Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Kansas City Chiefs' Competitive Disadvantage?

My Best & Worst article went up on Arrowhead Pride today, a website that I'm very honored to write for. However, a large portion of a take I was very proud of was edited out (and understandably so, editor Joel Thorman knows what's best his for site better than I do). But I'd like for the take to be heard because I believe it is original, thought-provoking, and relevant.

Here is that excerpt...

Worst way to watch your team go down - Not at full strength. However, it's not the injuries that bother me (although it's somewhat maddening to feel like it's happening AGAIN). Those are just a part of the game though. What really grinds my gears is the suspension of Tamba Hali for his alleged involvement with a soon-to-be decriminalized plant that serves actual medicinal purposes. Look, we all know the Pro Smoke A Bowler was busted for the hippy lettuce in one way or another. Now, regardless of if you think marijuana should be legalized or not (a debate that has zero place in this forum), I'd like you to consider the following scenario:

Imagine Tamba Hali played for the Denver Broncos (ducks), and was caught doing whatever it was that he got caught doing here in Kansas City. What would the penalty have been for the exact same "crime"? To the best of my knowledge, Hali would've received a citation at most, avoided any arrest, and thus, would've foregone any punishment via the NFL. Therefore, aren't Kansas City players at a competitive disadvantage when it comes to their recreational drug habits? Is this fair? It pisses me off to think this may have played a vital role in the Chiefs eventual 0-1 start to this season. End rant.

I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts on this matter via the comments on here, Facebook, or Twitter.

Holla back,
His Dirkness

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Kansas City Chiefs' 2012 Season: Game by Game Predictions

Earlier this week, in my 2012 NFL Predictions, I prognosticated our Kansas City Chiefs to finish this season at 9-7.

{collective readership yawn}

Well, just wait till you see how they get there!!! WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH BUFFALO! AND THEN WE'RE GONNA GO THROUGH NEW ORLEANS! BYAH BYAH BYAH!!!!!

And so forth...

Week 1: Atlanta Falcons - This one's tough. And not only because I personally predicted the Falcons to win the Soup and/er Bowl this year. But, rather, because the Chiefs will be without Tamba Hali (only the most important Chiefs playa), while Brandon Flowers and Derrick Johnson aren't 100% (the next most valuable Chiefs defenders). The Chiefs always have a chance at Arrowhead, but the magic won't be enough this time.

P.S. Cheer for Tony Gonzalez, would ya?

PreDirktion: Atlanta 27, Kansas City 17, 0-1

Week 2: @ Buffalo Bills - I think the Chiefs put their toughness on display right here. The Bills are a popular choice as a surprise team this season, but (hopefully) the Chiefs remember the last time these two met (although I wish I didn't). With a trip to New Orleans looming, this game hovers around must-win status. And I think they're up for it.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 24, Buffalo 20, 1-1

Week 3: @ New Orleans Saints - Nobody expects the Chiefs to win this game. However, the Saints are flooded with turmoil right now. They will be led by an interim to the interim head coach for the first six weeks. They have two very winnable games prior to this game, and a trip to Green Bay awaiting in Week 4. Call me maybe crazy, but I think the Chiefs win this game with a steady dose of the runs.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 28, New Orleans 19, 2-1

Week 4: San Diego Chargers - The Chiefs are sitting pretty, returning home with a 2-1 record, with the NFL world having taken notice of last week's upset. Sound like a classic Chiefs letdown to you? Me too. Heartbreaker of the worst kind.

PreDirktion: San Diego 31, Kansas City 17, 2-2

Week 5: Baltimore Ravens - I hate Baltimore. I'm tired of them. I don't want to look at Joe Flacco's stupid face anymore. The Wire is overrated. The Orioles are gonna blow it. (Ok, one of those is a joke.) This has the feel of a statement game for the Chiefs. It's a game that Baltimore feels they should win, given the playoff debacle of 2010. But I think they're vulnerable this year, and I think the Chiefs help expose that guerilla warfare stylee.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 17, Baltimore 13, 3-2

Week 6: @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers - My surprise team of the NFL coming off of their bye week. While most fans have this game circled as a potential road win, I beg to differ. And not because of a feeble effort from the El Jefes. P.S. The Chiefs are 3-17 in their last 20 trips to Florida.

PreDirktion: Tampa Bay 16, Kansas City 13 OT, 3-3

BYE WEEK ~ Dirkness says relax.

Week 8: Oakland Raiders - I'm straight up embarrassed to type these words, but here goes: The Raiders have beaten the Chiefs at Arrowhead five straight times. Fiiiiiive tiiiiiimes. Guess who the Raiders' QB was the last time the Chiefs won at home (answer). Double ve-te-effe! This might be the game I'd most like to see the Chiefs win this season. It's gone on long enough.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 31, Oakland 10, 4-3

Week 9: @ San Diego Chargers - Some Thursday night action. I feel like the Chiefs never win in San Diego. And I certainly never predict them to win there. This year is no different.

PreDirktion: San Diego 30, Kansas City 16, 4-4

Week 10: @ Pittsburgh Steelers - Sweet Haley's revenge! For both sides really. I'm sure Todd hates K.C. as much as we I hate Billy Goat Haley (although I still haven't gotten my chance to kick his dog). Luckily, neither side has Tyler Palko. Another primetime game for the Chiefs means another tough opponent and another raucous crowd. Don't like our chances.

PreDirktion: Pittsburgh 17, Kansas City 9, 4-5

Week 11: Cincinnati Bengals - First time QB at Arrowhead Stadium alert! That still means something right? The Bengals surprised last season, which means they're headed for disappointment this year according to Pythagoras, Lord of the NFL. Who's ready for a mid-afternoon romp?

PreDirktion: Kansas City 27, Cincinnati 10, 5-5

Week 12: Denver Broncos - I saw some classic Peyton Manning highlights on Sportscenter the other day, and I'm happy to report his balls flutter WAY more now than they used to. 80% of him is still scary though. And he's not afraid of Arrowhead Stadium. This game has the feel of an Elway-like heartbreak that'll feel like the end of the season.

PreDirktion: Denver 24, Kansas City 21, 5-6

Week 13: Carolina Panthas - CAAAAAAAMM. CAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!! That is all.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 23, Camolina 10, 6-6

Week 14: @ Cleveland Browns - This team looks bad. Trent Richardson has knee-itis. Nobody knows if Brandon Weeden will hit his prime or retire first. And I can't really name another player of note on their team. Easy road win.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 24, Cleveland 13, 7-6

Week 15: @ Oakland Raiders - I will continue my tradition of the past 8 years and pick us to beat the Raiders in both meetings. I really don't see a way around it.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 17, Oakland 14, 8-6

Week 16: Indianapolis Colts - A shitty time to draw the Colts and Andrew Luck, who won't be playing like a rookie QB come December (if at all). With the Chiefs still in the hunt, this is a game that Arrowhead needs to pull out for the team.

PreDirktion: Kansas City 30, Indianapolis 20, 9-6

Week 17: @ Denver Broncos - According to my prognostiDirkifications, this game could might decide the AFC West (which most likely means the bright lights of Sunday Night Football). As much as my hands want to type "W" here, my mind tells me it's a game the Chiefs lose (but still make the playoffs!!!). Reverse jinx confirmed.

PreDirktion: Denver 20, Kansas City 16, 9-7

Goal is to beat my last season's performance of 10-6.

Fuck Roger Goodell,
His Dirkness

Wednesday, September 5, 2012


Click here to make fun of my last year's NFL Predictions!


AFC East:
1. New England Patriots 13-3 (1 seed)
2. Buffalo Bills 9-7 (6 seed)
3. New York Jets 7-9
4. Miami Dolphins 5-11

Take: The Patriots have a seriously easy schedule this year, along with the rest of the AFC East (playing the AFC South and NFC West, the two worst divisions in the NFL). So there is a great chance the Pats repeat as the top record in the AFC. Don't be surprised to see the other teams in this division overachieve with that easy of a schedule.

AFC South:
1. Houston Texans 11-5 (2 seed)
2. Indianapolis Colts 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 5-11
4. Jacksonville Jaguars 4-12

Take: Possibly the worst bottom three teams of a division I've ever seen in the NFL. The Texans could start Cade McNown on their way to the AFC South title this year. As for the other three doormats, I'll say the Colts stand the best chance to emerge.

AFC North:
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 10-6 (3 seed)
2. Cincinnati Bengals 8-8
3. Baltimore Ravens 7-9
4. Cleveland Browns 4-12

Take: This division has me stumped. Both the Ravens and Squealers are candidates to plunge this season, but I don't quite buy the Bengals either (overachieved with a super easy schedule last season). The one thing I am sure of is the Browns finishing 4th.

AFC West:
1. Denver Broncos 10-6 (4 seed)
2. Kansas City Chiefs 9-7 (5 seed)
3. Oakland Raiders 7-9
4. San Diego Super Chargers 7-9

Take: I think Peyton will be half the QB we're accustomed to seeing, but pulls out just enough late game wins to take the division before he keels over for good. A game-by-game breakdown of the Chiefs' 9-7 season is heading your way later this week.


NFC East:
1. Philadelphia Eagles 11-5 (3 seed)
2. New York Giants 9-7
3. Dallas Cowboys 8-8
4. Washington Redskins 5-11

Take: The Eagles put way too much pressure on themselves last season and predictably crapped the bed in the opening stanza. Since everybody assumes Vick gets hurt this year, he will probably start all 16 games. I like the Cowboys but over-predict on them every season. The Giants field the same record as last year but miss the playoffs in this edition.

NFC South:
1. Atlanta Falcons 12-4 (2 seed)
2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10-6 (6 seed)
3. New Orleans Saints 7-9
4. Carolina Panthas 7-9

Take: High on the Falcons. Julio Jones' emergence has been well documented, but Jacquizz Rodgers' hasn't yet (he runs for 1,200 yards this season). Asante Samuel provides championship experience, and new defensive coordinator Mike Nolan brings the ruckus to the defense. PLUS, it's Tony Gonzalez's last season in the NFL, giving them that extra little bit of motivation that I like (that's a lot of words on the Falcons..). Turmoil will flood the Saints, the Panthas aren't ready yet, but the Buccaneers are my surprise team of the NFL with plenty of young talent and a bounce back year from Jaaaaash Freeman (who I've come to like somehow).

NFC North:
1. Chicago Bears 12-4 (1 seed)
2. Green Bay Packers 11-5 (5 seed)
3. Detroit Lions 9-7
4. Minnesota Vikings 5-11

Take: My prediction that nobody else has, the Bears overtake the Packers and win the NFC North. Everything came so easy for GB last year, I think they're due for some turbulence. Meanwhile, emo-BFF's Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall are reunited (for what should be 120 receptions) in a city with wind.

NFC West:
1. Seattle Seahawks 9-7 (4 seed)
2. San Francisco 49ers 8-8
3. St. Louis Rams 6-10
4. Arizona Cardinals 3-13

Take: The 49ers fall back to earth, bringing the rest of the division with them. I wish I could pick nobody to win this division (just like I wish I could pick nobody to win the AFC). Alas, I'll ride the Russell Wilson III bandwagon even further as he choo-choo's Harbaugh's egg nog-a-nog.

Playoffs?!?! Playoffs.

Wildcard Round:
AFC - Kansas City over Denver, Pittsburgh over Buffalo
NFC - Philadelphia over Tampa Bay, Green Bay over Seattle

Divisional Round:
AFC - Houston over Pittsburgh, New England over Kansas City
NFC - Green Bay over Chicago, Atlanta over Philadelphia

Championship Round:
AFC - Houston over New England
NFC - Atlanta over Green Bay

Soup(er) Bowl:
Atlanta over Houston