Chiefs Play it Safe, One More Time

Many people have half-jokingly posed the question of whether the Chiefs could trade their currently held number one overall Draft pick for last year's number one pick (Lucky 2 Sucky) or even next year's top choice (anybody who isn't in this Draft, please!). Instead, the Kansas City Chiefs did the 89th (Jason Dunn!) next best thing, by trading for the number one pick of 2005, Alex Smith.

Now I've been asked by, literally, handfuls of people what I think about this trade. "Are you okay with getting Alex Smith?"

Naw man. I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay.

I'm interested in one thing above all else when it comes to today's NFL… Aggression. That's all I want. In all aspects. On the field, off the field, in the bedroom. Everywhere.

Think about the playoffs that recently concluded. Both teams that advanced to the Super Bowl were aggressive on offense, on defense, and in their decision making.

The Baltimore Ravens were considered somewhat of a laughingstock entering the playoffs, somewhat because people wrote them off after they fired their Offensive Coordinator following Week 14. Bold move.

The 49ers were sparked by a midseason change at Quarterback. Their young gun, Colin Kaepernick, was a big play waiting to happen for them. They erased three score deficits in the playoffs twice (or, rather, a 2-point conversion away from twice), because of The Kaep's abilities.

The 49ers lost the Super Bowl, a game they had no business losing, because Joe Flacco and the Ravens were the aggressors from the beginning, making play after play downfield. They had the arm (Flacco), the mind (John Harbaugh/Jim Caldwell), and the balls to do so, in my opinion because Jim Harbaugh thought he had the better team that night, backing his team into a conservative corner.

I believe this philosophy extends past last season. Bill Belichick's Patriots have long been the most aggressive team in the NFL when it comes to forward thinking (no huddle, spread, 4th downs), as well as the league's most successful team (or, at the least, the most consistent). Jeff Fisher's Titans back in the day. Vermeil's Rams. The Saints' onside kick. Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning are both second tier Quarterbacks, who have garnered the game's top prize multiple times. What similarity do they share that separates them from their peers? Their knack for the big play! Big Ben scrambles around to find open receivers down field more than anybody, while Elijah throws a gorgeous deep ball and has the right group of receivers to compliment that.

Be aggressive. Be, be aggressive.

"So what in god's name do your ramblings about aggression have to do with Alex Smith and the Chiefs?"

Oh yeah, sorry.

This trade for Alex Smith is all about playing it safe. People have spun it by saying the Chiefs got the "Best QB available." That's inaccurate. What they mean, is that the Chiefs got the QB with the lowest risk of being a failure. They traded for the most known quantity. They went with the safest bet, the best chance they had to win 9 games.

Alex Smith was a terrible QB the first six seasons of his career. His numbers turned a corner in 2011, with the arrival of Jim Harbaugh. Under his tutelage, Smith was asked not to lose games. Basically, he was what Chiefs fans hoped Matt Cassel would be. His handoffs went up and his interceptions went down. His completion % went up. His times sacked went up. So long as he stayed out of the way, the NFL's best defense and bruising running game would win a majority of the games for them. Harbaugh maxed out Alex Smith this way.

Enter Andy Reid, who carries two very well documented flaws with him, tucked away somewhere in his pantalones. He loves to pass (or maybe I should say, he hates to run). And he doesn't know what the hell's going on with this clock, these timeouts, and whatever the hell challenges are. Lets deal with the former for now.

If you support this trade, you're probably thinking one of two things:

One, Alex Smith will thrive in Andy Reid's system. Hey, I believe in The Giant Child as much as anyone, so this seems logical. But this means you're putting Alex Smith in a position where he is asked to win you games. That is Reid's system. He puts the onus on the QB. This is a direct contradiction to Harbaugh's strategy to get the most out of Smith these last two seasons, thus salvaging his career. And maybe you think Smith and Reid are capable of pulling off this transformation.

Well, I'mma go to work on that argument with a pair of pliers and a blow torch:

~Alex Smith has thrown for three 300 yard games in his 80-game career (psst, Matt Cassel has seven).

~The highest an Alex Smith led offense has finished in 3rd down conversion rate (perhaps, the most telling stat of a QB?) is 25th. The complete rundown: 32nd, 26th, 32nd, 29th, 29th, 31st, and 25th.

~In Alex Smith's 2011 breakout season, he was sacked a league leading 44 times, behind arguably the best offensive line in football, and the 20th most passing attempts in the NFL.

~In Alex Smith's best, albeit shortened, season in 2012, his Total QBR on 3rd downs was 33.1. Matt Cassel's was 44.5. (I'm harping on 3rd downs, because it's a strong indicator of what life will be like if Reid continues with his pass happy offense.)

Two, you foresee a philosophy change coming from Andy Reid. He will play to the Chiefs' strengths by running the ball, and continue to get the most out of Smith by limiting his impact, a la Jim Harbaugh. 

To which I say, what's the point? Why are the Chiefs giving up valuable Draft picks for a guy we're asking not to lose games? This formula will not bring the franchise a Super Bowl. It won't happen. I'll tattoo Smith's head on my ass and run naked down 39th street if it does happen. Seriously. Hold me to it. (Note: I probably would have done this anyway.)

I'm tired of seeing the Chiefs aim for their best chance at sustaining mediocrity. I want them to make their bold move. I'm not crazy about Geno Smith, but take a damn chance on him! Shit, draft anybody! Give Nick Foles a shot. Or Ryan Mallett. Or Chase Daniel. Anybody who I don't already know to be average.

This (lack of) aggression will not stand, man.

His Dirkness

2013 Senior Bowl Coverage

Dirkness has journeyed down to Mobile, Alabama to cover the 2013 Senior Bowl because, well, this is what covering the Kansas City Chiefs has come down to.

Anyways, Ryan Scott Hall and myself have been recording Amateur Hour podcasts with thoughts and insights following each practice (two per day, one from each team). Here's links to all of our work so far...

2013 Senior Bowl Preview

(Amateur Hour misses Day 1, chalks it up to being amateurs.)

Day 2: North A.M. Practice

Day 2: South P.M. Practice

Day 3: North A.M. Practice

Day 3: South P.M. Practice


His Dirkness

The Kansas City Chiefs' Competitive Disadvantage?

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My Best & Worst article went up on Arrowhead Pride today, a website that I'm very honored to write for. However, a large portion of a take I was very proud of was edited out (and understandably so, editor Joel Thorman knows what's best his for site better than I do). But I'd like for the take to be heard because I believe it is original, thought-provoking, and relevant.

Here is that excerpt...


Worst way to watch your team go down - Not at full strength. However, it's not the injuries that bother me (although it's somewhat maddening to feel like it's happening AGAIN). Those are just a part of the game though. What really grinds my gears is the suspension of Tamba Hali for his alleged involvement with a soon-to-be decriminalized plant that serves actual medicinal purposes. Look, we all know the Pro Smoke A Bowler was busted for the hippy lettuce in one way or another. Now, regardless of if you think marijuana should be legalized or not (a debate that has zero place in this forum), I'd like you to consider the following scenario:

Imagine Tamba Hali played for the Denver Broncos (ducks), and was caught doing whatever it was that he got caught doing here in Kansas City. What would the penalty have been for the exact same "crime"? To the best of my knowledge, Hali would've received a citation at most, avoided any arrest, and thus, would've foregone any punishment via the NFL. Therefore, aren't Kansas City players at a competitive disadvantage when it comes to their recreational drug habits? Is this fair? It pisses me off to think this may have played a vital role in the Chiefs eventual 0-1 start to this season. End rant.

I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts on this matter via the comments on here, Facebook, or Twitter.

Holla back,

His Dirkness

Kansas City Chiefs' 2012 Season: Game by Game Predictions

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Earlier this week, in my 2012 NFL Predictions, I prognosticated our Kansas City Chiefs to finish this season at 9-7.

{collective readership yawn}

Well, just wait till you see how they get there!!! WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH BUFFALO! AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH NEW ORLEANS! BYAH BYAH BYAH!!!!!

And so forth...

Week 1: Atlanta Falcons - This one's tough. And not only because I personally predicted the Falcons to win the Soup and/er Bowl this year. But, rather, because the Chiefs will be without Tamba Hali (only the most important Chiefs playa), while Brandon Flowers and Derrick Johnson aren't 100% (the next most valuable Chiefs defenders). The Chiefs always have a chance at Arrowhead, but the magic won't be enough this time.

P.S. Cheer for Tony Gonzalez, would ya?

PreDirktion: Atlanta 27, Kansas City 17, 0-1

Week 2: @ Buffalo Bills - I think the Chiefs put their toughness on display right here. The Bills are a popular choice as a surprise team this season, but (hopefully) the Chiefs remember the last time these two met (although I wish I didn't). With a trip to New Orleans looming, this game hovers around must-win status. And I think they're up for it.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 24, Buffalo 20, 1-1

Week 3: @ New Orleans Saints - Nobody expects the Chiefs to win this game. However, the Saints are flooded with turmoil right now. They will be led by an interim to the interim head coach for the first six weeks. They have two very winnable games prior to this game, and a trip to Green Bay awaiting in Week 4. Call me maybe crazy, but I think the Chiefs win this game with a steady dose of the runs.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 28, New Orleans 19, 2-1

Week 4: San Diego Chargers - The Chiefs are sitting pretty, returning home with a 2-1 record, with the NFL world having taken notice of last week's upset. Sound like a classic Chiefs letdown to you? Me too. Heartbreaker of the worst kind.

PreDirktion: San Diego 31, Kansas City 17, 2-2

Week 5: Baltimore Ravens - I hate Baltimore. I'm tired of them. I don't want to look at Joe Flacco's stupid face anymore. The Wire is overrated. The Orioles are gonna blow it. (Ok, one of those is a joke.) This has the feel of a statement game for the Chiefs. It's a game that Baltimore feels they should win, given the playoff debacle of 2010. But I think they're vulnerable this year, and I think the Chiefs help expose that guerilla warfare stylee.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 17, Baltimore 13, 3-2

Week 6: @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - My surprise team of the NFL coming off of their bye week. While most fans have this game circled as a potential road win, I beg to differ. And not because of a feeble effort from the El Jefes. P.S. The Chiefs are 3-17 in their last 20 trips to Florida.

PreDirktion: Tampa Bay 16, Kansas City 13 OT, 3-3

BYE WEEK ~ Dirkness says relax.

Week 8: Oakland Raiders - I'm straight up embarrassed to type these words, but here goes: The Raiders have beaten the Chiefs at Arrowhead five straight times. Fiiiiiive tiiiiiimes. Guess who the Raiders' QB was the last time the Chiefs won at home (answer). Double ve-te-effe! This might be the game I'd most like to see the Chiefs win this season. It's gone on long enough.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 31, Oakland 10, 4-3

Week 9: @ San Diego Chargers - Some Thursday night action. I feel like the Chiefs never win in San Diego. And I certainly never predict them to win there. This year is no different.

PreDirktion: San Diego 30, Kansas City 16, 4-4

Week 10: @ Pittsburgh Steelers - Sweet Haley's revenge! For both sides really. I'm sure Todd hates K.C. as much as we I hate Billy Goat Haley (although I still haven't gotten my chance to kick his dog). Luckily, neither side has Tyler Palko. Another primetime game for the Chiefs means another tough opponent and another raucous crowd. Don't like our chances.

PreDirktion: Pittsburgh 17, Kansas City 9, 4-5

Week 11: Cincinnati Bengals - First time QB at Arrowhead Stadium alert! That still means something right? The Bengals surprised last season, which means they're headed for disappointment this year according to Pythagoras, Lord of the NFL. Who's ready for a mid-afternoon romp?

PreDirktion: Kansas City 27, Cincinnati 10, 5-5

Week 12: Denver Broncos - I saw some classic Peyton Manning highlights on Sportscenter the other day, and I'm happy to report his balls flutter WAY more now than they used to. 80% of him is still scary though. And he's not afraid of Arrowhead Stadium. This game has the feel of an Elway-like heartbreak that'll feel like the end of the season.

PreDirktion: Denver 24, Kansas City 21, 5-6

Week 13: Carolina Panthas - CAAAAAAAMM. CAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!! That is all.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 23, Camolina 10, 6-6

Week 14: @ Cleveland Browns - This team looks bad. Trent Richardson has knee-itis. Nobody knows if Brandon Weeden will hit his prime or retire first. And I can't really name another player of note on their team. Easy road win.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 24, Cleveland 13, 7-6

Week 15: @ Oakland Raiders - I will continue my tradition of the past 8 years and pick us to beat the Raiders in both meetings. I really don't see a way around it.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 17, Oakland 14, 8-6

Week 16: Indianapolis Colts - A shitty time to draw the Colts and Andrew Luck, who won't be playing like a rookie QB come December (if at all). With the Chiefs still in the hunt, this is a game that Arrowhead needs to pull out for the team.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 30, Indianapolis 20, 9-6

Week 17: @ Denver Broncos - According to my prognostiDirkifications, this game could might decide the AFC West (which most likely means the bright lights of Sunday Night Football). As much as my hands want to type "W" here, my mind tells me it's a game the Chiefs lose (but still make the playoffs!!!). Reverse jinx confirmed.

PreDirktion: Denver 20, Kansas City 16, 9-7

Goal is to beat my last season's performance of 10-6.

Fuck Roger Goodell,
His Dirkness

2012 NFL Draft: How The New Chiefs Fit In

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I didn't know whether I wanted to do a write up on the Chiefs draft or not because reading people's draft grades can be a heartwrenchingly boring exercise. Especially when you consider how little we know about all of the newest Chiefs. It makes more sense to do assign grades 2-3 years down the road then the day after the NFL Draft (quick, which team received the most praise immediately following the 2011 Draft?).

However, I went back and read my grades from the Chiefs 2011 draft class, and found my initial opinions on the picks rather intriguing (not to mention my use of pictures!). So I'm running it back, more so for my future enjoyment then your present entertainment. And if that bothers you, take it up with Bad Ass Billy Gunn. Suck it, readers.

1st Round: Dontari Poe, NT, Memphis

I was the only person at my draft dorks party who immediately applauded this pick (sure, they've all come around now...). Even though Poe contradicts nearly every chapter of my NFL Draft philosophy manifesto, I feel like the Chiefs were in great shape to take their chance. The fact that it comes at their biggest position of need is just boom sauce. This dude is a bonafide freak of nature though. He doesn't look a pound over 300, either in a suit or in pads, but tips the scale at 346 pounds. It's unclear to me whether he projects as a straight nose tackle, who's main objective is to eat up blocks, or as more of a versatile presence along the line, ala Haloti Ngata. However, it should be noted that Romeo Crennel specifically told Poe in his draft day phone call that he would be a three down player in KC. The knock on Poe is his lack of production in college, which I optimistically/cleverly/self-deceivingly keep telling myself is because he played against mostly spread offenses while at Memphis. If you're still not convinced then ponder this - Romeo Crennel developed Vince Wilfork. He wanted Dontari Poe. Are you smarter than Romeo Crennel?

Tidbit: To give you an idea of what type of athlete we are looking at, Poe won high school state titles in the shot put as a junior and senior, and another in the discus as a senior.

Grade: B

2nd Round: Jeff Allen, G, Illinois

Meet Ryan Lilja's future replacement. Under Scott Pioli, the Chiefs have drafted Jon Asamoah (early in the 3rd), Rodney Hudson (in the 2nd), and now Jeff Allen. Asamoah sat as a rookie, then took over Brian Waters' vacated starting spot. Hudson sat as a rookie, and is poised to take over for Casey Wiegmann at center in 2012. Allen, who played tackle at Illinois but projects as an NFL guard, will fulfill backup duties in 2012, and then take over for Lilja, who's contract expires after this season, in 2013. I'm not going to pretend to know much about Allen's on-the-field abilities. Seems solid though.

Tidbit: Allen started 47 consecutive games at Illinois, so if nothing else he is durable.

Grade: A-

3rd Round: Donald Stephenson, T, Oklahoma

Now here's a pick that I don't understand. The Chiefs have their two tackles of the future in Branden Albert and Eric Winston. With the loss of Barry Richardson, the tackle position was in need of some depth. But Stephenson is considered a "developmental player" which is a fancy word for what I like to call "future bust." If the pick was made to shore up depth, then why not take a player who is ready to play now, but has a lower upside? This pick has many people pondering the future of Branden Albert with the Chiefs, who's contract is up following this season. I don't think Albert is going anywhere. Might be nothing more than an expensive insurance pick. I predict he never sees significant playing time with the Chiefs.

Tidbit: He attended Blue Springs High School.

Grade: F

4th Round: Devon Wylie, WR, Fresno St.

I loved what I saw from this dude in his post-pick highlights on ESPN (even though his punt return TD against Nebraska was featured). He seems like the prototypical slot WR who can find holes in the zone and immediately turn up field to gain easy yards. Or maybe Chiefs fans are just a bit too obsessed with finding their own Wes Welker. Wylie could also help in the return game, perhaps with Javier Arenas taking on a more vital role in the secondary this season. It ain't all milk and cookies with Wylie though, who couldn't stay healthy throughout college, missing roughly half of his games due to injury.

Tidbit: A quote: "There was just the general sense that Wylie did well at the combine." Said by, none other than, Devon Wylie.

Grade: C+

5th Round: De'Quan Menzie, S, Alabama

You hear De'Quan Menzie and you immediately think that this guy's got it all. An apostrophe, the first name prefix, a Q, and a Z! Menzie was a damn fine football player at 'Bama, but was kind of a man without a position heading into the NFL. He played CB in college, but ran his 40 time in the 4.7's. That might work out perfectly for the Chiefs, who actually have a position for this man without a position. Yes, the coveted Jon McGraw spot (which he was able to man with his 6.2 speed), a sort of LB/CB/S hybrid who is asked to help in the running game and cover opposing Tight Ends and slot WR's. De'Quan might earn himself some playing time as a rookie.

Tidbit: Menzie ranked 80th on Mike Mayock's Top 100 list of 2012 Draft prospects. The Chiefs snagged him with the 146th pick.

Grade: A-

6th Round: Cyrus Gray, RB, Texas A&M

I thought the Chiefs might pick up a RB with such uncertainty at the position. Charles coming off his injury. Peyton Hillis only signed for one year. Dexter McCluster doing Dexter McCluster things. Gray was solid for all four years of his career at A&M. Can catch the rock. Always good to ingest fresh legs into your backfield.

Tidbit: Gray rushed for 1,975 yards and 28 touchdowns as a senior at Desoto High School in Texas. As a quarterback. Surprised he didn't go Top 10 alongside Tannehill.

Grade: A

7th Round: Jerome Long, DE, San Diego St.

Jerome Long....Jerome Long....nope, doesn't ring a bell. My sources tell me he's a mix between Jerome Bettis and Howie Long. I suspect he's the next Gabe Miller. Who? Exactly.

Tidbit: He wrestled in high school...as the character Golddust.

Grade: C-

7th Round: Junior Hemingway, WR, Michigan

I knew who this guy was which was neat. He probably didn't get much of a chance because Michigan didn't run anything resembling an actual offense last season. He was a big play guy for them, averaging 20.6 yards per catch. I could see this guy catching on.

Tidbit: Fuck Michigan.

Grade: B+

Overall GPA: 2.66 (C+)

Chiefs Can't Go Wrong Tonight

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Attttttttt lastttttttttt....

Draft Day, bitches. And to think I considered myself a big Draft dork up until the days of Twitter. Now I see what REAL Draft dorks look like. So I'll have to settle on being a Selection Sunday dork (my living room is STILL scattered with brackets). And 90's wrestling dork (the character of Mankind has aged gracefully).

The 2012 NFL Draft has been strange for me. I've heard upwards of 10 names thrown the Chiefs way in mock drafts, but don't have a strong opinion toward any of them really. With no interest in being held personally accountable, I choose to blame Scott Pioli. Nothing feels like a need for this team. It's a selection of luxury. Do you want to make this group stronger, or do you want more confidence in a specific sub-package? Lets hope the Chiefs scouts are earning their cheddar, because the Chiefs are in position to take whatever player they like the most tonight across a wide spectrum of positions.

Lets take a look at who the Chiefs are most likely to target with the 11th pick in tonight's Draft:

~David DeCastro, OG, Stanford - Alright, I'm digging the double capitals in the last name. DeCastro would make the offensive line an immediate strength for this team. All five starters would be young (27, 22, 22, 23, and 28 to be exact), and the chance to grow together could make them potentially dominant in the not so distant future. DeCastro is considered the safest choice in this NFL Draft (rumors are he's so good that Andrew Luck might slip to round 3). Why not him? Because you can hide a mediocre offensive guard. Because Ryan Lilja's play should improve with the switch to a zone blocking scheme (what they ran in Indy). Because he might have a little Ryan Sims in him (playing alongside another potential first round pick in OT Jonathan Martin).

~Mark Barron, S, Alabama - This dude's all the rage right now. In fact, Kansas City's pick might center around Barron, who is skyrocketing up boards as we speak. Completely off the radar a week ago, Barron is now being projected as the Chiefs pick from multiple people (Todd McShay). This is eerily similar to what happened in 2009 with Tyson Jackson and the Chiefs. However, it is just as likely that this is a front put out by KC, who most people speculate are looking to trade down. How would Barron fit? He'd basically play Jon McGraw's spot in the nickel package that warms Romeo's heart so. It is a sub-package, but the Chiefs are in nickel on roughly 50% of defensive snaps. Why not him? Because there doesn't seem to be much upside in the future. While providing depth and insurance for Eric Berry, he would have to steal a job from Kendrick Lewis to play full time. While he might be great in the short term, I question the long term solution of selecting Barron.

~Luke Kuechly, ILB, Boston College / Dont'a Hightower, ILB, Alabama - Potential replacements for the overachieving Jovan Belcher, who I like. Kuechly is more of the All-American who will try hard and do it all (a rich man's Jovan Belcher). Hightower is the hard ass that'll rough you up, boy (he also gives my buddy Ryan boners at night). Belcher's ceiling is low due to his physical limitations, so this would be an upgrade with either player. Playing alongside DJ (who excels in space), this spot needs to be stout against the run. However, playing alongside Tamba and Houston (who provide nothing in coverage), this spot needs to excel in coverage as well. There's no question the defense needs to improves it's pass coverage over the middle, repeatedly getting burned by Tight Ends the last few seasons. Why not them? I like the idea of keeping an underdog on defense like Belcher. Gives the team heart. Kuechly might be gone by pick #11 and Hightower just might slide into Round 2 (if Ryan was a good boy this year).

~Ryan Tannehill, QB, Texas A&M - Alright, now we're talking! Look, I think Tannehill will be just as bad as everybody else, but I can't deny that I would be awfully excited if the Chiefs show any signs of moving on from Matt Cassel. I really don't think this is a possibility, but it would be ballsy. And entertaining. Those aren't exactly the priorities of Pioli's Chiefs though. Why not him? Have you seen him play? Texas A&M went 6-6 with loads of talent around him. He played bad against every good defense he faced. Why are we even talking about this guy? What has he done to earn first round status? To be fair, he reminds me of Jay Cutler, who I was confident would bust in your face, and I guess he's awight.

~Dontari Poe, NT, Memphis - The biggest need for this team is the Nose Tackle position. Poe measures up to what you would want at NT, but I don't know of a single person who isn't terrified to draft this dude, who produced next to nothing at a small school. Why not him? On the NCAA Football 2012 game, Poe was rated a 67. NEXT!

~Throng of D-Linemen, DE, Trench So Hard University - Let me break down the idea of selecting a defensive end, followed by a thought or two on each of the potential players. Neither Glenn Dorsey or Tyson Jackson will return to the Chiefs in 2013 under their current contract. Dorsey is set to be a free agent and his return is questionable because he seems to fit a 4-3 defense better than a 3-4. Jackson is set to make 14.7 million in 2013 (which can be seen here, a beautiful site for any Chiefs fan, bookmark this shit), a number the Chiefs won't carry (either restructured or released). Couple that with the loss of my boy, Wallace Gilberry, this offseason (if a 4-3 team used him right, he could put up double digit sacks, I promise you) and the Chiefs are damn near anorexic along the defensive front. Not to mention the fact the Chiefs pass rush fell on hard times once again last season (30th in the NFL in sacks). That number isn't Hali and Houston's fault, who combined for 17.5, and should be a force to be reckoned beginning immediately. But the interior pass rush is non-existent. While Jackson and Dorsey are stout against the run, they bring nothing to the table as far as pass rush. Hopefully, Allen Bailey is able to develop, but providing more help along the line might be the team's top priority this weekend. Why not DL? No chance he'll start in 2012, barring injury. The talent pool is relatively deep (expect a DL in round 2 if not round 1). Here's a look at some potential first round DL...

~Fletcher Cox, DE, Mississippi State - The highest rated player probably won't last until #11. If he does, I expect him to be the pick.

~Quinton Coples, DE, North Carolina - Nick Wright brought him into the picture on yesterday's show. I hear he doesn't fit our scheme, but as soon as the words "5-tech" enter the conversation, I become as disinterested as Lamar Odom.

~Michael Brockers, DE, LSU - Heard almost nothing about him, because I think people are that afraid of selecting yet another LSU D-lineman. Can't blame them. He's huge though, but doesn't seem to generate a pass rush.

~Courtney Upshaw, DE, Alabama - Presumably too small to play in the 3-4, but he compares favorably to Gilberry. He would provide pass rush help, racking up 9.5 sacks last season. More of a trade down in the first round kinda guy.

~Jerel Worthy, DE, Michigan St - Prototypical size for a 3-4 DE. 3.5 sacks last season. More of a second round possibility.

~Devon Still, DE, Penn St - This is a dude I like a lot. He terrorized Nebraska last season, blowing up play after play in the backfield. Totaled 4.5 sacks last season, as well as an outstanding 17 tackles for loss. Got a feeling about him. This is officially my boy.

Final prediction: I'll say the Chiefs look as hard as they can to trade back, but ultimately don't find any partners. They want to address defensive line the most, but without proper value at the #11 spot, they end up selecting Stanford G David DeCastro. Expect defensive line in the second round.

His Draftness

There Isn't Just One Way to Win in the NFL

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If you're like me, you've spent your past four months' days off waking up around 2, flipping on Nick Wright and scouring Twitter and Arrowhead Pride for the latest Chiefs news, opinions on how the Chiefs could turn (sh)it around, and updates on Brodie Croyle's marriage (no way that lasts right?). Well, you might find yourself as perturbed as I am listening to the exhaustive rhetoric that the only way to win in the NFL is to field an elite QB. I do not believe this to be true. Here's why...

There are all kinds of ways to win in the NFL. Why? Because, by definition, you only have to be one point better than your opponent on that given day. Bad quarterbacks win, good quarterbacks lose, bad defenses trounce, good defenses get trounced, yada yada yada. There's no proven formula for success here.

That's the lesson of this Divisional Round weekend.

~The San Francisco 49ers advanced to Championship Weekend behind a Guinness defense, an unblockable force in Justin Smith, a freak of a tight end, some questionable playcalling, and an amazing display of heart from their QB (who nobody, including me, thought could get it done when it mattered).

~The New England Patriots advanced to Championship Weekend by jumping to an early 14 point lead on a team who, according to most people, is quarterbacked by a 4'9 Jewish carpenter, over-celebrating every defensive play made against that hairy man in sandals (given, it was the first time many of these defenders had actually made a play), and by whipping their Gronks out and slinging them around. And their QB is alright.

~The Baltimore Ravens advanced to Championship Weekend by slowing down the league's best RB in the second half (Ray Lewis and Arian Foster's postgame, futbol-style trading of jerseys was the coolest thing that happened this weekend), growing lucky handlebar mustaches (how else do you explain playing TJ Yates in an NFL playoff game?), and taking advantage of two huge breaks (muffed punt and Yates' conundrum numero uno) that they're also gonna need come next week.

~The New York Giants advanced to Championship Weekend behind a QB who hangs in the pocket as well as anyone, playmaking wide receivers, a defensive secondary that dominated the game long before their feared pass rush did (their defense is built similarly to the Chiefs), outlasting the referees, and taking advantage of a 15-1 (seriously, how did the Packers go 15-1?) team that peaked much too early in the season. (Side note - Brother Eli's success this postseason could provide even more drive/inspiration for Brother Peyton come next year, yet another reason I hope the Chiefs make a play for him.)

The song remains the same - How do you win in the NFL?

The most simplistic answer, and the one that makes my ears bleed, is to employ a great quarterback. However, this might be the most difficult of all strategies to successfully pull off. Elite quarterbacks are an endangered species. By most accounts, there are precisely five ON THE ENTIRE PLANET.

I know some people would like the process to be as simple as losing a bunch of games, getting a top draft pick, and then BAM...Eli Manning (yeah, I said it). It's not though. Even if it were, ask Dan Marino if that's the only necessary ingredient for a gourmet Bowl of Sup.

So some teams get there with great QB play, some teams get their by not making mistakes, some teams get their with an intimidating defense, some teams advance purely because of circumstances or a favorable matchup.

So what's the key then? How do you build a winner if you can't just turn over a rock and find a great QB? And how does that apply to our Chiefs? Well...

• Build around what you DO have (great defense, potential defensive mastermind, dynamic WR's, and hopefully a great RB in God Jam Charles).
• Take what you can get when you can get it (yes, Kyle Orton is eons better than Matt Cassel, a fact I feel so strongly about that I stood on top of a mountain and screamed it at the top of my lungs - IN DENVER, no less). 
• Keep your known valuable quantities (Dwayne Bowe and Brandon Carr are 2 of the 5 most important Chiefs on the roster right now - don't let money be an issue).
• Keep improving the team (beef up that defensive line, build some depth along the offensive line, snag a new tight end, add another RB to the mix).
• Take a chance on one of them danged endangered species (you never know when one might turn up, so keep your eyes open and have a contract ready. That means finding new homes for the domesticated pets - and bring your playbook with you, Tyler/Matt.)

We're not as far off as you fear, folks. The Kansas City Chiefs have a good team. We've seen it in bits and pieces. They can win, and I think they can win next year. There are no dominant teams in the NFL right now like we saw in New England and Indianapolis five years ago (and if there is, then we just manhandled them last month). So keep your heads up Chiefs Nation, ignore this phone tapping story that will be forgotten by the first big snowstorm, and enjoy the final three games of The Beautiful Game (that is, the NFL sans pass interference - notice how it wasn't called this weekend? Mmmm, poetry).

His Dirkness

Chiefs/Raiders Rivalry Video Breakdown

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First, the Oakland Raiders pull off a rarely seen midseason blockbuster trade for QB Carson Palmer, then the news that he is projected to start this Sunday against the Chiefs, and I think we have ourselves the top billing game of the NFL weekend.

There's also the celebratory fact that the Kansas City Chiefs are playing a meaningful game in 2011. A win on Sunday and the Halloween Monday Nighter against the San Diego Chargers becomes the hottest ticket in town (I'm gonna go as 13-year old Andy Reid).

To get in the spirit of Raider Week, I began watching videos on YouTube and came across this beauty entitled "Chiefs vs. Raiders: The History of the Rivalry" which seems to have aired last year on NFL Network (not sure how I missed this). I've decided to give this video the Sports Guy style breakdown that it truly deserves.

Here's the vid...



0:00 - The song for this video is super awesome. Does anything beat the music for NFL Films videos? Similar to any video being funny to the Benny Hill Theme Song, I think you could put any football video to this music and it becomes unequivocally riveting. I think I'll make this song my alarm for Sunday morning afternoon.

0:13 - Of all the hits in this video that would be declared illegal in today's NFL, this completely unnecessary flying clothesline off the top turnbuckle may have been the most illegal.

0:23 - This is the result of adults played the children's game Red Rover.

0:36 - "The Kansas City Chiefs: They were a team that projected the image that Hank Stram wanted to project - A dapper outfit." This is a pretty cool reputation.

0:42 - John Madden smoking a cigarette on the sideline of an NFL game. Has anybody else dominated three aspects of the sporting world as well as Jaaaaahn? His winning percentage as a head coach ranks 2nd all time. He popularized such words as "Boom!", "Whap!", "Bang!" and "Doink!" as an announcer (thanks Wiki). And yet everybody born after 1990 will remember him as The Godfather of sports video games. WAIT A SECOND...is that a hooter he's smoking? I'm becoming a bigger Madden fan by the minute.

0:50 - 0:57 - This series of hits on former Chiefs QB Lenny Dawson is in dire need of a few Wilhelm screams.

1:00 - Is that an interview with an active Kenny Stabler? He's a damn drunken bumpkin. I imagine him wearing Hillbilly Jim overalls during that interview with a pint of Old Crow in the breast pocket.

1:08 - And clearly Stabler is racist...

1:10 - What's with all the clothesline hits? Did those get outlawed at some point and time or just go out of style?

1:20 - Calm down...PHIL

1:28 - I distinctly remember my dad owning that same hat that sits upon Marty Schottenheimer's head. I guess the NFL didn't charge $40 for anything players or coaches wore back then because my dad wouldn't have paid that.

1:47 - "And the Raiders would make up their own rules" as we see Al Davis sporting an all white jumpsuit.

1:55 - What's the context of "the bastards got 3 points"? Was Marty encouraging the defense because they held them to a field goal? Was he pissed that his defense allowed them to even score 3 points? Or was he referring to his own offense as the bastards and thought that 3 points was enough for his defense?

2:02 - 2:24 - My love for obscure 90's Chiefs players is in sensory overload. Bill Maas, Dave Kreig, JJ Birden, Todd McNair, Leslie O'Neal, Chester McGlockton, Bam Morris (I demand to know where Donnell Bennett and Dino Hackett are). I almost cried right along with Marty.

2:17 - The Oakland QB right there is Donald Hollas. I thought I knew of every starting NFL QB of that era, especially within the division, but I have never heard of this dude. He went to Rice. And he led the Raiders to four straight wins in 1998! However, he threw 6 INT's in his final start. Three months later, the Raiders signed Rich Gannon.

2:29 - Greg Hill sighting!!!

2:51 - Documented proof that Thomas Jones can gain more than 5 yards in a single run.

2:57 - Darren McFadden leads the best rushing attack in the NFL against Kansas City this week. The Chiefs run defense has been secretly awesome this season (especially in the past three games). Shut down Oakland this week and they are officially for real. I feel you need to be dominant in one aspect of the game to be a real contender and the Chiefs lost that when Jamaal Charles went down. In other words, you'll learn everything you need to know about this team on Sunday. But first, one last brawl...

3:03 - Who knew Lenny D was so wily on the move like that? He's got wheels.

3:14 - Definitive punch to the groin.

3:18 - Look at Raider #84. I can't make out his name but I'm sure it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. Perhaps he needs to have a sit down with overstimulated Phil from the 1:20 mark.

3:24 - Clearly the Chiefs won that fight.

Go Chiefs,
His Dirkness

Should the Chiefs Consider Jimmy Clausen?

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We've slowly but surely come to the realization that Matt Cassel isn't the right quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. While his heart is in the right place, God's plan for him is not. He's killing us all softly, one dump off to SafeDex at a time.

So I begin to look towards who could be the next quarterback for the Chiefs. There is no more important position in sports (although the goalie in hockey sparks an interesting debate), and there's no better time than right now for Kansas City, with a bevy of rising talent on the team (even if 1/3 of them are nursing torn ACL's). Find the right quarterback and the franchise could be set up for the next 10 years.

My biggest fear right now is that the Chiefs are bad, but not quite bad enough to earn themselves the #1 pick in the NFL Draft, and declare victory in the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes (although these next two weeks will show just how serious of contenders we really are).

But before I swan dive into the NFL Draft pool, and convince myself that Landry Jones and his mustache could make even a decent NFL quarterback, I wanted to look around the rest of the NFL for an available, young quarterback. Which brought me to Jimmy Clausen. The former Golden Domer was drafted in the 2nd round in 2010, but will never sniff the field in Carolina now because of The People's Champion, Cam Newton.

So Jimmy Clausen is definitely available, but would he be worth giving a shot? Lets take a closer look...

Clausen's 2010 stats: 13 games, 10 starts, 1-9 record. 157-299 (52.5%), 1,558 yards (5.2 YPA), 3 TD, 9 INT, 9 fumbles. Click here for his game to game stats.

Obviously, those are some rather putrid numbers. However, it was the kid's rookie season and he was throwing the ball to David Gettis, Brandon LaFell, and Steve Smith (at 50% effort). John Fox was a lame duck coach, and there offensive coordinator was somebody named Jeff Davidson (who's past history was as an offensive line coach - sound familiar Chiefs fans?).

Clausen might not be the slam dunk that Luck is, but you can't expect to find a quarterback like that already in the league. You'd have to take a chance on a guy and coach him up. I'd feel stronger about either side of this argument if I had actually watched Clausen play at the professional level, but I have not (I spent my time last year actually focusing on my team - novel concept, eh?).

Jimmer will definitely get his shot in the league at some point. Quarterbacks with talent inevitably do. It would be real interesting to see what he could do with some playing time this year if Cam were to get nicked up at any point and time. Clausen could earn himself an immediate chance with a good game or two.

Conclusion: I'd definitely consider the option of acquiring Jimmy Clausen, and would be interested to see what the Panthers asking price was, however I don't think I would pull the trigger on a quarterback that hasn't shown much at the pro level, at a time when rookie quarterbacks are performing better than ever.

Although, this post was written more for the point of creating discussion on the topic, so I'd love to hear if any of you think Jimmy Clausen is worth giving a shot?

His Dirkness

Chiefs/Bills Rewatch Thoughts

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Enough time had passed, and with a little help from my green friends, I was able to stomach a rewatch of the Kansas City Chiefs opening day massacre. I had a multitude of thoughts from watching the game, as anybody who follows me on Twitter noticed around 3 am last night. And since I'm too unmotivated to organize them, I'm simply going to regurgitate them to you all on here.

But first, some of the broader points I took away after the rewatch:

~Everybody is being too harsh on Todd Haley. Yes, this game completely falls on him. His preseason plan completely backfired, and the team, and the young players in particular, were unprepared to take the field on Sunday. But the dude was coach of the year last year. He took us from nowhere to the playoffs in two seasons, so give him some due. The biggest knock on him is a horrific preseason, which, in the grand scheme of things, seems kinda silly. Now, if this effort continues throughout the entirety of this season, I'll be singing a different tune. But for now, I'll back off.

~People aren't being harsh enough on Matt Cassel and Bill Muir. In the heat of the game, I failed to realize the ridiculousness of the offensive gameplan. I'm not sure if they were worried about Cassel's injured ribs, but the number of short passes was mind boggling. The offensive line actually did a decent job, but Cassel looked completely incapable of pushing the ball down field. This can't continue (And yes, I realize the hiring of Muir falls on Haley, and that is most certainly a negative, but I choose to keep a long term open mind on the head coach).

Now to the quick hitta's:

• The Chiefs best play of the opening 4 of the game was getting destroyed on a 9 yard run
• Miss a tackle, take a seat #YoureUpFirstSheffield (Could not believe the excessive missed tackling. This falls under the team being unprepared, and/or lack of testicular fortitude)
• Javier did absoutely nothing on their TD. This guy has yet to make one positive play on defense in his career. Am I wrong? (I actually was wrong, Arenas put a good hit on Fitzpatrick later on in the game)
• 2nd kickoff: Dexter hesitates, #Chiefs hold, Bills facemask. And it goes to spot of Chiefs penalty? Is that a correct call? @MikePereira (Mike still hasn't gotten back to me)
• Bill Muir's first time calling plays in his career. You shouldn't be hiring a first timer unless he's 35 or younger. (Close to moving on from Muir after one game)
• Chiefs who have responded to early adversity: Leonard Pope, Jamaal Charles (list grew to include Tamba Hali, and that's it really)
• Cassel REALLY wanted to hit Terrence Copper on that slant. Cassel takes abominably bad sack. #Thesearethedaysofourlives (opening plays by our offense)
• If I were a Raiders or a Broncos fans I would call us the Kansas City McGraws (hope this doesn't catch on)
• Replacing Eric Berry with Jon McGraw is like replacing Scarlett Johansson with Glen Rice (Scar Jo nudes were a little disappointing. Frankly, she seems hotter with her clothes on)
• Ryan Fitzpatrick > Jay Fiedler (Ivy Leaguers)
• Why so many rollouts in Chiefs gameplan? Did they run any successful rollouts last year? (Really didn't understand the continuous Popey rollouts)
• That 3rd and 7 swing to Jamaal was maybe the worst play I've ever seen. 4 Bills running at him unblocked. FireMuir.com? (starting to see my turn on Muir)
• Gilberry pressure. Carr breakup. +1 a piece
• I couldn't yell Fuck Shawne Merriman loud enough on Sunday #Oneofthebettermemories
• 3rd down pass to Bowe was PI. Defender grabs his arm. Should be called way more than tiny body contact. #Ihateyoupassinterference
• BIG PLAY FROM JON MCGRAW! #NoReally
• Big 3rd and 6 - McGraw 1 on 1 with Something Nelson. #ThatOneIsOnCrennel
• Fitzpatrick absolutely pinpoints 2 passes for Bills to score 2nd touchdown (Chiefs were playing good defense at this point outside of the Caucasian Invasion at safety)
• Richardson destroyed on a draw, minus 1
• Nick Barnett sure would look nice in red #32millaintsobadClark
• If Jake O'Connell would've dropped that pass, he would've become the quickest cut player in NFL history. #Grammar
• How could Leonard Pope celebrate after clearly not catching the TD?
• Interesting shot of Todd Haley screaming into headset after Pope's overturned TD. Can't make out what he's saying. Tried over and over. (Even tried slow motion)
• Cassel went down like a pocket vagina in his first 2 sacks (Yes, I'm running with that nickname if this season falls apart)
• Cassel had a terrible game in Week 1 last season. And the final week. He struggles with firsts and lasts.
• I feel like it has been an overreaction, in large, to Week 1. Lack of response is worrisome. Perhaps more telling of mentality than talent. (This may have been my biggest takeaway from the game. A lot of the team's shortcomings were due to circumstances that you will not see every week. The most troubling part was the lack of response from 95% of the team. They were completely unable to man up.)
• Our pass rush isn't getting it done. Interior push is nonexistent.
• Kendrick just got punked (Coulda said this 4 or 5 times. Possibly the most disappointing player of the game)
• Gilberry with 2 first half pressures. You still my boy @Gilberry92! (He knows, he knows)
• Appeared to have a reverse called on the kick return there. Never got close to happening. (At least we were trying some things to mix it up)
• So we have no idea if Jamaal actually fumbled that football? (Camera angles were completely unable to capture when the ball came out)
• Flowers becoming a little too vulnerable to a soft push off (B-Flow either has to bulk up or play more physical because he got pushed around a little bit)
• I see absolutely nobody even attempting to rally the Chiefs in the first hlaf. Who are the leaders on this team? (I only feel comfortable saying that Tamba Hali was trying to fire up his teammates during this debacle)
• No reason for Cassel to rush that play before the 2 minute warning. -1 Time management.
• Just ran our 2nd and goal play for Jake O'Connell (-1 for Muir)
• Chiefs only touchdown was inches away from being a pick 6. And you thought 41-7 was bad...
• Piscitelli cheering for himself way too much on his only good play
• Big play - Bills 13 yards on quick slant to get to 3rd and 1. Chiefs not allowed to add more points before half.
• 3rd and 1 perfect display of Chiefs awfulness. DJ missed tackle. Just out of Tamba's reach. Flowers gets manhandled.
• Gannon almost at a loss for words after our multitude of dumpoffs to Pope (Went on quite a rant talking about how you rarely see teams call the exact same play repeatedly. Muir.)
• Master Kim alright! (If you know, you know)
• Tamba trying to get the team fired up. Noted. (See, I told ya)
• Horrible coverage from Kendrick (Rinse. Repeat.)
• Encouraged by the play I've seen from Charles and Tamba (Less worried about Charles after this game)
• Belcher with a good play on the goal line.
• @getnickwright Your boy Amon Gordon was a manimal on a couple goal line plays in 3rd Q (Look for more playing time out of this man)
• I'd fine the Chiefs defensive players for giving up that TD after 2 false starts (And give it to season ticket holders)
• Pretty sure tight end was wide open because Kendrick blew his coverage (Either he or Javier, couldn't pinpoint)
• Thought for sure Jamaal was seriously injured on the awkward hit he took (Would've been the icing on the cake)
• 3 Offensive PI's the Bills got away with by my count. Probably why we lost.
• Just noticed the KC Wolf dressed up like a cheerleader. Its pretty disturbing. (He looked like Sabby Piscitelli)
• Even tho Flowers got beat some, I feel good about how he played
• Is there any doubt LeRon McClain hates being a Chief right now?
• The tackling was piss poor. The rookies looked shell shocked. Both due to being unprepared. This falls on Haley.
• Studebaker didnt really play at all on defense. Why?
• Bills Chiefs got so out of hand that Rich Gannon was talkin Super Bowl rings with Ryan Fitzpatrick (Got to lovvvvve The Fitz)

Fin

10 Thoughts on the Kansas City CHIEFS

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My official Kansas City Chiefs preview comes to you in the form of a grab bag consisting of my 10 biggest thoughts, worries, qualms, predictions, hunches, juxtapositions, and if you're lucky, maybe some conjectures. But first, go ahead and play this song throughout the reading of this piece. If it ends, just restart it. Trust me.



1. This Buffalo Bills opening game scares the dickens out of me. In case you haven't read what I've been saying about the Bills this offseason (here and here), I think they are very dangerous. The Chiefs are still reeling from their shaky preseason, and the Bills might be extra motivated after last season's last second loss (not to mention, Chan Gailey probably hates Todd Haley). However, if the Chiefs were to drop their home opener, I don't like their chances to win at Detroit the next week. At all. And then you're  staring down an 0-2 record with a trip to San Diego looming. Those are season over circumstances there. So the moral of this horror story is - Don't lose to Buffalo!

2. People saying this is a make or break year for Todd Haley are dead wrong. I'm looking at you Randy Covitz! And you Sports Guy (who had this to say in his NFL preview: "Relatively Bold Prediction No. 5: By April 2012, Todd Haley will be the offensive coordinator for the New York Jets"). Look you may not like how Haley approached this preseason (nor do you probably like anything that is unconventional), but he has earned himself a down season after last year. If the Chiefs underperform this season, then he can plop down on the hot seat for the 2012 season, but unless the bottom falls out this season, and the Chiefs go something like 3-13, Todd Haley's job will be safe.

3. I'm worried about Jamaal Charles. And nobody else seems to be, which worries me even more. Look, I've said it before, and I'll say it again (just watch), Running Backs come and go all the time in the NFL. And it happens just like that. One minute you are Chris Johnson (and he'll suck in 2 years) and the next you're Edgerrin James. Or Shaun Alexander. Or Steve Slaton (perhaps the scariest comparison - nearly 1,300 yards as a rookie and barely over 500 yards in the two years since). The easiest way to metamorphose from good to bad is by getting injured. Or getting paid. One of which happened, and one of which I see in my nightmares. Luckily, we have, who I believe to be, the best long term mind in the NFL in Scott Pioli, who seems to be taking the necessary measures to keep Charles healthy for a long God Jam time.

4. Dwayne Bowe takes "The Leap." Last year he took a step and became D-Pro Bowe. I think he takes that next step this season. I'm not sure his stats will necessarily reflect the leap, but consistency is a big part of taking that next step. I expect Bowe to be considered a Top 5 NFL Wide Receiver by the end of the 2011 season. He's in a contract year, which may have played a big part in his offseason conditioning (something the Chiefs will have to take into evaluation following this season when he becomes a free agent). He has looked simply unstoppable this preseason, catching everything thrown his way, and I expect that to continue into the regular season.

5. Charlie Weis was the biggest loss of the offseason. Literally and schematically (oh wait, Shaun Smith is bigger, I think...). Since Chaz Weis announced he was leaving for oranger pastures, Matt Cassel and the passing offense haven't played well against an NFL starting defense. It's possible that the Chiefs got the services of a top flight Offensive Coordinator for only 15 games. And it's also possible that Todd Haley is to blame for that (speculative personality beef). In comes Jim Zorn (who I believe in) and Bill Muir (very skeptical), who takes over as the play caller for the Chiefs. They'll become the immediate scape goats, if my fears of Weis being more important than we're all hoping he was come true.

6. The defense is dependent on the long term health of Kelly Gregg. He appears to be fully healthy right now. But he will turn 35 this season. And his snaps were cut down considerably last season in Baltimore. If Gregg goes down, the Chiefs are forced to turn to 6th rounder Jerrell Powe as a starting Nose Tackle. POWE (right in the kisser) has looked good against 2nd and 3rd teamers in the preseason, but asking him to handle the load as a rookie is a bit of a stretch. And with the Chiefs run defense struggling enough as is, I hate to imagine what it would be like without The Oggre. That is why we all need to pray to 8 pound, 6 ounce baby Jesus that Gregg is lucky enough to last 16 games this season.

7. The defense needs a definitive leader to step up. It could be Eric Berry, Brandon Flowers, Derrick Johnson, or Tamba Hali (my order of likelihood), but I want an individual player for the team to rally around. I want a player that everybody can look to when things are going bad, and they'll get a sense of reassurance. The Ravens have Ray Lewis. The Steelers have Troy Polamalu. The Packers have Charles Woodson. The Patriots had Tedy Bruschi. One look in any of their eyes, and you knew his teammates were completely prepared to respond to adversity. My guess is that Urrrrrr Burrrrrrr (ahem, Eric Berry) steps into that role as this season progresses.

8. I'm atleast mildly intrigued by the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes. I'm not gonna root for the Chiefs to lose all of their games. Atleast, not yet. But if the Chiefs fall out of the playoff hunt early on in the season (read: worst case scenario up at #1), I would atleast entertain the idea of tanking the rest of the season in order to win the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes. I think the Chiefs are set up with young talent across the board right now, but Matt Cassel will never be more than an above average Quarterback, and if you watched the Green Bay - New Orleans season opener, you saw first hand what an elite QB can bring to the table. If the Chiefs were able to acquire an elite level QB (and I think there's a very high chance Luck becomes one), then they would become a league powerhouse for the next 10 seasons (and now I have to quit typing before I convince myself this is a good idea from the get go).

9. The Chiefs will only make the playoffs if Jared Gaither is successfully inserted into the starting offensive line. When predicting a team's fate, especially your own team, I look to the most clear cut reasoning possible. Right now the Chiefs offensive line is piss poor. And Matt Cassel doesn't handle getting pressured very well. That's the absolute easiest observation to make about this team. Barry Richardson not only seems to have regressed this offseason/preseason, he seems to have regressed hard. The only chance at improvement I see right now is Jared Gaither, who must play, and play well for the Chiefs to repeat last year's success.

10. The Kansas City Chiefs will go 9-7. Click here to see how.

His Dirkness

Predicting the Kansas City Chiefs 2011 Season

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Game-by-game predictions of the Kansas City Chiefs 2011 season....

Week 1~vs Buffalo W 24-17

Week 2~@ Detroit L 31-17

Week 3~@ San Diego L 34-13


Week 4~vs Minnesota W 21-17


Week 5~@ Indianapolis W 19-13


BYE WEEK


Week 7~@Oakland W 21-13

Week 8~vs San Diego L 27-20

Week 9~vs Miami W 28-10

Week 10~vs Denver W 35-31

Week 11~@ New England L 26-14

Week 12~vs Pittsburgh L 24-21

Week 13~@ Chicago W 13-10

Week 14~@ NY Jets L 14-13

Week 15~vs Green Bay W 31-28

Week 16~vs Oakland W 20-14

Week 17~@ Denver L 30-20

Final Record: 9-7 (3rd in the AFC West)

2011 NFL Power Rankings - Preseason

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No introduction necessary, lets just rank em boyeeeeee...

The Paul Thomas Anderson 3-named Fav's:
1. New Orleans Saints
2. Green Bay Packers
3. New England Patriots
4. San Diego Chargers

The Annuals:
5. Pittsburgh Steelers
6. Baltimore Ravens
7. Philadelphia Eagles

The Pretenders:
8. New York Jets
9. Atlanta Falcons

The X(-Ray) Factor:
10. Indianapolis Colts

The Little Lebowski Urban (under)Achievers:
11. Houston Texans
12. Dallas Cowboys

The Overpicked Surprise Team:
13. Detroit Lions

The Potential Surprises:
14. Cleveland Browns
15. Minnesota Vikings
16. Buffalo Bills

The One Year Kevin Arnold Wonder Years:
17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
18. Kansas City Chiefs

The Jackie O'Nassis Has Beens:
19. New York Giants
20. Chicago Bears

The Quin Snyder D-League:

21. St Louis Rams

22. Arizona Cardinals

23. San Francisco 49ers

24. Seattle Seahawks

The Potential Harry Houdini Spit On Her Back Surprise Team:

25. Denver Broncos

The Bob Loblaws:

26. Oakland Raiders

27. Tennessee Titans

The White Flaggers:

28. Jacksonville Jaguars

The Spergon Wynn Division:

29. Washington Redskins

30. Miami Dolphins

31. Carolina Panthers

The Andrew Luck Frontrunners:
32. Cincinnati Bengals

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part Dos)

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**Follow up article**

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part One)

With the Chiefs sitting at 4-3-1 after the first 8 games of the season, lets see what the second half of the schedule has in store. Keep in mind, these are not the official Dirknosstications for the season, but essentially the median of the upcoming Chiefs season. Going by this same analysis, nobody would finish above 11-5 or below 4-12 (easier to be bad than it is to be good). The beauty of the NFL is that any team can over/underachieve simply by winning/losing their close games. That's what the good teams do, and that's what it will take for this team to make the playoffs once again.

On to the back 9, er 8....

Week 10: Denver Broncos
2010 Record: 4-12
Stock Watch: Neard-ing
What's New: The second pick in the NFL Draft, Von Miller, combined with the return of Elvis Dumervil gives the Donks a potentially scary outside pass rush. They also signed Willis McGahee, who should be my most hated player in the NFL following this game.
Outlook: The end of a 3 game home stand, happening before the 5 game stretch of death, screams of a potential glance over game. Luckily, it's a rivalry game, however that didn't help last season, as they almost stole the game at Arrowhead. Hopefully, the Schlonks get off to a bad start on the season and are entering Tebow Time by this point.
Win Potential: 85%

Week 11: @New England Patriots

2010 Record: 14-2

Stock Watch: Feminizing

What's New: Big names Chad Ochojoblow and Fat Albert Haynesworth have done little of note early on for The Flying Elvii. The Pats will also be moving to a base 4-3 defense, in effort to prove they're once again a step ahead of the rest of the league.

Outlook: This is most likely the toughest game on the schedule. It'd be rough enough going into one of the toughest stadiums in the NFL (in the regular season that is....Zzzzzzing!), but the Chiefs get the added pleasure of playing them on Monday Night Football. My best hope for this game is that we're a contender going in and that we keep it close. Or that we hurt Brady again.

Win Potential: 15%

Week 12: Pittsburgh Steelers

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Super Bowl loser cursed

What's New: Well, Big Ben hasn't raped anybody this calendar year for a change. And they added Jerricho Cotchery, who has always been a Dirk-nician.

Outlook: The last time the Steelers came into Arrowhead Stadium fresh off a Super Bowl season, they went home defeated. Game two of the 5 game stretch of death, and by my count, the Chiefs need to come away with two victories out of the five. This might be one of their better chances, even if physical teams gave the Chiefs fits last season.

Win Potential: 40%

Week 13: @Chicago Bears

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Cutlered in half

What's New: Everybody in the world has seen Jay Cutler for what he truly is, and 7 months isn't enough time for people to forget it. They also stole the ineffective parts of the Cowboys' offense, signing Marion Barber III and Roy "No Tippin" Williams.

Outlook: This will be the easiest of the 5 game stretch of death, even if it does come on the road. I expect the Bears to take more than a few steps back this year after their meltdown on national TV in the NFC Championship. Hell, I can't even figure out how they were good last season.

Win Potential: 45%

Week 14: @New York Jets

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Cranium-inflating

What's New: Plaxxxxxxxxx. Hopefully, he gets the Mike Vick treatment and sees total glorification because of his time in the slammer.

Outlook: The Jets have proved me wrong two years running, and if they do so again, I'm ready to anoint Rex Ryan as a top 5 NFL head coach. The absolute blueprint to beating the Chiefs last season was with a top flight CB (Nnamdi, Chump Bailey, etc.) taking D-Bowe out of the game, and focusing the rest of the defense on God Jam Charles. The Chiefs offense had no answer. Hopefully, that problem has been solved this year or else Revis and the Jets might shut us out.

Win Potential: 30%

Week 15: Green Bay Packers

2010 Record: 10-6

Stock Watch: Only one way it doesn't go down

What's New: Lost a few minor pieces (DE Cullen Jenkins), and return a few from injuries (TE JerMichael Finley), but essentially the same team as last season.

Outlook: The Chiefs have a decent history when facing defending Super Bowl champs, especially at Arrowhead (all the way back to Green Bay in the 90's - Sean LaChapelle shoutout). The Chiefs corners will be tested in this one, and not only their top pair, but the reserves as well, which worries me (Javier hasn't shown me much in that role). If the Chiefs win this one, they'll have the Arrowhead crowd to thank.

Win Potential: 35%

Week 16: Oakland Raiders

2010 Record: 8-8

Stock Watch: Wholly blackened

What's New: The Raiders picked up Al Saunders as their Offensive Coordinator. Is he still relevant?

Outlook: The Raiders continue to pose a serious threat towards the Chiefs because they'll have one of the NFL's top running games. And with two teams that thrive at running the ball, I almost throw home field advantage out the window, because that's the best way to neutralize it. So I don't see this game as all that more winnable than the game in Oakland. We cannot lose both games to the Raiders once again. Just can't happen.

Win Potential: 65%

Week 17: @Denver Broncos

2010 Record: 4-12

Stock Watch: Tebownizing

What's New: New head coach John Fox has always been one of the more underrated headsets in the NFL.

Outlook: In all likelihood, the Broncos will be out of the playoff race and will most likely be starting Tim Tebow at this point. For as much flak as Tebow has gotten this preseason (hello Merrill Hoge), his numbers have been pretty good (aside from the game that he attempted 2 passes, which I can't even begin to make sense of). I'm not sure if it'd be more enjoyable to see Tebow fail with the Broncos, or see Denver ship him off and see him succeed elsewhere. Oh, and am I afraid of a must win game in Denver to make the playoffs? Yes, petrified even.

Win Potential: 65%

By my count, the Chiefs will finish the 2011 season with a 7.89 - 8.11 record. I'd say the most commonly predicted record has been 8-8, and the Vegas over/under of 7.5 is very accurate. However, I assure you that there is a 100% chance that I will not predict an 8-8 record.

Alright Crodies, let me see your win potentials on the 16 games this season. It's a good healthy activity. Ecokat would approve.

His Dirkness

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part One)

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There's been a lot of talk surrounding the perceived difficulties of the Kansas City Chiefs 2011 schedule. I'm not buying it. And frankly, it's getting as annoying to listen to as Tim Tebow's daily depth chart updates. The only reason that it's even a concern is because the Chiefs had one of the easiest schedules of all time last season. This year, the schedule is just back to normal, that's all. So the next time you're at a party and Generic Chiefs Guy walks up to you and (inevitably) mentions the schedule in the first 30 seconds of the conversation, be sure to do all of us a favor, grab the nearest pie, and throw it at him.

Breaking down the Chiefs' 2011 opponents:

Week 1: Buffalo Bills
2010 Record: 4-12
Stock Watch: Sprouting
What's New: Mucho local ties as (former Chiefs Offensive Coordinator) Chan Chan the Man Man is gettin' Thiggy wit it in 2011. They also brought in The Hyphen, Brad Smith.
Outlook: If the Chiefs are serious about building on last year's success, the season opener at Arrowhead Stadium is a must win. However, the Bills should've beaten us at home last season and will be hungry for a victory.
Win Potential: 85%

Week 2: @Detroit Lions
2010 Record: 6-10
Stock Watch: Awakening
What's New: For starters, expectations for the Lions. Elsewhere, the Ndamukongs brought in a few nice additions (Jerome Harrison, Stephen Tulloch), but the biggest pickup was 1st rounder DT Nick Fairley (who might not yet be healthy by this game).
Outlook: This will be an excellent barometer of where both of these teams are at. The Lions will be a very popular pick as a team to surprise in 2011. There's no telling how this young group deals with expectations, but a good start will be pivotal. This is a bigger game for the Lions than it is the Chiefs.
Win Potential: 51%

Week 3: @San Diego Chargers
2010 Record: 9-7
Stock Watch: Surfacing
What's New: WR Vincent Jackson returns to the team full time (which will be huge), Takeo Spikes provides the defense with veteran leadership (which they sorely needed), and Bob Sanders could be the biggest signing of the offseason (IF he can stay healthy).
Outlook: If the Chiefs can go into this difficult road game at 2-0 (43.35% probability), they can play with a nothing to lose type of attitude. If not, this game will determine early season control of the AFC West. Either way, we won't have to watch Crodie Broyle squirm his way this game, so in a way, we all win.
Win Potential: 20%

Week 4: Minnesota Vikings
2010 Record: 6-10
Stock Watch: Trickling
What's New: Donovan F. McNasty, who is my preseason favorite for NFL Comeback Player of the Year. Also, the illustrious return of Jared Allen, who I would love to hurl obscenities at for 3 1/2 hours.
Outlook: This game seems like a gimme on paper, but it's level of sandwichness scares me. My biggest worry with this Chiefs team might be their (in)ability to stop the run. Well, Adrian Peterson is bound to get abused in an LJ type of way this year. Plus, I don't think the Chiefs have ever beaten a McNabb led team.
Win Potential: 68%

Week 5: @Indianapolis Colts
2010 Record: 10-6
Stock Watch: Descending
What's New: Peyton Manning done falled down and hurted his neck. His status for Week 1 is unknown as of now. Their offense will take some time to get in synch, but should be rounding into form around this time.
Outlook: The Chiefs missed their chance to send a message to the rest of the league by topping the Colts in Indy last season. A win this season would go a long ways towards legitimizing the Chiefs as an AFC powerhouse for the foreseeable future.
Win Potential: 30%

Week 6 BYE - The seemingly annual too-early-in-the-season bye week for the Chiefs. Most likely scenario at this point in the season: 3-2.

Week 7: @Oakland Raiders
2010 Record: 8-8
Stock Watch: Black Holed
What's New: Not a lot of additions to report here, but the team did lose 3 of their best players in Nnamdi Asomugha, Zach Miller, and Robert Gallery. Not to mention, they fired their head coach who seemed to finally bring some stability to the organization.
Outlook: This begins the easy portion of the schedule. The Chiefs should be favored in the next four games (before possibly being the underdog in the following 5). The game in Oak town always comes down to the wire, and I, for one, haven't forgotten the name Jacoby Ford.
Win Potential: 55%

Week 8: San Diego Chargers
2010 Record: 9-7
Stock Watch: Levitating
What's New: Didn't mention earlier that the team parted ways with Darren Sproley Poley.
Outlook: Monday Night Football. Halloween night. 100% chance I'll be in attendance with a Kentucky Tavern filled flask in my nantucket. If the Chiefs have aspirations of winning the AFC West this game is a must win (unless they shock them in Diego). KC's playoff fate might be known after these back to back toss up games.
Win Potential: 45%

Week 9: Miami Dolphins
2010 Record: 7-9
Stock Watch: Plummeting
What's New: All the news is at running back here. Ricky Williams and Ron Brown are gone. And in comes local boy Daniel Thomas (potential Offensive Rookie of the Year) and, wait for it.........Larry Johnson!
Outlook: The easiest game on the schedule for the Chiefs (followed by the next easiest the week after), the Dolphins should win no more than 5 games this season. If KC loses this one, they have no business even dreaming of the playoffs.
Win Potential: 90%

According to my calculations the Chiefs will sit at 4.44 - 3.56 at this point in the season. So if we're 4-3-1 you all owe me a burrito.