Thoughts on Steve Breaston

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The Chiefs may have just pulled off the unthinkable. They may have signed a stud receiver in his prime, off the free agent market, and didn't break the bank in the process.

Or he may be a complete bust. You never really know with wide receivers, the weirdest position in football. Take Randy Moss for example. Two years removed from being arguably the best player in the NFL, he was traded from team to team last year, and ended up serving no impact whatsoever. Why? Because he was that out of shape? Did his play fall off that much due to aging? I'm chalking it up the immeasurable peculiarity of receivers.

The unpredictable nature of receivers stems from the chemistry between he and the quarterback. If they ain't got it, fuhgeddaboutit. And there's almost no way to determine if they'll have it or not. It's simply a comfort thing, and that's true with every new quarterback-wide receiver relationship.

However, with that disclaimer out of the way, lets move on to the more tangible parts of his game.

Breaston's numbers are a lot better than I first assumed them to be. Admittedly, I didn't study his numbers before I declared myself off the bandwagon. All I had heard was how he had a monster season in 2008 with Kurt Warner as QB, followed by 2 down seasons (sounds like red flags to me). However, upon examining his stats, I wouldn't agree with that assessment one bit.

Lets break it down year by year:

*2008 - After a nothing season as a rookie in 2007 (outside of returning), Breaston capitalized on an Anquan Boldin injury (4 games missed), going off for 1,006 receiving yards on 77 receptions. Awesome numbers for a 2nd year wideout, put up in a good system from a Hall of Fame quarterback.

*2009 - With both Fitzgerald and Boldin healthy all season, Breaston's production dropped down to 55 receptions and 712 yards. Not a bad year at all from a 3rd receiver, but still in a good system and catching passes from a Hall of Fame quarterback.

*2010 - With Boldin moving on to the Ravens, Breaston was pushed into the starting lineup full time. He caught 47 balls for 718 yards (an impressive 15.3 yard average). However, the key is that he was catching the majority of his passes from Derek Anderson and the ambiguously gay trio of John Skelton, Max Hall, and Richard Bartel. It should be noted that Breaston missed 3 games due to injury (3 of only 4 games missed in his career). It should also be noted that Breaston averaged 70.2 yards per game with Anderson (the only true NFL QB) at quarterback (with a significant drop in his numbers with the youngsters). That 70.2 yards per game amounts to 1,123 yards over a full 16 game season.

My question is - What's a bigger accomplishment, 1,000 receiving yards with Kurt Warner or 700 yards with the pu-pu platter from 2010? I'd say 2010, especially when his averages from his 3 games missed takes him to 876 yards on the season (let alone the 1,123 number equated above). It's very possible that, despite what his numbers indicate, Breaston has been improving greatly from year to year.

So how will he fit in with the Chiefs? Well, first of all, if he adds 700-900 receiving yards to our offense, then he will be a very successful acquisition. That's exactly what we need out of him. He will asked to play the slot reciever (a point he has already admitted) with Baldwin and Bowe putting the wide in wide receiver (and please no more Killer B's nickname suggestions, I'm already tired of it - and yes, already working on something better). I envision Breaston working a lot of underneath routes, asked to pick up those 3rd and 4's, 3rd and 5's, and then to do some damage after the catch with the ball in his hands. Think of him as a Wes Welker lite (or dark, for that matter).

The happiest people over the signing of Breaston should be the other Chiefs' skill position players (a grouping that is suddenly very formidable). This is great news for Bowe (who is no longer options 1, 2, and 3 in the passing game), Baldwin (pressure taken off of him to perform this season), Moeaki (not alone over the middle anymore), and perhaps most of all, Jamaal Charles (who could see Priest-like openings on draw plays now).

Here's a fun exercise for you. Try and guess the order that those 5 players will finish up in receiving yards for the 2011 season. Here's mine...

1. Dwayne Bowe - 1,100 yard range
2. JamaAL Charles - 700 yard range
3. Steve Breaston - 600 yard range
4. Tony Moeaki - 500 yard range
5. Jonathan Baldwin - 500 yard range

That's all for now folks - Happy Free Agencying,
His dirkness

The Best Film of 2010

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Catching you up with links to my rankings of all the 2010 Best Picture nominees:

The Introduction of William H. Dirkness

Ranking The Best Pictures: 8-10

Ranking The Best Pictures: 4-7

Ranking The Best Pictures: 2-3

1. Black Swan

Bam! The credits roll but paralysis has overtaken my body. The other people in attendance (after laughing through many of the scenes that made them squeamish or uncomfortable) are standing and leaving the theater. Meanwhile, I can't move. I can't even think. I will be the last one to leave the theater. By far. I feel like what I had just witnessed has changed me.

The sign of a great film can be traced to the emotional impact it has on you. I experienced an entire spectrum of emotions throughout Darren Aronofsky's best film to date (2. Requiem, 3. Wrestler). When I returned home, I scribbled down on a sticky note (my preferred way to record thoughts) the following words: Delusional, paranoid, confidence, created a monster, insecurities, sense of self, dark tones. My mind was so active afterwards that I could've written a Harvard dissertation on it, but instead chose to just scribble those seven notes down.

Black Swan hit me on such a personal level with what I felt was the heart of the film: Natalie Portman character's quest for perfection. I've always wrestled with the idea of perfection. It seems so boring. Without the proper perspective of losing, it just becomes ego feed (yes this is a sports rant, my specialty, but can be applied to other facets of life). Yet, so many people seek it, while really, if it's about anything, it's about the pursuit of it. The journey > final destination (A cool story: I wrote this preceding paragraph on a spiritual frolf outing before nearly missing a called ace on #5 at Shawnee Mission Park, which gets me to my next point...).

I'm afraid of perfection. I'm an avid bowler and disc golf player who has never shot 300 or thrown an ace, while numerous people of inferior skill have accomplished those feats, for just a few examples. I feel like I handle times of failure/sadness better than times of success/happiness, which is a weird concept. It's almost as if I sense the impeding upward/downward swing that follows (a result of keeping one eye on the future instead of two eyes on the present). In conclusion, I'm better from behind (as much of the local Asian population already knows) than I am in front.

Can you believe I've written 4 paragraphs on this film and haven't even discussed the hottest lesbian scene in movie history (waiting to be proven wrong)? In fact, I was so blown away by Black Swan that the carpet munching didn't even crack my ten favorite things about the film (but maybe it will on the second viewing). The transformation of Nina, both literally and metaphorically, from an innocent White Swan to an emotionally corrupted Black Swan is truly incendiary. Incendiary. The director, the most underrated character of the film, knows that he must shatter her purity in order for her to fully embrace the role of the Black Swan, which sets the metamorphosis in motion.

The process drives Nina to the brink of exhaustion, both physically and mentally, complete with delusions and paranoia, a manifestation created from her own intrinsic insecurities, with the audience left to decide what's real and what's not (Personally believe more of the scenes are her own illusions than most other people) - I theorize that every delusion is directly related to one of Nina's scratching episodes (ripping the hangnail back is absolutely terrifying and haunted me for the ensuing fortnight). Portman portrays the character so well, that just saying she should win the Oscar for Best Actress doesn't come close to expressing how I feel about her performance. The way most people are talking about Colin Firth's performance is how I felt about her achievement. It would be an absolute travesty if she didn't emerge victorious on Sunday night.

I know Black Swan doesn't have a chance of bringing home the Best Picture Oscar, but it fulfilled its destiny by snatching up one of nominations (the committee isn't ready to recognize a film of such complicated psychological depth). Plus, what it does get, is William H. Dirkness' first annual 'Best Movie of the Year' label. Furthermore, searching back a few years, Black Swan would classify as the most powerful and meaningful film to me since 2007's No Country For Old Men.

IMDB Nugget: SPOILER: There is a mirror or a reflective surface in nearly every shot of the film. The only noticeable place where there isn't one is when Nina is on stage, during the film's climax, performing the Black Swan, when her 'dark side' has taken over.

IMDB Double Dose: Nina Sayers: I was perfect...

I hope you all enjoyed my rankings of the 2010 Best Picture nominees, and hope that you gained something from atleast one of the films. Everybody enjoy the Academy Awards tomorrow night!

William H. Dirkness

Ranking The Best Pictures: Films #8-10

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William H. Dirkness is proud to announce that he has soaked in all 10 Best Picture nominations of the year. It wasn't easy as I was forced to trek through foot high snow drifts, while dealing with young punk kids and their fancy cell phones lighting up the local cinemas. Don't worry though, I only had to get violent once, and that 13 year old girl deserved it (she tried to spoil the ending to Toy Story 3). This year's crop also led me to question my sexuality, halt my quest for perfection, and dream about dreaming about dreaming about dreaming up a new social networking website.

I would describe the field as deep, because there wasn't a movie that I disliked, while there was only one truly great film that stood out by itself, which earns masterpiece status in my books (sticky notes). My final rankings of the films 1-10 are complete, which I will reveal to the world over the course of the next week, in reverse order, but of course. My feelings on the films may include some spoilers, but I won't give away enough to ruin the essence of enjoyment for you (or atleast I'll warn majorly ahead of time if I do). With each movie I plan on sharing an interesting IMDB nugget along with, because I love scouring a movie's page after watching it to solidify my thoughts. You may also find me referencing the 8 criterion I laid out defining my enjoyment of the movie-watching experience, which can be found in my introduction to the film blogosphere.

Without further ado, here w'go.....

10. Toy Story 3

Despite coming in last on my list of Best Pics, this flick was not disliked by any means. At no point did I think to myself that the movie was bad. It was charming and enjoyable, just not award-worthy. Ever since experiencing the greatness of WALL*E, which had such an excellent social commentary representation, that now animated films are staring down a new ceiling. It's very similar to how The Dark Knight came along and raised the stakes for all comic book movies. Now, while WALL*E is The Dark Knight in this analogy, Toy Story 3 comes off like Iron Man 2. It was good, but couldn't even approach the achievement of its predecessor.

Now you might say it's unfair to compare animated films to past greats, which I concur that might be true, to which I would say there just wasn't enough substance to stand up to the other 9 films. It almost felt like an episode of a 90's TV show dealing with cults (Boy Meets World comes to mind). The lost souls (other toys beside Woody/Shawn) believed that their new home was going to be a great place (Shawn), while the protagonist (Woody/Corey) did all that he could to help them see the truth. Meanwhile, my favorite character was the charismatic cult leader (Lotso), who if you aren't beware of, might screw you over (although Barbie is rather sassy as well).

IMDB Nugget: WILHELM SCREAM: During the opening segment of old home footage, when Andy is watching TV with the toys. YESSSSS! Greatly admire a good wilhelming.

IMDB Double Dose: Sid Phillips, the next-door-neighbor who was the first movie's major antagonist (he destroyed toys by blowing them up, and he liked to dismember toys and reconstruct them by mixing up their parts) makes a brief appearance in the third movie as a garbageman. He is identifiable by the same black and white skull t-shirt he wore during the first movie, and he is voiced by the same actor, Erik von Detten. This character was awesome!

9. The King's Speech

The most overrated movie of the nominations. That's not a statement to say it's a bad movie, but is just so outside the realm of what I'm looking for. I did actually enjoy the movie because it didn't suck, therefore impressing me. Every year the Oscars nominates a period piece oozing with elegance and sophistication (Atonement, The Reader, The Queen), that I find to be bloody boring. So, the fact that I didn't hate this speaks highly towards it. Part of my enjoyment may have come from trying to decide if leading man, Colin Firth, looked more like Bill Self or John Calipari (It's Calipari).

The heart of the story was the main character overcoming his biggest fear in the grandest way possible. Unfortunately, I never really felt enough sympathy towards the character to fully enjoy what the movie had to offer (I would have drawn out the opening scene about twice as long, where the introduction of his speech impediment is fully displayed, letting that initial embarrassment drive the story even more so). Also, I would've liked to see more from his brother (played by Jude Law!), who held his reign for all of about 5 minutes, but partied it up Charlie Sheen style while he did. Those are just a few of my complaints on the only movie with a chance of upsetting The Social Network for the Osceeeeee.

IMDB Nugget: Lionel (the speech therapist) is reputed never to have sworn in front of the King, nor ever to have called him 'Bertie.' This was one of my favorite elements to the movie, the informal way Lionel (definitely the best character) treated the King, but it wasn't historically accurate. I've debated whether this bothers me ever since reading it, and honestly have yet to reach a conclusion. However, it is interesting to note.

8. The Kids Are All Right

Although "gay movies" tend to be a bit overrated, because people are quick to tell you how much it doesn't bother them, this movie does a good job of avoiding the usual stereotypes of those types of movies. And by that, I don't mean they avoid stereotypes oftentimes hung on homosexuals, but by taking an honest look at a relationship between two members of the same sex. The heart of this movie can be traced to that relationship and its refreshing look into its dysfunctions. Oftentimes, movies like to portray these relationships as especially erotic (always hot n' heavy) or without much struggle (there's always the happy gay couple). This movie drives home the point that their relationships can go through many of the same troubles that heterosexual couples do.

The movie also adds the extra speed bump a gaylationship might encounter, with a man thrown into the mix, who just happens to be the sperm donor for the couple's children. Of course, that man is played by the Ruff Dogg (Mark Ruffalo), who happens to be the best part of the flick. The movie is superbly acted, although I was not wowed by Annette Benning (who's character is named Nic!), who is Natalie Portman's biggest competition for Best Actress. I was more impressed by the always-likeable Julianne Moore, who shares my affection for the Ruff Dogg. 8 is a low number on this list, but this movie sits at the bottom of a logjam from 4-8.

IMDB Nugget: When Jules is trying, awkwardly, to explain the reasons that lesbians might prefer to watch gay male pornography rather than porn showing two women together, one of the reasons she gives is that they always cast two straight woman pretending to be gay in those movies. Both Julianne Moore, who plays Jules, and Annette Bening, who plays Nic, are in their real lives straight actress pretending to be lesbians for this movie. That scene is as awesome as it sounds.

Be sure to check back in for films 1-7, which will all be coming your way before the Academy Awards air next Sunday.

William H. Dirkness

NFL Parity and Power Rankings

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It's the return (the turn, turn). The return (turn, turn). It's the return. It's. The. Return. You're welcome OutKast fans. Thankfully, the aspect that the NFL strives to promote so greatly has returned to the league for the 2010 season: Parity.

After watching the Patriots and Colts dominate the AFC for the last ten years, and lasting through the undefeated stints of the Saints (13-0) and Colts (14-0) in 2009, the 2010 NFL season is void of any true favorite (Yes, the Patriots, Colts, and Saints are still around, but not in the same dominating ways of the past). This is when the NFL thrives. It's a league that depends on the names on the front of the jersey. And it's a league that's designed to give every team a chance at the Super Bowl. We remember the 1999 Rams as fondly as the 49ers/Cowboys/Patriots dynasties.

Despite promoting parity, there has been a certain disparity in the league the last ten years. It seems nobody was ready to handle the salary cap upon its inception in the mid 90's. Teams didn't understand how to build around the cap, which ensured that great teams didn't last more than a handful of years. Then the Patriots and Colts figured things out, got star QB's, and broke the NFL mold by contending for championships every year. Since then, teams have slowly caught up (although, still not all the way), and their franchise QB's have grown older. Suddenly new quarterbacks are mentioned in the same breath (Brees, Rivers, Rodgers, Thigpen - still nobody mentions Ben Roth Biglisberger).

This will inevitably lead to an exciting finish to the season with all the close division races, and a playoffs that's wide open to all 12 teams (well, 11, minus the NFC West winner). So when all you young'in's are ordering rounds of shots this weekend, make sure you toast to parity, the most underrated aspect in all of sports, and the difference between a good NFL season and a great NFL season (there are no bad NFL seasons, although 2009 was as close as it gets).

Previous NFL Power Rankings:

• Week 3
• Week 7

Week 13 NFL Power Rankings:

1. Atlanta Falcons
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
3. New Orleans Saints
4. New York Jets
5. New England Patriots
6. Philadelphia Eagles
7. Green Bay Packers
8. Baltimore Ravens
9. San Diego Chargers
10. Chicago Bears
11. New York Giants
12. Kansas City Chiefs
13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
14. Indianapolis Colts
15. Miami Dolphins
16. Jacksonville Jaguars
17. Cleveland Browns
18. Oakland Raiders
19. Washington Redskins
20. St. Louis Rams
21. Houston Texans
22. Buffalo Bills
23. Tennessee Titans
24. Minnesota Vikings
25. Seattle Seabags
26. Detroit Lions
27. Dallas Cowboys
28. San Francisco 49ers
29. Denver Broncos
30. Arizona Cardinals
31. Cincinnati Bengals
32. Carolina Panthas

Power Ranking Statistical Analysis:

Biggest Risers (compared to my Week 7 Rankings):
1. San Diego Chargers +14
2. Cleveland Browns +12
2. Oakland Raiders +12
4. Jacksonville Jaguars +11
5. Buffalo Bills +10
5. Chicago Bears +10

Biggest Fallers:
1. Tennessee Titans -14
2. Cincinnati Bengals -12
3. Minnesota Vikings -10
4. Seattle Seahawks -8
5. Indianapolis Colts -7

Most Overrated Teams (compared against ESPN's Power Rankings):
1. Baltimore Ravens -4
2. Tennessee Titans -4
3. Houston Texans -4

Most Underrated Teams:
1. Cleveland Browns +7
2. Detroit Lions +5
2. Buffalo Bills +5

H'dirkness

A Fine Line Between Emotion and Irrationality

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This article was posted on my HuskerCorner page, where it received a lot of traffic and comments. It was one of most emotional writings to date, and wanted it in my archives here on His Dirkness. Here goes...


Tonight’s game went above and beyond wins and losses.

The anger I feel right now is not because of the fact that Nebraska lost to Texas A&M. I can handle losing. I cannot handle when losing becomes secondary to outside forces affecting the outcome of the game.

I would be just as infuriated if Nebraska had pulled out the game in the end (although, I’m sure my vulgarity would have been expressed in a more positive manner).

My bigger concern is the credibility of the conference which the Huskers still call home for at least one more game. The Big 12 no longer has credibility, and I’m not sure if I can support any future athletic competitions staged by the conference.

The Big 12 no longer gets the benefit of the doubt from me, with a clear vendetta aimed against Nebraska for jettisoning the conference following the 2010 season (understandably so). Nebraska winning the Big 12 Championship in their swan song is Commissioner Dan Beebe’s worst nightmare (and Husker fans biggest fantasy).

It’s still a step above the WWF/E (but a step below the NBA) because the Huskers weren’t made aware of the outcome prior to the game. By all other accounts, the two organizations now occupy the same level of authenticity as athletic competitions. There to entertain, but not to be taken seriously.

I want to make it clear that I am not making the argument that Nebraska deserved to win this game. They didn’t play particularly well, especially on offense, and were held hostage by a reoccurring ankle injury to QB Taylor Martinez the entire game. I’m fine with that.

Again, let me reiterate: I’m not pissed that Nebraska lost (Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to believe me). I felt robbed of a spectacular sporting event with two teams going into battle to determine a victor. The true outcome of the game will forever remain unknown to me.

Preparation, hard work, and energy were the true losers of tonight. If you’re feeling distraught as a fan right now, try and imagine how the players/coaches are feeling.

Or maybe you caught Bo Pelini running after the refs following the game. I was literally bracing for Bo to fight an official, an act that he most likely would’ve been fired for (took me 15 minutes to feel thankful for that not happening).

Or maybe you caught his postgame press conference. He has the look of somebody who just committed a serious crime. I dare you to ask him about the officiating!

I feel the best thing I can do at this juncture is use my platform to draw attention to the problem. People need to be made aware of this.

Perspective will set in soon enough, but now is not the time for that. My thoughts don’t extend beyond winning the final Big 12 Championship before heading for the greener pastures of the Big Ten. So I leave you with nothing but facts…

• The roughing the passer call on Courtney Osborne was THE worst call of the College Football season (oh, it’s a fact!), seen here.
• Nebraska had 16 penalties for 145 yards, both school records.
• Texas A&M had 2 penalties for 10 yards.
• Texas A&M came into the game ranking 111th in the country in penalties, averaging 8.7 penalties per game for 68.8 yards per game.
• Nebraska received two personal fouls for this play.
• Coming into the game, Nebraska opponents had been flagged a conference-low 46 times. Second lowest was 57. That team? The Colorado Buffaloes. What similarity do those two teams share?
• A crucial third down flag on Texas A&M was waived off with no explanation (wasn’t deserving of a flag. Still fishy).

His Dirkness

2010 Kansas City Chiefs Midseason Report

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We are halfway through the season, which means it's time for some midseason reporting on this Kansas City Chiefs team. Yes, this would've been 20x funner (it's a word) if the Chiefs had made a play to win the game at five different junctures against the Raiders on Sunday. But whatdyagonnado? Fuhgeddaboutit!

But everybody, please quit pretending like the Raiders are good. Did you see how bad they looked on Sunday? I have zero fear in losing the division to them. Only the Chargers. People picking the Raiders to win the division is obsurd. Talk to me after the Chiefs stomp that ass at Arrowhead.

So how's this gonna work? I'm going to grade each and every player's contribution to the team so far, followed by the lasting thought of them from the first half of the 2010 season. Expectation is somewhat of a factor, so if you see a good player who is struggling low on the list, do not freak out. I will be listing them in order of performance, starting with who I consider the Chiefs' best player to be on the year.

Without further ado, lets boogie....

"A's"

• Jamaal Charles (96)- Gets nod at #1 because running game has carried us this year. Been the best player since his 56-yard touchdown run against Chargers in the opener.
• Tamba Hali (94)- I've been telling everybody since the 2009 preseason that he would thrive at the Outside Linebacker position. He's making me look good. Earning his Muhammad Hali nickname.
• Brandon Flowers (93)- The team's best player for 7 weeks may have been the worst player on the field in the 8th game.
• Ryan Lilja (92)- Selected as All-Pro by both ESPN and Sports Illustrated. Hadn't caught my eye that much, but there must be something there.
• Glenn Dorsey (91)- Chiefs' most improved player will be our very own Richard Seymour in two years.
• Branden Albert (90)- Will be the Chiefs' left tackle for the next 10 years.

"B's"

• Derrick Johnson (89)- Must have finally learned his vocabulary word handed to him before every season: Consistency.
• Wallace Gilberry (88)- Officially launching my campaign to get noticed by Gilberry, my favorite Chief. Would love chance to interview or just hang out with him. If you know him, tell him I'm his #1 fan.
• Tony Moeaki (88-not an accident)- Shocking that he has been the best rookie on the Chiefs team.
• Casey Wiegmann (87)- I thought he was the biggest difference maker on the Chiefs' line until Lilja's accolades started rolling in.
• Ryan Succop (87)- The missed kick in OT against the Bills was entirely not his fault. Trust him in the clutch.
• Thomas Jones (86)- Love everything he's done except for inability to pick up 3rd-and-1, which is starting to become a real problem for this team.
• Shaun Smith (86)- Crotch-grabbing stats are down, production is down. Coincidence?
• Brian Waters (85)- Still the man despite being owned by Richard Seymour on Sunday.
• Dwayne Bowe (84)- Take away two drops and Chiefs fans are calling him D-Pro-Bowe.
• Jovan Belcher (84)- Been spectacularly solid this year. Big time upgrade over Mays from last year.
• Brandon Carr (83)- Some good games, some bad games. Gets a ton of balls thrown his way because of Flowers on the opposite side. Still only in his third year. Still worthy of starting.
• Dexter McCluster (82)- Offense has sputtered since The Ole Missile was injured two weeks ago. Alright Seinfeld fans, "Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well!"
• Jon McGraw (81)- A surprisingly big factor on the Chiefs' defense this year.  Tied for the team lead in INT's. Needs to pitch it to Berry after his next pick though. Seriously.
• Eric Berry (81)- Chiefs' most improved player throughout the year. Shuts down outside sweeps like he is shot out of a cannon. Still vulnerable to playaction though.
• Barry Richardson (80)- Thought to be a weak link on the line before the season, may come out of the season as a big part of the Chiefs future.

"C's"

• Andy Studebaker (79)- Would like to see him on the field more the latter part of this year. I think we will.
• Ron Edwards (79)- Better than last year probably due to playing less snaps. Crucial part of solid run defense.
• Mike Cox (78)- Running game seems to flow better with him at fullback. Unsure why he was replaced by Castille for the Raiders game, but our running game seemed to suffer.
• Matt Cassel (77)- Read this.
• Jon Asamoah (77)- Had a funny dream that Asamoah got pulled over and was performing offensive line drills in full pads as part of a sobriety test, which I was watching on ESPN. Thought this was true for the better part of a week.
• Javier Arenas (76)- With his punt return for a TD leaving my conscious mind, his mistakes in the return game are piling up. May have cost us the Raiders game with flubbed kick return. Made some plays at cornerback though.
• Tyson Jackson (75)- How he responds to being benched this year will foreshadow how the rest of his career in Kansas City will go. Dorsey's development gives me faith in Tyson.
• Terrance Copper (75)- Made a hell of a catch against Jacksonville for a crucial 3rd down conversion. Could he be the best blocking receiver in the NFL? I'm secretly a big Terrance Copper fan.
• Thomas Gafford (75)- Don't remember a single bad snap this year. Kendall Gammon Jr.
• Mike Vrabel (73)- Should maybe be listed under coaches. Love his intangibles, but a better pass rusher is too crucial for his position. 0 sacks.
• Kendrick Lewis (73)- Has disappeared since the first few games. I think he's been injured. Bright future though.
• Dustin Colquitt (72)- Is tied with his brother (Britton-Denver) in net punt average this year, unfortunately they're tied for 21st in the league.
• Verran Tucker (72)- One play. One catch. One foot?
• Demorrio Williams (71)- Seems to get a lot of special teams penalties, no? Would be solid filling in for injury's sake. Love his passion.
• Brodie Croyle (70)- Sure does make a much better backup QB than starting QB.

"D's"

• Anthony Toribio (69)- I questioned who #98 was three weeks in a row in my notebook. Then I learned.
• Donald Washington (68)- Victim of god awful defensive holding call on final drive against the Raiders. Also, had his ankles broken against the Texans. Better than our last #27 though.
• Jackie Battle (66)- Keep seeing his highlight of reaching the ball over the goal-line. Could he be a potential solution to our 3rd-and-1 problems?
• Leonard Pope (63)- He's tall.
• Jake O'Connell (62)- He got popped by Bernard Pollard, which was followed by Pollard staring down the Chiefs' sideline.

"F's"

• Tim Castille (58)- Wasn't his first name Quentin?
• Rudy Niswanger (50)- More about his last year's play than this year's.
• Ryan O'Callaghan (50)- See Niswanger, Rudy.
• Corey Mays (50)- See O'Callaghan, Ryan.
• Travis Daniels (42)- Played the Raiders kickoff return TD horribly. He was the guy on the edge backpedaling all the way up until Jacoby was way past him.
• Chris Chambers (37)- Apparently doesn't care anymore.

Incompletes:

• Justin Cole- Leads the list of linebackers that I didn't know we had.
• Cory Greenwood- Was watching the whole preseason under the assumption he was somebody else.
• Mark Simoneau- Happy Veteran's Day.
• Charlie Anderson- Isn't he part of the Dave Chapelle team?
• Jackie Bates- Gotta be Jackie Battle's cousin.
• Reshard Langford- Gotta be Keith Langford's cousin.

Coaches:

• Todd Haley (91)- As previously stated, I love his 4th down gambles and the effect it will have on the team for the future. Since he is the long-term guy, it is impossible to give him a bad grade given where the team was last year, and where it is this year. But, run Jamaal Charles more.
• Charlie Weis (79)- Gets all the credit for the progression of the offensive line this year. Gets all the blame for the disaster that 3rd-and-1's have become for the Chiefs. Shouldn't the best running team in football dominate 3rd-and-1's? I don't get it. Also, run Jamaal Charles more.
• Romeo Crennel (97)- Would probably get my team MVP vote if possible. He should be in the running for NFL Assistant Coach of the Year. Somehow, he shored up our run defense and 3rd down defense (two favorite defensive statistics) into top-10 units. Now if we could just get them to run Jamaal Charles more.

Team Awards:

MVP: Tamba Hali

Offensive Player of the Year: JamaAL Charles

Defensive Player of the Year: Brandon Flowers

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Tony Moeaki

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Eric Berry

Most Improved Player: Glenn Dorsey

Most Surprising Player: Casey Wiegmann/Shaun Smith

Most Disappointing Player: Dustin Colquitt

Most Schizophrenic Player: Dwayne Bowe

Most Underrated Player: Wallace Dean Gilberry

His dirkness

Go Chiefs!!!

The Evolution of NFL Picks~AFC

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The NFL is the most constantly evolving sport in the world. It achieves success through great parody, a trait that all other leagues are jealous of (except for the NBA, which strives for the opposite). So why can't my predictions evolve along with the season (Original predictions here)? I got a chance to watch a lot of other teams during the Chiefs bye week, and assess just how much better the Chiefs are than all of them. After all, they are the last undefeated team in the NFL (odds of that: 1000/1).

So I will be taking a look back at my preseason predictions and adjusting wherever necessary. And we will be presenting the revised predictions the only way I know how, Family Feud style, with our host, Charles Darwin, the "Father of Evolution." Let the games begin...


AFC EAST

Initial Prediction: Miami Dolphins
Evolved Prediction: Charles Darwin SAYS.....New York Jets
Explanation: I was all set to potentially hand it to the Patriots and then...they traded who? Randy Moss? WHAT?!?!?!?! Bill Belichick has grown so incredibly arrogant in trying to win trades with teams and arguments with players that he has lost total sight of the big picture. Yes, it's a good trade because they'd be losing him after this year and they're getting compensation for him while they can. But, in a season with seemingly no dominant team, they threw away any chance they had at making a run for a title. So enjoy your 3rd round picks and your playoff losses (if you make it that far) Billy Boy. It's looking more and more likely that Scott Pioli was the long-term mastermind behind the Patriots. YES!!! Oh and by the way, the Vikings play the Patriots on Halloween. When I reached Randy Moss on twitter and asked him if he had any regrets on his Patriots tenure, he simply replied, "Next time I show my di......" Whoa, Randy, easy tiger. This is a family blog.

Oh yea, the Jets. I wasn't buying them before the season one iota. I got one leg up on the bandwagon now, though. Sanchez has been much better than I anticipated and LaTom is doing some work. And to tie everything together, The Jets now play the Vikings on Monday Night Football this week in a Moss-Revis rematch where shiite talking has already commenced. I'm predicting Moss goes off for 150 and touchdowns.

AFC NORTH

Initial Prediction: Cincinnati Bengals
Evolved Prediction: Chales Darwin SAYS.....Pittsburgh Steelers
Explanation: Darwin has a hold of me man. He makes some pretty strong points. We just got done discussing how the Steelers are probably the Super Bowl favorites right now. And Troy Polamalu is the most valuable non-quarterback in the NFL. Their defense is dominating teams like Ben Roethlisberger dominates women. Whoa, you can't say that. Just remember, those are Darwin's words, not mine.

AFC SOUTH

Initial Prediction: Indianapolis Colts
Evolved Prediction: Charles Darwin SAYS....Annhhhh....Indianapolis Colts
Explanation: I'm not fully sold on the Texans or the Titans overtaking the Colts yet. I think Indy's struggles continue, but they gut out the division title with something like a 10-6 record.

Semi Chiefs/Colts preview: I think the Chiefs can hang with them, as long as they don't get behind at all. There's a definite chance for a 41-10 blowout if the Colts get rolling. But, we match up well with them. Our secondary is strong to match up with their passing game. Our strong running game should be able to pound their weak run defense. Why can't we compete with them? Everybody is worried about them coming off of a loss, but Peyton is at his worst under immense pressure (PLAYOFFS?!?), and all of a sudden, their regular season is filled with pressure games. I'm not ready to pick the Chiefs, but I think we have a strong chance of winning, probably a better shot than at the Texans the next week. Oh, and I have pledges all over town that I'm doing naked cartwheels in the street if we win. Pictures available on this site.

AFC WEST

Initial Prediction: San Diego Chargers
Evolved Prediction: Charles Darwin SAYS.....Kansas City CHIEFS!!!
Explanation: This is a completely unbiased evolutionary process that is taking place. Natural selection is a better explanation. Or as Justin Timberlake eloquently puts it in The Social Network, "This is our time." Yea, Justin is right! If I can change, and J.T. can change, then everyone can change. Besides, everybody is tired of the whiny ass female doggs that play in San Diego. You're done, saun.


NFC Evolution Post coming later this week.....

His Dirkness

NFL Power Rankings: Week 3

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I intend to lay down some NFL power rankings every three weeks or so, because doing so each week would be redundant. With little else to say, lets just get to the rankings. I would appreciate any healthy debate in the comments of this post about where you think I'm mistaken. Giddy up....

Dirkness Power Rankings:

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Green Bay Packers
3. New Orleans Saints
4. Houston Texans
5. Miami Dolphins
6. Indianapolis Colts
7. Atlanta Falcons
8. Tennessee Titans
9. New England Patriots
10. Cincinnati Bengals
11. Philadelphia Eagles
12. Baltimore Ravens
13. San Diego Chargers
14. Minnesota Vikings
15. Washington Redskins
16. New York Jets
17. San Francisco 49ers
18. New York Giants
19. Dallas Cowboys
20. Kansas City Chiefs
21. Chicago Bears
22. Detroit Lions
23. Seattle Seahawks
24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
25. Jacksonville Jaguars
26. Denver Broncos
27. Oakland Raiders
28. Arizona Cardinals
29. St. Louis Rams
30. Cleveland Browns
31. Carolina Panthas
32. Buffalo Bills

That's it, that's the list.

His Dirkness

2010 NFL PREDICTIONS

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AFC East
Miami Dolphins 11-5
New England Patriots 8-8
New York Jets 7-9
Buffalo Bills 3-13

AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
Baltimore Ravens 10-6 (WC)
Pittsburgh Steelers 9-7
Cleveland Browns 5-11

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts 11-5
Houston Texans 10-6 (WC)
Tennessee Titans 8-8
Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11

AFC West
San Diego Chargers 10-6
Kansas City Chiefs 7-9
Oakland Raiders 6-10
Denver Broncos 5-11

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys 12-4
Washington Redskins 10-6 (WC)
New York Giants 8-8
Philadelphia Eagles 7-9

NFC North
Green Bay Packers 13-3
Minnesota Vikings 11-5 (WC)
Detroit Lions 9-7
Chicago Bears 6-10

NFC South
Atlanta Falcons 11-5
New Orleans Saints 10-6
Carolina Panthas 6-10
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3-13

NFC West
San Francisco 49ers 10-6
Seattle Seahawks 6-10
St. Louis Rams 5-11
Arizona Cardinals 3-13



~:~PLAYOFFS~:~

AFC

Wildcard Round
Bengals over Texans
Ravens over Chargers

Divisional Round

Bengals over Dolphins

Colts over Ravens

AFC Championship
Bengals over Colts


NFC

Wildcard Round
Vikings over 49ers
Falcons over Redskins

Divisional Round
Vikings over Packers (in Lambeau!)
Cowboys over Falcons

NFC Championship
Cowboys over Vikings


SUPER BOWL


Cowboys over Bengals (same as Tedy Bruschi)




~Awards~


MVP: Donovan McNabb, Wash (2nd- Matt Ryan- AtL)
Offensive Player of the Year: Aaron Rodgers, GB (2nd- Calvin Johnson, Det)
Defensive Player of the Year: Mario Williams, Hous (2nd- Patrick Willis, SF)
Most Improved Player: Felix Jones, Dal (2nd- Carson Palmer, Cin)
Offensive Rookie of the Year: C.J. Spiller, Buff (2nd- Dez Bryant, Dal)
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Ndamukong Suh, Det (2nd- Jerry Hughes, Ind)
Coach of the Year: Tony Sparano, Mia (2nd- Marvin Lewis, Cin)