9. New York Jets - Could be a dangerous 10-6 team going into the Playoffs. Familiar eh?
10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I really want Josh Freeman to be called "Freebs." Or Fozzy Bearman.

The Letdowns
11. Houston Texans - Should be higher, but I feel like we're all waiting for their midseason collapse.
12. San Diego Chargers - I haven't seen the more determined team I expected to when I predicted them to make the Super Bowl.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers - Something doesn't feel right with this team. Reeks of a disappointing season.
14. Philadelphia Eagles - The comparisons to the Miami Heat are remarkable, right down to the poor start to the season and the whiny ass star of the team.
15. Atlanta Falcons - Should be 0-3 if Vick doesn't get hurt. This team was vastly overrated last season.

Middle of the Pack
16. New York Giants - Have 8-8 written all over them. I thought they might be pissed after seeing that DeSean Jackson punt return 87,000 times this offseason.
17. Washington Redskins - Ryan Kerrigan appears to be the real deal on what could be a rough defense.
18. Chicago Bears - Their punt return play was seriously awesome. Watch it here.
19. Tennessee Titans - Matt Hasselbeck has been my biggest surprise of the season. Chris Johnson is no longer a top 20 running back.

Showing some Spunk
20. Cleveland Browns - Could be the worst Playoff team ever if they win the games they should.
21. Carolina Panthers - Cam Newton never got enough credit for his dominating run at Auburn last year because of the number of pointless scandal stories.
22. Cincinnati Bengals - I have no idea how, but this team doesn't appear to be an easy victory. Could shock the Bills next week.

This Really is an NFL Division
23. St. Louis Rams - Have looked sooooo bad, and I still make them the favorites in the division at 0-3.
24. San Francisco 49ers - Please don't make me watch them this year.
25. Arizona Cardinals - Quarterbacks are never good after they leave Andy Reid's side.
26. Seattle Seahawks - Should be lower, but they fit the cut of this category's jib. Winning in Seattle still isn't easy.

Andrew Luck Sweepstakes
27. Denver Broncos - Crisis averted, I whiffed on my NFL surprise pick.
28. Minnesota Vikings - Made the top 5 for the first half of my preparations for this post. Then the second half happened.
29. Kansas City Chiefs - For better or worse, showed signs of returning to last year's form.
30. Indianapolis Colts - Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis will only try that hard for their primetime games.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars - Might be the worst team, but they are less likely to tank games at the end of the season.
32. Miami Dolphins - The frontrunners. Cheer hard for them.

His Dirkness

2011 NFL Preview

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To make it easy for all my Crodies out there, I'm going to link up all of my 2011 NFL Preview articles onto this one nice, neat post. Link-um's!

2011 NFL Predictions

NFL Power Rankings - Preseason

Who will be the NFL's Surprise Team?

Top Ten NFL Team Over/Under Bets

Ranking the NFL's 32 Quarterbacks

NFL's Top 25 Players

Yahoo Pick Em League - Winner gets an official His Dirkness t-shirt!!!
Group Name: His Dirk-nicians
Group ID #65684
Password: chiefs

And for the hell of it...

2011 College Football Predictions


Happy NFoLiday,
HisDirkness.com

2011 NFL PREDICTIONS

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Click here to make fun of my last year's predictions!

AFC

AFC East
New England Patriots 11-5 (3 seed)

Buffalo Bills 9-7

New York Jets 9-7
Miami Dolphins 2-14

AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers 13-3 (1 seed)
Baltimore Ravens 11-5 (5 seed)
Cleveland Browns 9-7
Cincinnati Bengals 4-12

AFC South
Houston Texans 11-5 (4 seed)

Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11

Tennessee Titans 5-11

Indianapolis Colts 3-13

AFC West
San Diego Chargers 12-4 (2 seed)
Denver Broncos 10-6 (6 seed)
Kansas City Chiefs *-*
Oakland Raiders 6-10

NFC

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys 11-5 (3 seed)
Philadelphia Eagles 11-5 (5 seed)
Washington Redskins 7-9
New York Giants 6-10

NFC North
Green Bay Packers 13-3 (1 seed)
Detroit Lions 10-6 (6 seed)
Minnesota Vikings 9-7
Chicago Bears 6-10

NFC South
New Orleans Saints 12-4 (2 seed)
Atlanta Falcons 9-7
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-9
Carolina Panthers 3-13

NFC West
St. Louis Rams 9-7 (4 seed)

Arizona Cardinals 6-10

San Francisco 49ers 6-10
Seattle Seahawks 4-12

PLAYOFFS?!?!? Playoffs.

WildCard Round:
AFC - New England over Denver, Baltimore over Houston
NFC - Dallas over Detroit, Philadelphia over St. Louis

Divisional Round:
AFC - San Diego over New England, Pittsburgh over Baltimore
NFC - New Orleans over Dallas, Philadelphia over Green Bay

Championship Round:
AFC - San Diego over Pittsburgh
NFC - New Orleans over Philadelphia

Super Bowl:

New Orleans over San Diego

Awards n' Shit

MVP: Philip Rivers, San Diego

Offensive Player of the Year: Andre Johnson, Houston

Defensive Player of the Year: Clay Matthews, Green Bay

Comeback Player of the Year: Donovan McNabb, Minnesota

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mark Ingram, New Orleans

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Von Miller, Denver

Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh

Winner of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes: Miami Dolphins

His Dirkness

2010 NFL Playoff Predictions

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Chiefs playoff preview extravaganza wrapping up later today, with the keys to victory for our CHIEFSSS!!!!

To get you caught up here's links to anything and everything you need to know this week:

• Opening Thoughts on Why Ravens are Better Matchup Than Jets
• Ranking The Playoff Quarterbacks
• Ranking The Playoff Teams
• Breaking Down the Baltimore Ravens

Now for some playoff predictions, which I usually struggle mightily with.....

AFC-

Wildcard Round:

New York Jets over Indianapolis Colts 20-17

Kansas City Chiefs over Baltimore Ravens 20-10

Divisional Round:

New England Patriots over New York Jets 30-14

Pittsburgh Steelers over Kansas City Chiefs 13-7

AFC Championship:

Pittsburgh Steelers over New England Patriots 31-27

NFC-

Wildcard Round:

New Orleans Saints over Seattle Seahawks 24-21

Philadelphia Eagles over Green Bay Packers 28-14

Divisional Round:

New Orleans Saints over Atlanta Falcons 27-10

Philadelphia Eagles over Chicago Bears 23-13

NFC Championship:

Philadelphia Eagles over New Orleans Saints 30-20

Super Bowl:

Pittsburgh Steelers over Philadelphia Eagles 17-13

His Dirkness

Ranking the Playoff Teams

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This is the follow up article to yesterday's Ranking of the Playoff Quarterbacks piece.

The criteria for today's rankings of the playoff teams are based on their chances to win the Super Bowl. This means that even if I have one team above another on this list, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'd pick that team to win that particular game. It just means they'd have a better chance at winning it all. Potential plays a great role in these rankings.

Take it with you......

1. Pittsburgh Steelers- Whaaa? Not the Patriots?!? Nope, no sir, unh-uh. While I acknowledge the advantage the Patriots hold on the offensive side of the ball, as well as the homefield advantage, I cannot go against the best defense in the league. Combine that with a 2-time Super Bowl winning quarterback, and a team that's peaking at the right time, and you have my Super Bowl XLV favorites. Remember, the only reason the Steelers missed the playoffs last year was because Troy Polamalu (the best player in the NFL) got hurt, at which point they fell apart. I'm sure in their minds, they are still the defending Super Bowl champs.

2. New England Patriots- I really believe the Super Bowl may be decided in the AFC Championship Game between the Steelers and Patriots (haven't we been there before?). New England has overachieved all season long, which is a testament to their coaching. They are not a great team. However, they have played great (there's a difference). Now, if they continue to play at that same level, then they will most likely win the Super Bowl, but it is very difficult to maintain that level throughout the NFL playoffs, when you get every team's best shot. This team does feel a lot more like the Patriots teams of old that won Super Bowls, as opposed to the Patriots teams of recent, who have dominated stat sheets, but come up short in the playoffs.

3. New Orleans Saints- Yes, I declare a team that will have to win 3 road games in order to advance to the Super Bowl the favorites in the NFC. I don't believe in either of the teams with bye weeks in the NFC (the exact opposite of the AFC). The Saints are the one team with Super Bowl experience (besides the Seahawks, but they don't count), which goes a long way in the NFL. They are banged up at the running back position, but since when has that been an issue for the Saints? In fact, it's best to feed a back (even if lesser skilled) with fresh legs this time of year (Shonn Greene last season). And don't forget that they are hypothetically the 5th team with a bye week in these playoffs, with their Seattle draw in the opening round.

4. Atlanta Falcons- No, I'm not fully sold on Matt Ryan's iciness. No, I don't believe the Falcons boast a Super Bowl quality defense (although John Abraham would be the reason they could). I think I got overly soured on the Falcons when Merrill Hoge started spouting off about how the only rushing attack better than the Chiefs was that of the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sorry but 1st > 12th, 164.2 > 118.2, and 4.7 > 3.8. All that said, I will be rooting for Tony G to experience some postseason success for the first time in his career. I should like these Falcons, but I just don't. The good news for the Falcons is that I said most of these same things about the New Orleans Saints last season, and things turned out alright for them.

5. Philadelphia Eagles- Has Michael Vick run out of magic? Or was he a little hampered by injuries that have since healed with his week off? If he returns to his midseason form, then the Eagles could become Super Bowl favorites. The problem is, I haven't seen it for a handful of weeks now. I don't think Vick will ever stay healthy for an entire season again if he continues to put his body in harm's way. However, DeSean Jackson (most explosive player in the NFL), Trent Cole (could be NFL's most underrated player), and Asante Samuel (NFL's best playoff CB) give the Eagles the necessary components to make a run. Remember the rules of Andy Reid though: His teams never lose following a bye week (last week was basically a bye week for the Eagles), and he's one of the worst in-game managers in the NFL (forgets that running the ball is an option, challenges are always an adventure, really needs to hire a 25 year old Madden player as a consultant).

6. Green Bay Packers- The Intercontinental Champion (Rodgers) is looking to join the big boys and become the Heavyweight Champion of the World (seriously, Rodgers must've been a huge WWF fan with all his belt signaling). The Packers are easy to figure out, but tough to solve. They can throw the ball around the schoolyard (extraordinarily good YAC!), play stout defense (surprisingly 2nd in the NFL in points allowed), and can't run the ball worth a lick (Hi, I'm John Kuhn). So in order for Rodgers to make the Shawn Michaels leap (besides Superkicking Marty Jannetty through a glass window-check out that mullet), he'll have to be near perfect (very possible).

7. Baltimore Ravens- The Ravens are all about intimidation. If you can get past their scary superficialities, and look deep down into their souls, then they can be beaten. But that's no easy task. They're strategy is to hit you in the mouth and make you beg for mercy in the 1st quarter. They want to make you think you can't run the ball on them, and gobble up turnovers when you believe that fact. They want you to feel that murder is a real possibility with them, but.....well, nevermind. The Ravens force more teams to fold than any other team in the NFL, but teams that have what it takes to stand up to them can defeat them. Also, Joe Flacco's unibrow is heinous.

8. Indianapolis Colts- The similarities between the Colts 2007 Super Bowl Championship team and this year's team are there: 3 seeds, improved run defense over the course of the season, and struggling through their worst regular seasons of the Peyton is God era. However, the similarities end there. Peyton isn't what he used to be. Dallas Clark isn't walking through those doors. Bob Sanders is in an old folks home somewhere. Jim Caldwell is as pointless as a circle. The Colts could beat the Patriots but could not, would not, beat the Steelers.

9. Chicago Bears- I've doubted da Bears throughout the entirety of the season, and I ain't about to quit now. Butt Ugly Jay Cutler is gonna try and do too much and most likely cost the Bears their first playoff game. Anybody remember how he blew the Broncos' playoff opportunities year after year? Man, I do. It was great. However, I am very impressed by the Bears defense, and would probably rank them 2nd behind the Steelers in that category. Also, playoff games in Chicago are always fun. I like the cold, the good fans, and the overwhelming sense of doom that runs throughout the stadium when anything bad happens.

10. New York Jets- Anybody else tired of Rex Ryan's schtick? We get it Rex, you think your team is great, and you can't wait to tell us all about it. I can't wait till your team encounters major adversity and starts to doubt the bullcorn you've been feeding them since you took over. I'm calling Sexy Rexy doesn't last two more years after this season. He might even get fired before then on account of podophilia (8 year olds, Dude). I also can't wait to see Sanchez blow it, L.T. sit out another playoff game, Santonio Holmes celebrate in the midst of an ass-kicking, Bill Callahan make his face like he's about to yawn, or Antonio Cromartie conceive another child during halftime of one of their games.

11. Kansas City Chiefs- Hate to put my beloved Chiefs this low on the list, but they would have to go through #7, #1, and #2 (most likely) just to even get there. I believe the Chiefs could be better than half of the teams in the NFC, but aren't fortunate enough to share the same path. It was very interesting hearing Trent Dilfer (ESPN's best TV guy) on The Sports Guy's podcast this week utter these surprising words, "I think the Chiefs could really give the Patriots some problems." I almost fell back in my chair at work (crashing into all the finest cheap vodkas we have to offer here at Kreitzer Liquors) when I heard that. His explanation centered around Romeo Crennel being able to control Brady. Now all I want is that opportunity to see if he could possibly be right. Dear 6 pound 8 ounce baby Jesus (I like to picture Jesus as an ice dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life), please let this happen.

12. Seattle Seahawks- It will be interesting to see if the Seahawks can ride their homefield momentum wave enough to even draw close to the New Orleans Saints. I'm secretly very excited for this game just because of how much this Seabags team has been mocked nationally throughout the week. Aside from that, I would create a rule that says a team must win atleast 9 games to represent your division in the playoffs. In addition, a team would have to win 10 games in order to host a playoff game. This would end the silly charade of a team like Seattle hosting a playoff game in the future, and would create more purpose for late season games that would be lacking meaning without this rule. Win-win.

Go Chiefs!

His Dirkness

2010 NFL PREDICTIONS

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AFC East
Miami Dolphins 11-5
New England Patriots 8-8
New York Jets 7-9
Buffalo Bills 3-13

AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
Baltimore Ravens 10-6 (WC)
Pittsburgh Steelers 9-7
Cleveland Browns 5-11

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts 11-5
Houston Texans 10-6 (WC)
Tennessee Titans 8-8
Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11

AFC West
San Diego Chargers 10-6
Kansas City Chiefs 7-9
Oakland Raiders 6-10
Denver Broncos 5-11

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys 12-4
Washington Redskins 10-6 (WC)
New York Giants 8-8
Philadelphia Eagles 7-9

NFC North
Green Bay Packers 13-3
Minnesota Vikings 11-5 (WC)
Detroit Lions 9-7
Chicago Bears 6-10

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons 11-5
New Orleans Saints 10-6
Carolina Panthas 6-10
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-13

NFC West
San Francisco 49ers 10-6
Seattle Seahawks 6-10
St. Louis Rams 5-11
Arizona Cardinals 3-13



~:~PLAYOFFS~:~

AFC

Wildcard Round
Bengals over Texans
Ravens over Chargers

Divisional Round

Bengals over Dolphins

Colts over Ravens

AFC Championship
Bengals over Colts


NFC

Wildcard Round
Vikings over 49ers
Falcons over Redskins

Divisional Round
Vikings over Packers (in Lambeau!)
Cowboys over Falcons

NFC Championship
Cowboys over Vikings


SUPER BOWL


Cowboys over Bengals (same as Tedy Bruschi)




~Awards~


MVP: Donovan McNabb, Wash (2nd- Matt Ryan- AtL)
Offensive Player of the Year: Aaron Rodgers, GB (2nd- Calvin Johnson, Det)
Defensive Player of the Year: Mario Williams, Hous (2nd- Patrick Willis, SF)
Most Improved Player: Felix Jones, Dal (2nd- Carson Palmer, Cin)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: C.J. Spiller, Buff (2nd- Dez Bryant, Dal)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Ndamukong Suh, Det (2nd- Jerry Hughes, Ind)
Coach of the Year: Tony Sparano, Mia (2nd- Marvin Lewis, Cin)