2011 NFL PREDICTIONS

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Click here to make fun of my last year's predictions!

AFC

AFC East
New England Patriots 11-5 (3 seed)

Buffalo Bills 9-7

New York Jets 9-7
Miami Dolphins 2-14

AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers 13-3 (1 seed)
Baltimore Ravens 11-5 (5 seed)
Cleveland Browns 9-7
Cincinnati Bengals 4-12

AFC South
Houston Texans 11-5 (4 seed)

Jacksonville Jaguars 5-11

Tennessee Titans 5-11

Indianapolis Colts 3-13

AFC West
San Diego Chargers 12-4 (2 seed)
Denver Broncos 10-6 (6 seed)
Kansas City Chiefs *-*
Oakland Raiders 6-10

NFC

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys 11-5 (3 seed)
Philadelphia Eagles 11-5 (5 seed)
Washington Redskins 7-9
New York Giants 6-10

NFC North
Green Bay Packers 13-3 (1 seed)
Detroit Lions 10-6 (6 seed)
Minnesota Vikings 9-7
Chicago Bears 6-10

NFC South
New Orleans Saints 12-4 (2 seed)
Atlanta Falcons 9-7
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-9
Carolina Panthers 3-13

NFC West
St. Louis Rams 9-7 (4 seed)

Arizona Cardinals 6-10

San Francisco 49ers 6-10
Seattle Seahawks 4-12

PLAYOFFS?!?!? Playoffs.

WildCard Round:
AFC - New England over Denver, Baltimore over Houston
NFC - Dallas over Detroit, Philadelphia over St. Louis

Divisional Round:
AFC - San Diego over New England, Pittsburgh over Baltimore
NFC - New Orleans over Dallas, Philadelphia over Green Bay

Championship Round:
AFC - San Diego over Pittsburgh
NFC - New Orleans over Philadelphia

Super Bowl:

New Orleans over San Diego

Awards n' Shit

MVP: Philip Rivers, San Diego

Offensive Player of the Year: Andre Johnson, Houston

Defensive Player of the Year: Clay Matthews, Green Bay

Comeback Player of the Year: Donovan McNabb, Minnesota

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mark Ingram, New Orleans

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Von Miller, Denver

Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh

Winner of the Andrew Luck sweepstakes: Miami Dolphins

His Dirkness

Quick NFL Picks ~ Week 3

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After studying my Power Rankings, it's becoming apparent to me that in order for the Chiefs to make the playoffs they'll need to win the AFC West (9 of my top 13 teams reside in the AFC). This means that the outcomes of the Chargers games are just as important as the outcomes of Chiefs games (this is under the somewhat dangerous assumption that neither the Broncos or Raiders will compete for the division crown). So, remember when rooting on the Chiefs during these Sundays that (thankfully!) are plenty meaningful, to cheer just as hard against a Whale's Vagina.

Week 1 Record: 9-7
Week 2 Record: 12-4
Total: 21-11

Week 3 picks....

KANSAS CITY over San Francisco-W
NEW ENGLAND over Buffalo-W
Atlanta over NEW ORLEANS-W
Pittsburgh over TAMPA BAY-W
Tennessee over NY GIANTS-W
MINNESOTA over Detroit-W
BALTIMORE over Cleveland-W
Cincinnati over CAROLINA-W
HOUSTON over Dallas-L
Washington over ST. LOUIS-L
Philadelphia over JACKSONVILLE-W
SEATTLE over San Diego-W
Oakland over ARIZONA-L
Indianapolis over DENVER-W
MIAMI over Ny Jets-L
Green Bay over CHICAGO-L

Dirk

Kansas City Chiefs ~ San Diego Chargers

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I usually try to fill up my blog with insight and analysis that would satisfy anybody from an average fan to an abusive sportsaholic. I aim to stay as objective as possible when talking about my favorite teams to give singleminded fans a broader perspective. I try to garner everyone's attention when talking specific topics by relating them to other happenings in the world, rather it be sports related or not, so that everybody can find atleast a little enjoyment from them.

Well...not today.

I write to you all today from a very ignorant (ig-nant) point of view offering zero insight on the game or logic towards who will emerge victorious (I know who's winning tonight), because that's not what tonight is about.

Tonight is about passion. And emotion. And about protecting this house. And the Ultimate Tailgating Experience. It's about a bratwurst in one hand and a lukewarm PBR tallboy in the other. It's about trying to sneak in a half pint of Old Grand Dad Whiskey (Bad Santa's choice) to avoid paying 10 bucks for a brew dog. It's about razzing any Chargers fan you see, then laughing it off to avoid being one of "those guys," but secretly wishing harm on them upon entering the stadium (only to last for the 3 1/2 hours). It's about yelling CHIEFS so loud at the end of the national anthem, that constitutionalists are offended all over the country. It's about developing that invincible sense of euphoria that there's no way the Chiefs can lose with so much emotion swarming the stadium (usually gained right before kickoff). It's about screaming all game loud, and not having a voice the next day (the entire city should be 3 octaves quieter come Tuesday). It's about the stadium being loud enough that the TV commentators break out the device to measure the decibel levels of the crowd.

It's about showing anyone that has forgotten, around the city or the country, what Arrowhead Stadium is, what it was, and what it shall be (T9). That being the best gameday experience/homefield advantage in the NFL.

There are some of us out there that truly live and die with Kansas City Chiefs football. Literally, the Chiefs' well-being affects their day-to-day happiness in life. Think about that. These are your peers. They've entered a dark, dark place these last few years, and they need to be awakened.

We have our chance to do just that, and we get it on Monday Night Freakin' Football?!? Look people, the nation has forgotten what Arrowhead Stadium used to be about. Tonight is our chance to change perceptions. We need our aura back. And each and every one of you attending tonight can quite literally have an effect on the outcome of the game. To all readers, you hold not only a personal responsibility to be ALAP (as loud as possible), but to make sure everyone around you is being ALAP.

I know for sure, that a certain five gents, occupying the very top row (section 323) will be giving everything they've got to ensure a Chiefs victory. Hopefully that spreads all the way down to the front row. I want this to be the loudest Chiefs game in history.

Tonight Arrowhead Stadium regains the mystique......GO CHIEFS

His dirkness

2010 NFL Divisional Round Playoff Predictions

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I was planning on making predictions for every playoff game this year through the Dirkness, but couldn't find time before the annual ski trip commenced, and couldn't find a computer (or enough brain cells) while on the trip. Let's just say I dominated them though, and anyone who says I went 0-4 can answer to my fadeaway. And no, I will not be answering any questions regarding Dirk's conquest of ruining his legacy by cutting his hair. Warum?!?!?!?!



On to the picks...

Arizona-New Orleans: The Saints are the most vulnerable of all the teams with the bye week. Atleast the Colts porous ending was self-induced, the Saints just plain fell apart. The Cardinals are clearly the weirdest team in the NFL, they fully depend on what side of the bed Kurt Warner rolls off on. These two teams seem the exact same to me, so where's the advantage? The Saints are playing at home? eh. This same Cardinals team went to the Super Bowl last year? Closer. Drew Brees hasn't really proved it in the playoffs and Kurt Warner has? There it is. Oh yea, and don't eff with Kurt Warner in the playoffs!

Arizona 31, New Orleans 27



Baltimore-Indianapolis: The Colts have seemed destined for a stellar regular season followed by a disappointing postseason since about Week 3. The Ravens are led by Avon Lewis and Stringer Reed (praise The Wire). Oh, and they beat up the falsely feared faux-Faderiots (T-minus 389 days until Belichick heads to Kansas City). They got on them early though, and Joe Flacco was never asked to make a play. The Ravens will want to pound away again this week, and will win if they can, but Flacco will definitely have to make some throws. I don't think he can handle the heat from Marlo Freeney and the rest of the new boys in town. Remember, the Colts own the Ravens. They have beaten them 7 times in a row with much of the same personnel on both sides. The only thing that changes is that this is the playoffs, that's never been a problem for Peyton and the Colts has it? Not that I can remember...

Indianapolis 23, Baltimore 13



Dallas-Minnesota: The Cowboyz are purely the hottest team in the league right now. The Vikings are purely the best team in the league right now. The winner of the Super Bowl comes from this game. How do they match-up? Favre's best is better than Romo's best, but Favre's worst is worse than Romo's worst. Read that again. So, I would say heavily dependent on Favre. The Boys have the second best defense left in the league (Jets), but I think they're more suited to shut down wide-open passing attacks, akin to the Eagles and Saints. Can they shut down Adrian Peterson? Will AD's hush-hush case of 'Adrian has the fumbles' rear its head (6 this year)? The Cowboys won't be able to run the ball, but should find some room through the air, and if they can set up the run through that, will be able to win the game. For the Cowboys-I love Tony Romo, Felix Jones, DeMarcus Ware (the most underrated player in the league), and for the fact that we get to see Keith Brooking's pregame pump-up speech. For the Vikings-I love Jared Allen, Chester Taylor, Sidney Rice, and the aesthetics of Visanthe Shiancoe. For the game-I love the unders and that it's the toughest game to choose. I'm going against my Super Bowl pick of about Week 10, and I'm going all in with Tony Romo.

Cowboys 17, Vikings 13



NY Jets-San Diego: The Jets have the best defense and, perhaps, the best coach left in the playoffs. (There is a severe lack of top coaches left in the postseason, and for that matter the whole league. I think you only have 3 elite coaches left with Andy Reid being a rung below Billy Goat Belichick and Jeff Fisher. Who else?) The Chargers have the best mix of consistency and hotness coming into the playoffs, which makes them dangerous. They have been hearing about Darelle Revis all week (deservedly so - screwed out of Defensive Player of the Year), but will surely have a plan to counter him. I expect the Jets to roll the safeties to the other corner's side, which will result in Vincent Jackson getting opportunities for one-on-one jump balls against Revis. I see him winning a couple of them. The Chargers offense thrives off the deep ball more than any other. The problem with the Jets is if they get behind in this game at all, they are done. This is the week you see great teams with bad quarterback play go out.

San Diego 24, NY Jets 13