5 Keys for KU to beat Kentucky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Play two halves of basketball 

This hasn't been KU's style throughout the NCAA Tournament. For whatever reason, the Jayhawks have played poorly both offensively and defensively in the first half of 4 of their 5 games. Fortunately, KU has responded in the second half of every game (with a slight blip against NC State as the lone exception). KU opponents have shot 49.1% in the first half. In the second half, it plummets to 24.2%. That is astounding. The credit must go to Bill Self, who in my books is the best coach in the country right now (and I'm not talking just College Basketball, I mean in any sport).

Here's the problem - This won't fly against Kentucky. They're too good. Do I think they're unbeatable like most people around the country probably do? Not at all. However, they will be a notch or two better than any team KU has faced all season long (because they're a notch or two better than every other team in the country). But this is basketball. And this is one game. This upset wouldn't ever register on the same Richter Scale as Villanova over Georgetown in 1985. But for that to happen, KU cannot get behind by double digits. Not this game. KU must come out with the same intensity they showed in the second half against Ohio State. You will be able to tell by loose balls. KU got every single loose ball in the second half (Releford was personally responsible for 90% of them) against the Buckeyes, and almost none in the first half. 

2. Tyshawn Taylor hit a 3-pointer

I can't believe how much has gone wrong for KU in this NCAA Tournament, only for them to be playing in the final game tonight. They've come out ice cold in every game (but one), Teahan can't hit a shot, Robinson has repeatedly missed bunnies, Kevin Young just trying to get a shot off, and Tyshawn Taylor shooting 0-20 from 3-point range.

Now I wouldn't say Taylor has played poorly in the Tournament. In fact, outside of his poor shooting from downtown, he has played well. He is shooting 24-43 inside the 3-point arc. More importantly than that, he hasn't lost his confidence at all (in fact, I'm not sure anything could ever happen in Tyshawn's life that would cause him to lose ALL that confidence). Can you imagine how the kid will play if he sees a 3-pointer go down? Surely, he is due right? KU doesn't win if Tyshawn doesn't end his streak tonight.

3. Keep the game close

Now this sounds a tad obvious, but hear me out. A close game is an ENORMOUS advantage for Kansas. The Jayhawks have played in as many close games this NCAA Tournament as Kentucky has all season long. KU is more equipped to handle the pressure of a late close game than Kentucky.

Ah yes, the pressure. It is ALL on Kentucky. John Calipari has yet to win a National Championship. Calipari's best shot was thwarted by Bill Self. It was Calipari's team that missed those free throws (if this same situation arises tonight, and it's not on their mind, I'll assume they're on the same wavelength of a Buddhist monk). Kentucky is supposed to win. Kentucky's season would be a disappointment with a loss. Both teams' players are aware of these facts. Close game with 5 minutes left? I'm taking the Jayhawks.

4. Jeff Withey must remain in 12-armed flying Orangutan mode

Without question, Jeff Withey was the star of Saturday night's victory over thee Ohio State. He completely manhandled Jared Sullinger ("Withey mad" = best sign of KU's season), who couldn't decide whether to take his beatdown like a man, or whine to the refs like a bitch. But it wasn't just his straight up defense on Sullinger, it was his overall protection of the rim, no matter what direction it was coming from.

Now, Anthony Davis is a good 3-4 inches taller than Sully. I believe he'll be able to get his shot off over Withey, which should be the matchup most of the game. This means Withey will have to make his impact in help defense. He must eliminate any and all dribble penetration to the basket (exactly what he did to Aaron Craft on Saturday night). Defense is this team's biggest strength. Withey is this team's best defender. WE MUST PROTECT THIS RIM!

5. Thomas Robinson must decidedly outplay Anthony Davis

You could see the moment when T-Robb decided to take over on Saturday night. I don't remember what caused it, but you could see the rage taking over the man. He got pissed off. You WOULD like him when he's angry. Robinson definitely lets the little things get to him. You grab his arm, shoot him a look, or talk about the Morris's mama and it's game on. However, unlike a majority of athletes, Robinson plays his best when he's enraged. You can see the focus. He gets hungry to dominate. It eliminates his biggest weakness (laziness). Suddenly he is everywhere, doing everything. If we see 40 minutes of this tonight, KU will win easily. The problem with that logic is that I don't think it's humanly possible to do so outside of illegal substance abuse. Anybody know a guy?

Davis is incredibly under-utilized on Kentucky's offensive end. Throughout the year, I've seen Davis score on putbacks, alley-oops, and occasionally an outside jump shot or two. And then on Saturday night, I witnessed actual post moves in his game for the first time (to be fair, I haven't watched much CBB outside of KU this year). He scored on a jump hook. He hit 7 of his 8 shots (here's a weird stat: Nobody on Kentucky took more than 9 shots in their victory over Louisville). The kid is extremely unselfish. Almost to the point where I think it might hurt Kentucky. One thing that gives me confidence going into tonight's game is that I know Robinson will be ready and able to take over the game if necessary. I cannot say the same about Davis.

Now I'm gonna finish this article like Elijah Johnson at the rim (E.T. Every Time)...

Two teams. Ten starters. Nineteen eyebrows. One Championship. (via @the_natedogg on Twitter)

Go KU,

His Dirkness

Elijah Johnson's ONIONS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Move over Mario Chalmers, there's a new #15 in town.

Rest easy. Now that my catchy introduction has sucked you in, I assure you that Elijah Johnson isn't in the same stratosphere of "The Best Basketball Player in the World." Hell, he doesn't even have a seat at the dinner table with Chalmers alongside Tommie Frazier, Tim Salmon, and Ron World Peace.

Yet.

But that hasn't deterred me from noticing the volleyball-sized Grapefruits dangling between Johnson's legs this past week and a half. My Lawrence sources (very reliable) tell me that EJ's short size has gone from Large to Holy shit, I can't believe he took that deep of a three against Purdue with the game on the line for a basketball-obsessed university when he's the fourth best player on the team XXL.

Rewind.

February 4th, 2012. Mizzou Arena. Kansas and Missouri. KU blows an 8 point lead with just over 2 minutes left to play. KU down 3 with 10 seconds left. Everybody knows what play is coming. We'd seen it before in the 2007 Big 12 Championship Game. We'd seen it before in the National Championship Game. This play has an undisputed track record. But who gets to take the shot?

Elijah Johnson does. Well, sorta. The play unfolds perfectly (can be seen here, starting at 0:34). Tyshawn dribbles down the right side, hands off to EJ, who comes off the Travis Releford screen for a wide open look at the top of the key. And then? He doesn't shoot. Well, he eventually does, but not when he's supposed to. He misses terribly. In Miami, Chalmers gets stoned on a beach out of disgust.

This is so much worse than pulling the trigger and missing. I can't begin to describe how disappointing it was to see EJ afraid of the moment like that. He went Lebron in the 4th quarter of an NBA Finals game on us. He pulled a Jay Cutler in the NFC Championship Game. I didn't want the ball near EJ's hands with the game on the line ever again.

Fast Forward.

Elijah Johnson hits the biggest shot in three straight NCAA Tournament games, sending the Kansas Jayhawks to the 2012 Final Four.

vs. Purdue - Johnson essentially carries the team on his back on a night where both T-Rob and Tyshawn play horrifically. EJ scores 13 second half points, hits a three to give KU its first lead of the game with 3 minutes left (SHOT #1), throws a mystifying alley-oop pass to his guard-mate, captures a steal and finishes on the other end to give the Jayhawks a lead they never relinquished.

vs. NC State - KU controls the game until they go ice cold in the final 4 minutes. NC State closes to within 1 point to the shock of my at-home audience. Following a missed Tyshawn FT that goes out of bounds off NC State, EJ makes a backdoor cut right to the basket, receives the ball and finishes (SHOT #2) securing KU's spot in the Elite 8.

vs. North Carolina - A heavyweight battle. A back n' forth slugfest that sees little separation until EJ bangs home a three from the wing (SHOT #3), putting KU up 71-67 with just over 3 minutes to play. The Jayhawks score the next 9 points to send themselves to the Final Four.

How and when did this transformation happen? Johnson was widely criticized throughout the season for never realizing his potential, shooting 33% from downtown, and shooting blanks inside Mizzou Arena. To his benefit, and for the better or worse of anybody involved in College Basketball, you're judged for what you do in the NCAA Tournament. Especially at a program like Kansas.

Well, Elijah, you got two more games to make your case over The Lawrence Legend, and fellow #15 brother, Mario Chalmers. Who knows, maybe one day you'll be the one asking a lucky KU coed "Who's The Best Basketball Player in the World?"

His Dirkness

KU Wins: On A Night Where...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Kansas Jayhawks had every excuse they needed to lay down, go home, and accept their third upset in as many years last night in the NCAA Tournament.

On a night where similarities to the Northern Iowa and VCU games were impossible to ignore. KU comes out timid? Check. Opposing team builds an early lead by scorching the nets from downtown? Check. KU spends the rest of the game trying to erase that early double digit deficit? Check. KU begins to unravel, doing none of the things that brought the team to this point in the first place? Check. Late game, late in the shot clock, somewhat flukish, but very daggerrific three pointer? Che....wait, he missed it? Now, I'm not talking about the miss in the final seconds (as good a look as you can ask for in 2.5 seconds) or even Hummel's miss with Purdue trailing by 1. I'm talking about DJ Byrd's miss on his off-balanced, fadeaway 3 with just over a minute left to play (directly preceding the Elijah to Tyshawn alley-oop). That would've been the dagger. That's the shot both UNI and VCU were able to hit.

On a night where Thomas Robinson played his worst game of the season. I mean, he was lucky to draw iron on most of his shots (not to mention taking 12 seconds to make it down the floor at times). Sure, the Boilermakers were packing the paint all night (triple teaming T-Robb at times), but I haven't seen The Slobb miss that many point blank shots all season (to be fair, I don't jump all in on KU until after football season, so my perspective is a bit skewed).

On a night where neither of KU's best players came to play. Tyshawn Taylor forced a few up and missed a few we're used to seeing him make. However, to his credit, he never lost his composure (which, undoubtedly, would have spelled the end for KU).

On a night where Conner Teahan, both deservedly and inexplicably, became the team's #1 offensive weapon for a key 10 minute stretch in the second half. This was in reaction to Robinson and Taylor's struggles. Teahan stroked a few in the first half, but was unable to answer the bell in the second half. On to the next one...

On a night where the team's most underachieving player, Elijah Johnson, seized the moment, and rewrote the story on his own KU career in a 3 minute stretch. I can't believe he took that shot. I can't believe he didn't drop his arms down and do Sam Cassell's cajones dance after he hit it. That was THE ultimate "Nooooooooooo, YESSSSSSSSSSS" shot. Make no mistake about it, this was Elijah's win. He hit the shot. He threw the oop. He made the steal. And he threw it down for the lead that KU never relinquished. 

On a night where Jeff Withey put on his flashback face (located somewhere between his bad call face and his "I dominate you" face) and rehashed his Missouri miseries. "Jeff didn't go after the ball," Self said after the game, which basically means, "Withey didn't bring it." That also means, that with this team's season on the line, Self didn't want Withey in the game. It'll be interesting to see if Withey can regain his confidence, or if he can't, to see if KU will be able to alter their style on such short notice.

On a night where KU entrusted Kevin Young to slow down the opposition's best (and only) offensive weapon, Robbie Hummel. 

On a night where Naadir Tharpe shot three 3-pointers. My biggest gripe with Self right now is that he insists on playing Tharpe in this NCAA Tournament, while refusing to play him the majority of the season. I can't make any sense of this fact.

On a night where Bill Self broke out his favorite NCAA Tournament gimmick, the Triangle and 2 defense, which stifled the limited Purdue offense throughout the second half. I LOVE how Bill Self never, ever uses this in the regular season, but isn't afraid to bust it out in the Tournament (most notably, against Davidson in the Elite 8 of 2008).

On a night where KU got lucky. Why? Because Purdue just isn't any good (two horrible offensive possessions down the stretch was your surest sign). You're not supposed to win an NCAA Tournament game when your two best players play that poorly (combining to shoot 6-23). KU shot under 34% for the game as a team. On the other side, Purdue's best player shot 9-13. They shot 8-18 from deep.

So, how did KU win?

Because on this night, KU showed legitimate toughness, grit and determination. Maybe this KU team is different after all. Maybe they have the heart to navigate this cruel Tournament. Maybe this is the ugly win that, seemingly, every National Champion has on the path to the title. Or maybe last night was just last night.

A night where somehow, someway KU survived and advanced.

His Dirkness

Chiefs/Raiders Rivalry Video Breakdown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First, the Oakland Raiders pull off a rarely seen midseason blockbuster trade for QB Carson Palmer, then the news that he is projected to start this Sunday against the Chiefs, and I think we have ourselves the top billing game of the NFL weekend.

There's also the celebratory fact that the Kansas City Chiefs are playing a meaningful game in 2011. A win on Sunday and the Halloween Monday Nighter against the San Diego Chargers becomes the hottest ticket in town (I'm gonna go as 13-year old Andy Reid).

To get in the spirit of Raider Week, I began watching videos on YouTube and came across this beauty entitled "Chiefs vs. Raiders: The History of the Rivalry" which seems to have aired last year on NFL Network (not sure how I missed this). I've decided to give this video the Sports Guy style breakdown that it truly deserves.

Here's the vid...



0:00 - The song for this video is super awesome. Does anything beat the music for NFL Films videos? Similar to any video being funny to the Benny Hill Theme Song, I think you could put any football video to this music and it becomes unequivocally riveting. I think I'll make this song my alarm for Sunday morning afternoon.

0:13 - Of all the hits in this video that would be declared illegal in today's NFL, this completely unnecessary flying clothesline off the top turnbuckle may have been the most illegal.

0:23 - This is the result of adults played the children's game Red Rover.

0:36 - "The Kansas City Chiefs: They were a team that projected the image that Hank Stram wanted to project - A dapper outfit." This is a pretty cool reputation.

0:42 - John Madden smoking a cigarette on the sideline of an NFL game. Has anybody else dominated three aspects of the sporting world as well as Jaaaaahn? His winning percentage as a head coach ranks 2nd all time. He popularized such words as "Boom!", "Whap!", "Bang!" and "Doink!" as an announcer (thanks Wiki). And yet everybody born after 1990 will remember him as The Godfather of sports video games. WAIT A SECOND...is that a hooter he's smoking? I'm becoming a bigger Madden fan by the minute.

0:50 - 0:57 - This series of hits on former Chiefs QB Lenny Dawson is in dire need of a few Wilhelm screams.

1:00 - Is that an interview with an active Kenny Stabler? He's a damn drunken bumpkin. I imagine him wearing Hillbilly Jim overalls during that interview with a pint of Old Crow in the breast pocket.

1:08 - And clearly Stabler is racist...

1:10 - What's with all the clothesline hits? Did those get outlawed at some point and time or just go out of style?

1:20 - Calm down...PHIL

1:28 - I distinctly remember my dad owning that same hat that sits upon Marty Schottenheimer's head. I guess the NFL didn't charge $40 for anything players or coaches wore back then because my dad wouldn't have paid that.

1:47 - "And the Raiders would make up their own rules" as we see Al Davis sporting an all white jumpsuit.

1:55 - What's the context of "the bastards got 3 points"? Was Marty encouraging the defense because they held them to a field goal? Was he pissed that his defense allowed them to even score 3 points? Or was he referring to his own offense as the bastards and thought that 3 points was enough for his defense?

2:02 - 2:24 - My love for obscure 90's Chiefs players is in sensory overload. Bill Maas, Dave Kreig, JJ Birden, Todd McNair, Leslie O'Neal, Chester McGlockton, Bam Morris (I demand to know where Donnell Bennett and Dino Hackett are). I almost cried right along with Marty.

2:17 - The Oakland QB right there is Donald Hollas. I thought I knew of every starting NFL QB of that era, especially within the division, but I have never heard of this dude. He went to Rice. And he led the Raiders to four straight wins in 1998! However, he threw 6 INT's in his final start. Three months later, the Raiders signed Rich Gannon.

2:29 - Greg Hill sighting!!!

2:51 - Documented proof that Thomas Jones can gain more than 5 yards in a single run.

2:57 - Darren McFadden leads the best rushing attack in the NFL against Kansas City this week. The Chiefs run defense has been secretly awesome this season (especially in the past three games). Shut down Oakland this week and they are officially for real. I feel you need to be dominant in one aspect of the game to be a real contender and the Chiefs lost that when Jamaal Charles went down. In other words, you'll learn everything you need to know about this team on Sunday. But first, one last brawl...

3:03 - Who knew Lenny D was so wily on the move like that? He's got wheels.

3:14 - Definitive punch to the groin.

3:18 - Look at Raider #84. I can't make out his name but I'm sure it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. Perhaps he needs to have a sit down with overstimulated Phil from the 1:20 mark.

3:24 - Clearly the Chiefs won that fight.

Go Chiefs,
His Dirkness

New Show in Town ~ Sporting KC

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether you're on the Suck for Luck bandwagon or you ain't, one thing is clear for all Chiefs fans: The passion for this season is (*Denny Matthews voice*) GONE!

I just didn't know it had all transferred over to a different team in town. Who you ask?

Sporting Kansas City.

Last night I ventured over to Livestrong Park to take in my first Sporting game of the season. Simply put, it was the best sporting event I've attended in 2011 (take that Chiefs home opener!). I had previously attended a Wizards game at Arrowhead Stadium and was underwhelmed by everything but the opportunity to yell at Freddy Adu all game long. The difference was night and day.

Fast forward to today, and I'm still exhausted from jumping around like a fool and chanting along all game long. I was lucky enough to sit stand in "The Cauldron" where all the crazies sit stand (only 15 bucks). The coolest part about the game was (what appeared to be) elected fan leaders that faced the crowd and led them all in the team's chants (probably around 15) all game long. They made sure the crowd stayed rowdy through the entire 90 minutes, and they succeeded.

The next coolest part was cheaper beer for all the fans sitting in The Cauldron. While the peons paid 8.50 for piss in a cup, us fancy folk were paying 6 bucks for a big ass Drop Kick Ale (mmm delicious). Cheap beer also leads to great fan participation (are you noticing the pattern yet?).

I've always wanted to attend a European soccer game, or even on a grander scale, a World Cup game (on my sports Bucket List). I've always been infatuated by the atmosphere of those games, with what I call the most passionate fan bases in the world. Well, I gots me a taste of it last night. And it was good.

And Sporting KC is good. They clinched a spot in the playoffs last night, and currently sit in first place in the eastern conference after whooping up on the team that was in first place last week. A home playoff game is looking more and more likely, and would be an event that I wouldn't want to miss out on.

So while I remain a Chiefs fan first and foremost, my competitive fan juices might be saved up for Major League Soccer this year. And if you haven't made your way out to a game yet, I'd strongly advise you to do so sooner rather than later. Who knows if this city's passion for Sporting KC will run as strong when the Chiefs are trotting out Andrew Luck in 2012.

His Dirkness

Chiefs/Bills Rewatch Thoughts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enough time had passed, and with a little help from my green friends, I was able to stomach a rewatch of the Kansas City Chiefs opening day massacre. I had a multitude of thoughts from watching the game, as anybody who follows me on Twitter noticed around 3 am last night. And since I'm too unmotivated to organize them, I'm simply going to regurgitate them to you all on here.

But first, some of the broader points I took away after the rewatch:

~Everybody is being too harsh on Todd Haley. Yes, this game completely falls on him. His preseason plan completely backfired, and the team, and the young players in particular, were unprepared to take the field on Sunday. But the dude was coach of the year last year. He took us from nowhere to the playoffs in two seasons, so give him some due. The biggest knock on him is a horrific preseason, which, in the grand scheme of things, seems kinda silly. Now, if this effort continues throughout the entirety of this season, I'll be singing a different tune. But for now, I'll back off.

~People aren't being harsh enough on Matt Cassel and Bill Muir. In the heat of the game, I failed to realize the ridiculousness of the offensive gameplan. I'm not sure if they were worried about Cassel's injured ribs, but the number of short passes was mind boggling. The offensive line actually did a decent job, but Cassel looked completely incapable of pushing the ball down field. This can't continue (And yes, I realize the hiring of Muir falls on Haley, and that is most certainly a negative, but I choose to keep a long term open mind on the head coach).

Now to the quick hitta's:

• The Chiefs best play of the opening 4 of the game was getting destroyed on a 9 yard run
• Miss a tackle, take a seat #YoureUpFirstSheffield (Could not believe the excessive missed tackling. This falls under the team being unprepared, and/or lack of testicular fortitude)
• Javier did absoutely nothing on their TD. This guy has yet to make one positive play on defense in his career. Am I wrong? (I actually was wrong, Arenas put a good hit on Fitzpatrick later on in the game)
• 2nd kickoff: Dexter hesitates, #Chiefs hold, Bills facemask. And it goes to spot of Chiefs penalty? Is that a correct call? @MikePereira (Mike still hasn't gotten back to me)
• Bill Muir's first time calling plays in his career. You shouldn't be hiring a first timer unless he's 35 or younger. (Close to moving on from Muir after one game)
• Chiefs who have responded to early adversity: Leonard Pope, Jamaal Charles (list grew to include Tamba Hali, and that's it really)
• Cassel REALLY wanted to hit Terrence Copper on that slant. Cassel takes abominably bad sack. #Thesearethedaysofourlives (opening plays by our offense)
• If I were a Raiders or a Broncos fans I would call us the Kansas City McGraws (hope this doesn't catch on)
• Replacing Eric Berry with Jon McGraw is like replacing Scarlett Johansson with Glen Rice (Scar Jo nudes were a little disappointing. Frankly, she seems hotter with her clothes on)
• Ryan Fitzpatrick > Jay Fiedler (Ivy Leaguers)
• Why so many rollouts in Chiefs gameplan? Did they run any successful rollouts last year? (Really didn't understand the continuous Popey rollouts)
• That 3rd and 7 swing to Jamaal was maybe the worst play I've ever seen. 4 Bills running at him unblocked. FireMuir.com? (starting to see my turn on Muir)
• Gilberry pressure. Carr breakup. +1 a piece
• I couldn't yell Fuck Shawne Merriman loud enough on Sunday #Oneofthebettermemories
• 3rd down pass to Bowe was PI. Defender grabs his arm. Should be called way more than tiny body contact. #Ihateyoupassinterference
• BIG PLAY FROM JON MCGRAW! #NoReally
• Big 3rd and 6 - McGraw 1 on 1 with Something Nelson. #ThatOneIsOnCrennel
• Fitzpatrick absolutely pinpoints 2 passes for Bills to score 2nd touchdown (Chiefs were playing good defense at this point outside of the Caucasian Invasion at safety)
• Richardson destroyed on a draw, minus 1
• Nick Barnett sure would look nice in red #32millaintsobadClark
• If Jake O'Connell would've dropped that pass, he would've become the quickest cut player in NFL history. #Grammar
• How could Leonard Pope celebrate after clearly not catching the TD?
• Interesting shot of Todd Haley screaming into headset after Pope's overturned TD. Can't make out what he's saying. Tried over and over. (Even tried slow motion)
• Cassel went down like a pocket vagina in his first 2 sacks (Yes, I'm running with that nickname if this season falls apart)
• Cassel had a terrible game in Week 1 last season. And the final week. He struggles with firsts and lasts.
• I feel like it has been an overreaction, in large, to Week 1. Lack of response is worrisome. Perhaps more telling of mentality than talent. (This may have been my biggest takeaway from the game. A lot of the team's shortcomings were due to circumstances that you will not see every week. The most troubling part was the lack of response from 95% of the team. They were completely unable to man up.)
• Our pass rush isn't getting it done. Interior push is nonexistent.
• Kendrick just got punked (Coulda said this 4 or 5 times. Possibly the most disappointing player of the game)
• Gilberry with 2 first half pressures. You still my boy @Gilberry92! (He knows, he knows)
• Appeared to have a reverse called on the kick return there. Never got close to happening. (At least we were trying some things to mix it up)
• So we have no idea if Jamaal actually fumbled that football? (Camera angles were completely unable to capture when the ball came out)
• Flowers becoming a little too vulnerable to a soft push off (B-Flow either has to bulk up or play more physical because he got pushed around a little bit)
• I see absolutely nobody even attempting to rally the Chiefs in the first hlaf. Who are the leaders on this team? (I only feel comfortable saying that Tamba Hali was trying to fire up his teammates during this debacle)
• No reason for Cassel to rush that play before the 2 minute warning. -1 Time management.
• Just ran our 2nd and goal play for Jake O'Connell (-1 for Muir)
• Chiefs only touchdown was inches away from being a pick 6. And you thought 41-7 was bad...
• Piscitelli cheering for himself way too much on his only good play
• Big play - Bills 13 yards on quick slant to get to 3rd and 1. Chiefs not allowed to add more points before half.
• 3rd and 1 perfect display of Chiefs awfulness. DJ missed tackle. Just out of Tamba's reach. Flowers gets manhandled.
• Gannon almost at a loss for words after our multitude of dumpoffs to Pope (Went on quite a rant talking about how you rarely see teams call the exact same play repeatedly. Muir.)
• Master Kim alright! (If you know, you know)
• Tamba trying to get the team fired up. Noted. (See, I told ya)
• Horrible coverage from Kendrick (Rinse. Repeat.)
• Encouraged by the play I've seen from Charles and Tamba (Less worried about Charles after this game)
• Belcher with a good play on the goal line.
• @getnickwright Your boy Amon Gordon was a manimal on a couple goal line plays in 3rd Q (Look for more playing time out of this man)
• I'd fine the Chiefs defensive players for giving up that TD after 2 false starts (And give it to season ticket holders)
• Pretty sure tight end was wide open because Kendrick blew his coverage (Either he or Javier, couldn't pinpoint)
• Thought for sure Jamaal was seriously injured on the awkward hit he took (Would've been the icing on the cake)
• 3 Offensive PI's the Bills got away with by my count. Probably why we lost.
• Just noticed the KC Wolf dressed up like a cheerleader. Its pretty disturbing. (He looked like Sabby Piscitelli)
• Even tho Flowers got beat some, I feel good about how he played
• Is there any doubt LeRon McClain hates being a Chief right now?
• The tackling was piss poor. The rookies looked shell shocked. Both due to being unprepared. This falls on Haley.
• Studebaker didnt really play at all on defense. Why?
• Bills Chiefs got so out of hand that Rich Gannon was talkin Super Bowl rings with Ryan Fitzpatrick (Got to lovvvvve The Fitz)

Fin

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part Dos)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**Follow up article**

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part One)

With the Chiefs sitting at 4-3-1 after the first 8 games of the season, lets see what the second half of the schedule has in store. Keep in mind, these are not the official Dirknosstications for the season, but essentially the median of the upcoming Chiefs season. Going by this same analysis, nobody would finish above 11-5 or below 4-12 (easier to be bad than it is to be good). The beauty of the NFL is that any team can over/underachieve simply by winning/losing their close games. That's what the good teams do, and that's what it will take for this team to make the playoffs once again.

On to the back 9, er 8....

Week 10: Denver Broncos
2010 Record: 4-12
Stock Watch: Neard-ing
What's New: The second pick in the NFL Draft, Von Miller, combined with the return of Elvis Dumervil gives the Donks a potentially scary outside pass rush. They also signed Willis McGahee, who should be my most hated player in the NFL following this game.
Outlook: The end of a 3 game home stand, happening before the 5 game stretch of death, screams of a potential glance over game. Luckily, it's a rivalry game, however that didn't help last season, as they almost stole the game at Arrowhead. Hopefully, the Schlonks get off to a bad start on the season and are entering Tebow Time by this point.
Win Potential: 85%

Week 11: @New England Patriots

2010 Record: 14-2

Stock Watch: Feminizing

What's New: Big names Chad Ochojoblow and Fat Albert Haynesworth have done little of note early on for The Flying Elvii. The Pats will also be moving to a base 4-3 defense, in effort to prove they're once again a step ahead of the rest of the league.

Outlook: This is most likely the toughest game on the schedule. It'd be rough enough going into one of the toughest stadiums in the NFL (in the regular season that is....Zzzzzzing!), but the Chiefs get the added pleasure of playing them on Monday Night Football. My best hope for this game is that we're a contender going in and that we keep it close. Or that we hurt Brady again.

Win Potential: 15%

Week 12: Pittsburgh Steelers

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Super Bowl loser cursed

What's New: Well, Big Ben hasn't raped anybody this calendar year for a change. And they added Jerricho Cotchery, who has always been a Dirk-nician.

Outlook: The last time the Steelers came into Arrowhead Stadium fresh off a Super Bowl season, they went home defeated. Game two of the 5 game stretch of death, and by my count, the Chiefs need to come away with two victories out of the five. This might be one of their better chances, even if physical teams gave the Chiefs fits last season.

Win Potential: 40%

Week 13: @Chicago Bears

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Cutlered in half

What's New: Everybody in the world has seen Jay Cutler for what he truly is, and 7 months isn't enough time for people to forget it. They also stole the ineffective parts of the Cowboys' offense, signing Marion Barber III and Roy "No Tippin" Williams.

Outlook: This will be the easiest of the 5 game stretch of death, even if it does come on the road. I expect the Bears to take more than a few steps back this year after their meltdown on national TV in the NFC Championship. Hell, I can't even figure out how they were good last season.

Win Potential: 45%

Week 14: @New York Jets

2010 Record: 11-5

Stock Watch: Cranium-inflating

What's New: Plaxxxxxxxxx. Hopefully, he gets the Mike Vick treatment and sees total glorification because of his time in the slammer.

Outlook: The Jets have proved me wrong two years running, and if they do so again, I'm ready to anoint Rex Ryan as a top 5 NFL head coach. The absolute blueprint to beating the Chiefs last season was with a top flight CB (Nnamdi, Chump Bailey, etc.) taking D-Bowe out of the game, and focusing the rest of the defense on God Jam Charles. The Chiefs offense had no answer. Hopefully, that problem has been solved this year or else Revis and the Jets might shut us out.

Win Potential: 30%

Week 15: Green Bay Packers

2010 Record: 10-6

Stock Watch: Only one way it doesn't go down

What's New: Lost a few minor pieces (DE Cullen Jenkins), and return a few from injuries (TE JerMichael Finley), but essentially the same team as last season.

Outlook: The Chiefs have a decent history when facing defending Super Bowl champs, especially at Arrowhead (all the way back to Green Bay in the 90's - Sean LaChapelle shoutout). The Chiefs corners will be tested in this one, and not only their top pair, but the reserves as well, which worries me (Javier hasn't shown me much in that role). If the Chiefs win this one, they'll have the Arrowhead crowd to thank.

Win Potential: 35%

Week 16: Oakland Raiders

2010 Record: 8-8

Stock Watch: Wholly blackened

What's New: The Raiders picked up Al Saunders as their Offensive Coordinator. Is he still relevant?

Outlook: The Raiders continue to pose a serious threat towards the Chiefs because they'll have one of the NFL's top running games. And with two teams that thrive at running the ball, I almost throw home field advantage out the window, because that's the best way to neutralize it. So I don't see this game as all that more winnable than the game in Oakland. We cannot lose both games to the Raiders once again. Just can't happen.

Win Potential: 65%

Week 17: @Denver Broncos

2010 Record: 4-12

Stock Watch: Tebownizing

What's New: New head coach John Fox has always been one of the more underrated headsets in the NFL.

Outlook: In all likelihood, the Broncos will be out of the playoff race and will most likely be starting Tim Tebow at this point. For as much flak as Tebow has gotten this preseason (hello Merrill Hoge), his numbers have been pretty good (aside from the game that he attempted 2 passes, which I can't even begin to make sense of). I'm not sure if it'd be more enjoyable to see Tebow fail with the Broncos, or see Denver ship him off and see him succeed elsewhere. Oh, and am I afraid of a must win game in Denver to make the playoffs? Yes, petrified even.

Win Potential: 65%

By my count, the Chiefs will finish the 2011 season with a 7.89 - 8.11 record. I'd say the most commonly predicted record has been 8-8, and the Vegas over/under of 7.5 is very accurate. However, I assure you that there is a 100% chance that I will not predict an 8-8 record.

Alright Crodies, let me see your win potentials on the 16 games this season. It's a good healthy activity. Ecokat would approve.

His Dirkness

Breaking Down the Chiefs 2011 Schedule (Part One)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's been a lot of talk surrounding the perceived difficulties of the Kansas City Chiefs 2011 schedule. I'm not buying it. And frankly, it's getting as annoying to listen to as Tim Tebow's daily depth chart updates. The only reason that it's even a concern is because the Chiefs had one of the easiest schedules of all time last season. This year, the schedule is just back to normal, that's all. So the next time you're at a party and Generic Chiefs Guy walks up to you and (inevitably) mentions the schedule in the first 30 seconds of the conversation, be sure to do all of us a favor, grab the nearest pie, and throw it at him.

Breaking down the Chiefs' 2011 opponents:

Week 1: Buffalo Bills
2010 Record: 4-12
Stock Watch: Sprouting
What's New: Mucho local ties as (former Chiefs Offensive Coordinator) Chan Chan the Man Man is gettin' Thiggy wit it in 2011. They also brought in The Hyphen, Brad Smith.
Outlook: If the Chiefs are serious about building on last year's success, the season opener at Arrowhead Stadium is a must win. However, the Bills should've beaten us at home last season and will be hungry for a victory.
Win Potential: 85%

Week 2: @Detroit Lions
2010 Record: 6-10
Stock Watch: Awakening
What's New: For starters, expectations for the Lions. Elsewhere, the Ndamukongs brought in a few nice additions (Jerome Harrison, Stephen Tulloch), but the biggest pickup was 1st rounder DT Nick Fairley (who might not yet be healthy by this game).
Outlook: This will be an excellent barometer of where both of these teams are at. The Lions will be a very popular pick as a team to surprise in 2011. There's no telling how this young group deals with expectations, but a good start will be pivotal. This is a bigger game for the Lions than it is the Chiefs.
Win Potential: 51%

Week 3: @San Diego Chargers
2010 Record: 9-7
Stock Watch: Surfacing
What's New: WR Vincent Jackson returns to the team full time (which will be huge), Takeo Spikes provides the defense with veteran leadership (which they sorely needed), and Bob Sanders could be the biggest signing of the offseason (IF he can stay healthy).
Outlook: If the Chiefs can go into this difficult road game at 2-0 (43.35% probability), they can play with a nothing to lose type of attitude. If not, this game will determine early season control of the AFC West. Either way, we won't have to watch Crodie Broyle squirm his way this game, so in a way, we all win.
Win Potential: 20%

Week 4: Minnesota Vikings
2010 Record: 6-10
Stock Watch: Trickling
What's New: Donovan F. McNasty, who is my preseason favorite for NFL Comeback Player of the Year. Also, the illustrious return of Jared Allen, who I would love to hurl obscenities at for 3 1/2 hours.
Outlook: This game seems like a gimme on paper, but it's level of sandwichness scares me. My biggest worry with this Chiefs team might be their (in)ability to stop the run. Well, Adrian Peterson is bound to get abused in an LJ type of way this year. Plus, I don't think the Chiefs have ever beaten a McNabb led team.
Win Potential: 68%

Week 5: @Indianapolis Colts
2010 Record: 10-6
Stock Watch: Descending
What's New: Peyton Manning done falled down and hurted his neck. His status for Week 1 is unknown as of now. Their offense will take some time to get in synch, but should be rounding into form around this time.
Outlook: The Chiefs missed their chance to send a message to the rest of the league by topping the Colts in Indy last season. A win this season would go a long ways towards legitimizing the Chiefs as an AFC powerhouse for the foreseeable future.
Win Potential: 30%

Week 6 BYE - The seemingly annual too-early-in-the-season bye week for the Chiefs. Most likely scenario at this point in the season: 3-2.

Week 7: @Oakland Raiders
2010 Record: 8-8
Stock Watch: Black Holed
What's New: Not a lot of additions to report here, but the team did lose 3 of their best players in Nnamdi Asomugha, Zach Miller, and Robert Gallery. Not to mention, they fired their head coach who seemed to finally bring some stability to the organization.
Outlook: This begins the easy portion of the schedule. The Chiefs should be favored in the next four games (before possibly being the underdog in the following 5). The game in Oak town always comes down to the wire, and I, for one, haven't forgotten the name Jacoby Ford.
Win Potential: 55%

Week 8: San Diego Chargers
2010 Record: 9-7
Stock Watch: Levitating
What's New: Didn't mention earlier that the team parted ways with Darren Sproley Poley.
Outlook: Monday Night Football. Halloween night. 100% chance I'll be in attendance with a Kentucky Tavern filled flask in my nantucket. If the Chiefs have aspirations of winning the AFC West this game is a must win (unless they shock them in Diego). KC's playoff fate might be known after these back to back toss up games.
Win Potential: 45%

Week 9: Miami Dolphins
2010 Record: 7-9
Stock Watch: Plummeting
What's New: All the news is at running back here. Ricky Williams and Ron Brown are gone. And in comes local boy Daniel Thomas (potential Offensive Rookie of the Year) and, wait for it.........Larry Johnson!
Outlook: The easiest game on the schedule for the Chiefs (followed by the next easiest the week after), the Dolphins should win no more than 5 games this season. If KC loses this one, they have no business even dreaming of the playoffs.
Win Potential: 90%

According to my calculations the Chiefs will sit at 4.44 - 3.56 at this point in the season. So if we're 4-3-1 you all owe me a burrito.

Best & Worst of Chiefs ~ Buccaneers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apologies for the tardiness of this article. I could come out at you with a couple of different excuses, but I feel like Roy Munson sums it up best...



This is the formal introduction of my weekly Chiefs reaction articles entitled "The Best & Worst w/ His Dirkness." It's a work in progress and will evolve along with the season, so let me know what you're thinking Crodies.

*Best part of KC-TB game - Well, we got to see the team on the field again. However, most of my fun from Friday night came in the form of tailgating (pregame and postgame), as well as the sights and sounds of Arrowhead Stadium (including Rob Riggle's highlarious antics on the big screen).

*Worst part of KC-TB game - The Chiefs approach to the game made it very difficult to evaluate any of the players on the field. Atleast for me. There's not much to say about our 3rd string offensive line getting owned by the Buccaneers' starting defensive line. Hopefully the coaches were able to get something out of it.

*Best part about the Chiefs' strategy - No injuries. Pioli and Haley seem to value limiting their amount of injuries to the fullest. Haley stressed conditioning in his first two training camps and it led to a very low number of injuries in 2010 (I can't really remember the 2009 season...). I believe Haley changed his strategy for this year's camp because of the lockout, and is steadily easing his players back into the swing of things to assure their bodies are ready to handle it.

*Worst sight - Todd Haley's clean shaven, man-tanned look on the sidelines. That ain't how we reached them playoffs Todd. No sleep for you.

*Best idea - Renaming the first Chiefs preseason game of every year "The Jackie Battle Classic."

*Best play - How would you feel if I told you it was a 3rd quarter incompletion? Is that something you might be interested in? Good, because Johnny Baldwin's juggling catch (albeit out of bounds) was a perfect display of why we drafted this guy. He's got amazing go-up-n-gets-it skills.

*Worst play - I'll go with the sack for a safety where all 4 of the Bucs' defensive linemen seemingly converged on Tyler Palko at the same time. Oh, and Palko fumbled too, right?

*Worst call - How was that play ruled a safety? Clearly, Palko fumbles the ball almost immediately after getting hit and the Chiefs recover it outside of the end zone. This narrowly edges the refs ruling Jackie Battle down on his fumble when it wasn't even close. And this is the point where, if I lacked any originality, I would claim that it's preseason for the officials too.

*Best/Worst play - Tampa Bay QB Josh Johnson jukin' and jivin' his way through our entire defense for a 20 something yard run, which was awful to see, looking like he might score, and then POWE! As in NT Jerrell Powe, who plops himself down right on top of Johnson.

*Best crowd reaction - The booing of every kickoff that sailed deep into the end zone. They weren't booing their team, or the opponents, but instead just the rule, which is brilliant.

*Best analysis (Yes, I manned up and rewatched the game) - After Chandler Williams watched a punt bounce at the 20, and roll inside the 5 yard line, only to scoop it up and get drilled, Brian Billick summed up the situation nicely, "You don't wanna do that..." No you don't Chandler. No, you don't.

*Worst analysis - At one point, Billick breaks down the Chiefs schedule suggesting that the first half is made up of mostly divisional opponents, while the on screen graphics showed that only 3 of the 8 games are within the division. The second half of the schedule includes the same number.

*Best Vegas prop bet - Shane Bannon getting the ball on the Chiefs first play of the 2011 preseason. Paid out 40-to-1.

*Best KC players - Thomas Jones, Justin Houston, Dion Gales, Something Bakhtiari.

*Worst KC players - Jackie Battle, Verran Tucker, Allen Bailey.

Don't freak out until it's our starters who look bad,
His dirkness

How I'll Remember the 2011 Dallas Mavericks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I debated between 3 titles for this write-up before finally deciding on a broad name with emphasis on all three of my thesii.

(Alternate Title: The Movie Starring the 2011 Dallas Mavericks)

1. The so-called Basketball Gods DO exist
2. This team saved Basketball
3. This was the greatest NBA Playoffs and Finals of all-time

(Bare in mind that I've already waxed poetic about the man, the myth, the legend: Dirk Nowitzki)

1. The Miami Heat winning this 2011 NBA title just wouldn't have been right. Not after how they circumnavigated the system. Not after the 2006 NBA Finals. Not after those has-beens mocked the best player in the series after he just got done kicking their ass at 50%.

If these so-called "Basketball Gods" did exist, they certainly wouldn't be doing their job if they did the Dallas Mavericks in like that once again. However, after witnessing the 2011 NBA Finals, I'm ready to fully embrace their existence.

In case you're wondering just why I feel the Mavs were the team deserving of such justice, look no further than 2006. The Mavs got screwed (however, they remain at fault because of how terribly they handled it). So maybe the better proclamation is that the Miami Heat were so undeserving of that title that it hurt me as a sports fan.

Although it wasn't just that the right team won the 2011 NBA Championship, but how they won. It was almost an exact role reversal from 2006, except that the Mavs didn't need David Stern's intervention. Big lead in the series (although it was more pronounced than it actually was). Huge comeback planting seeds of doubt. Superstar crumbling in front of a nation. The way it all unfolded was like a movie. It was poetic justice at its finest. And it was beautiful.

2. The NBA would not be a beautiful sight if the Miami Heat won the 2011 NBA Finals, which was the biggest and best case of a pure team vs. a group of individuals that I have ever seen.

The Dallas Mavericks play a beautiful brand of basketball. Their passing abilities are brilliant enough to impress even Brazilian soccer fans. Their biggest strength was their belief in each other, and their collective drive towards one goal. Each and every player was ready to go to war because they believed their leaders deserved an NBA Championship. Most of the players made individual sacrifices for the betterment of the team (DeShawn and Marion come to mind first). None of them ever doubted Rick Carlisle, despite his deployed tactics that made little sense on the surface (Barea's promotion despite struggles). They believed in him. They were ready to sacrifice. And they wanted to win. As a team.

And now a word of wisdom on each of the Mavericks:

Dirk's drive
Terry's cajones
Kidd's calming presence
Barea's might
Marion's style
Chandler's tenacity
The Custodian's scrappiness
Haywood's free throws
DeShawn's N**** please 3's
Myanmar's silky smooth J
Peja's.......Peja's.......neckbeard!
Unidentified hype guy's fistpumps
Cuban's "Doesn't matter"s

And then you have the Miami pieces of sHeat. Their idea of a good offense was to sit around until the shot clock got low and then isolate 1 of their 3 studs to go 1-on-1. It wasn't basketball. In fact, it might have been the death of basketball. Professional sports leagues are full of copycats. When a team wins a Championship, everybody else looks at them to see how they did it. Then they try do that themselves. Can you imagine 28 other teams adopting that style of basketball?

I'm glad we don't have to. While some people might enjoy their chase at a repeat, I'd much rather see them face the pressure of trying to capture their first title once again. However, as great as next season might be....

3. We will never see another season quite like the NBA's 2010-11 season. LeBron's Decision may have been the biggest image boost combined with the biggest reputation hit we've ever seen. The act itself was as polarizing as the result. Never has something seemed so poorly thought out, only to turn out to be pure genius.

LeBron's wild ride of a season is something we will never forget. Suddenly everybody cared about the NBA again. Only they cared because they wanted to watch LeBron lose (or perhaps more importantly, see him fail). Yes, the Heat will be right back in the thick of the race next year, but it won't be the same. There's no way. Hatred tends to die down when given time, especially when there's reason to sympathize (and eventually he'll play a few of his cards correctly...right?). People wanted to see him fail right now. I think people are fine with him winning the next 8 titles as long as he lost this year. They wanted instant retribution.

Then you combine that with America's adopted hero, who happens to hail from a country most recognized by one of the world's biggest catastrophes ever. Talk about a redemption story. But people embraced Dirk. They sympathized with his past failures (see?). They could see how much it meant to him. They wanted him to win. There was a defiant good guy and a defiant bad guy (no matter how unlikely the casted roles seemed just 12 months ago) in the NBA Finals. That's what people want.

And then you have the actual games. Every one of them was undecided going into the 4th quarter. Games 2, 3, and 4 all came down to the last and final shot (Dirk make/Wade miss, Dirk miss, Miller miss) and will all be shown on ESPN Classic someday. Game 5 was the pinnacle of professional basketball in terms of hype and quality of play, with both teams playing well enough to win any other game of the series. Game 6 saw an underdog close out on the road to win their first NBA title of all time.

Plus, there was an actual dislike between the teams. Dirk and the Mavs despising Wade and the Heat because of the 2006 NBA Finals. Wade and LeBron mad like little school girls because everybody hated them. There was a stargazed feud that witnessed (!) LeBron's second fiddle act reach an all time high. And there was Dirk working on the proper pronunciation of "ig'nant." And there was (finally) a fight!

We saw the birth of a superstar, who gave us the "Genuine sports moment of 2011" (Sports Guy) with his escape act celebration. We saw many start to question The Unquestioned One, including a media member who may have swung the series (God bless Gregg Doyel). We saw His Dirkness become a legitimate fan of Chris Bosh (UnlikeABosh). We saw (but will soon forget) Juwan Howard and The Custodian playing crucial NBA Finals minutes. We saw Mario's Miracle versions II and III. We saw a Puerto Rican 5'8 NBA Finals difference maker. We saw an effective zone defense (first time in NBA Playoffs history?). We saw Jason Terry flash many skills, none more impressive than his prophetic tattoo. And we saw the Miami Heat wave the white (out) flag with time still on the clock in what was supposed to be their coronation.

Combine the great Finals with the beginning of a Golden Age in the NBA, and that's how you arrive at the best NBA Playoffs of all time. There were upsets like an 8 seed beating a 1. There were ahead-of-schedule contenders (Thunder) and enjoyable pretenders (Lakers). There was a series between two small market teams that people actually cared about. There was an undressing of an MVP, followed by an undressing of the world's best player. There was the antagonist juggernaut that seemed as dominant as advertised until the last act. And there were the protagonist underdogs who prevailed in the end. It all played out like it was a part of Hollywood.

Hollywood as hell.

His Dirkness

Dirk Nowitzki: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dirk Nowitzki's drive to the 2011 NBA Championship was the most impressive individual run that I've ever had the pleasure of supporting in my 25 years of existence (replacing Priest Holmes' 27 touchdown season). The least his blog namesake could do is scribble up a magnum opus on all things Dirk. So here goes...

"Dirk Nowitzki: The Man, The Myth, The Legend"

The Man - Dirk Nowitzki is one of the most uniquely talented, as well as spirited, athletes of all time.

Let me begin with his escape act celebration. I thought it was utterly fascinating. I'm still not sure what to make of it, other than the fact that I loved it. For starters, it was a breath of fresh air to see a champion's genuine emotions instead of watching Kobe seek out a camera so he could pump his fists and hold up fingers indicating whatever Championship he's on (it's 2 right?). But I loved the mystery of it all. There was no camera in the locker room to see him cry, ala Jordan. We're not even sure what he did back there. He said he cried, but did he just curl up into a ball? Was he all alone in the room? I believe anything up to and including him floating around the room in a full-lotused meditation is possible.

However, this wasn't even my favorite celebration moment of his from these playoffs. His Western Conference Championship walk out was a much bigger statement. There's a great chance he would've regretted not celebrating the moment with his teammates had they not win the NBA Finals right? It was the biggest proof we have that shows just what kind of mission he was on. He simply would not be denied this year.

His journey begins with his mentor, "The Godfather" Holger Geschwindner, who trained him with unorthodox (to say the least) drills, concentrating on spinning, fading, and jumping (leading to the tradition that is Dirk's pregame liftoff), as a teenager in Germany. He is the main reason Dirk is the most awkwardly dominant player in NBA history, and will forever be The Emperor to Dirk Vader.

However, The Godfather's teachings went above and beyond that of just basketball. He encouraged him to learn how to play a musical instrument (he dabbles on the gee-tar) and read literature (he's no philistine) to help him develop a well rounded personality.

And that's the beauty of Dirk, that his greatness goes so far beyond finally getting his deserved Championship. He has never been afraid to be himself. He's more into self-depracation than he is self-promotion (a line I keep repeating, but think of how rare that is in a culture like the NBA). He slouches in his chair and holds his own mic as he gives interviews (Scott Van Pelt's favorite thing in the world, ever). He gave us instant classics like "Take that witchuuu", "It's the old trick", and what might be the greatest photo roll of all time at the after party in Miami. However, it will be his Game 6 closeout face that is forever burned into my memory from 2011: The Year of Dirk.

The Myth - The idea that Dirk Nowitzki needed this NBA title to somehow validate his career, as if he wasn't great enough to get the job done before Sunday night, irks me.

However, that's not the only myth that needs to be addressed when it comes to Dirk. I think everybody needs to take a long, deep look at how they use the word "soft", because before these 2011 NBA Playoffs, you couldn't even discuss Dirk without that word getting thrown around. Despite the numbers never supporting this (mis)conception (even before this year), most people held on to the belief that Dirk couldn't get it done when it mattered.

Well, not only has Dirk obliterated that theory, but now I challenge you to come up with a player who is, in fact, more clutch (the direct opposite of soft, no?). Your first inclination might be Kobe Bryant, but the advanced statistics on the matter would laugh at you. Who else? Wade (it was fun watching him shoot free throws in 2006, but he could only dream of hitting shots as big as Dirk did this year)? Carmelo (possibly, but never has in big games)? LeBron? Mario Chalmers? (I'm only joking when I drop 1 of those 2 names). The only player I'd listen to in this argument would be Paul Pierce. That, my friends, is how a man goes from being soft to rock hard (lets see you crack a joke about that!).

Back to my original point though. Now that Dirk has officially become a champion, I feel this is the perfect time to say that the NBA severely overvalues winning titles (it took Dirk winning a title for me to not sound like a homer). They attempt to lump the world's best players into two categories - Players with a Championship and players who couldn't get it done - As if that player can control the excessive amount of variables that go into winning it all.

So if the Mavs never signed a good post counterpart for Dirk, it was somehow a fault of his? If Barea never got his game going, swinging the NBA Finals in the Mavs favor, that's on Dirk? It just never made sense to me to diminish so many great players' careers by including them on what Charles Barkley refers to as the "shit list." I say this does not invalidate a career, especially because the NBA is the hardest professional sport of all to win a Championship.


The Legend - I'm not interested in discussing where Dirk Nowitzki ranks as an all time NBA great, especially while his career is still unfolding. Top 20? Top 30? Who gives a shit?

The man should be remembered for how much unjust criticism he took (and how he handled it), how much he improved his game seemingly every year throughout his career (despite being in what should be the downside of his career), and how determined he was to win an NBA title (not to prove everybody wrong, but instead, for himself).

He should be remembered for his free throw shooting. A truly remarkable stretch when the spotlight shines bright on you, and you alone. 175-186 (94%) for the 2011 NBA Playoffs (amazingly, 7 of his 11 misses came in the Portland series). 24-24 in Game 1 of the Thunder series (an NBA record). Two separate streaks of 39 straight FT's made. 45-46 (97.8%) in the NBA Finals. We may never see anybody approach this again.

He should be remembered for denying Kobe's chance to tie Jordan with 6 Championships (for now, maybe forever) in a series that was an undeniable ass kicking.

He should be remembered for the 48 points he put up in Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, an effort that many would call the most efficient shooting night in NBA Playoffs history (12-15 from the floor, 24-24 from the line - 3 missed shots total). As well as leading the Game 4 comeback in Oklahoma City, when the Mavs trailed by 15 points with 5 minutes to play, with Dirk scoring 11 of the final 12 points in the 4th quarter. And last, but not least, for his series-ending 3 that put the Mavs ahead for good in Game 5.

Perhaps, most of all, he should be remembered for his performance in the NBA Finals when he outshone two stars that had dominated the hype all season (and series) long. Despite what may have been his worst series of the Playoffs, he came up big when it mattered most (equalling Wade and Bron's 4th quarter output of 62 points) on the stage that stopped him just short of achieving his dream 5 years ago.

The Game 2 comeback and game winner - After playing 3 quarters of truly awful basketball, filled with missed shots, turnovers, and the inability to calm his nerves, Dirk was able to turn it on the 4th quarter. The Mavs erased another 4th quarter deficit with Dirk scoring the final 9 points for the Mavs. First, it was Dirk's 3 that put the Mavs up with under 30 seconds, and then his spin, hesitate, and finish with the left hand (fresh off the injured finger) over Bosh to win the game, which may be the lasting image of Dirk's playoff run. Without this win, there's little-to-no chance the Dallas Mavericks win the NBA Championship.

Game 4 "The Sick Game" - How much did Dirk have to hate life after coming down with a 102 degree fever the night before/day of the must-win Game 4 of the NBA Finals? This was the game that I will always remember because the Mavs had no business winning. Trailing throughout most of the game, and with Dirk looking more and more like Gary Busey, the Mavs were able to persevere once again. Despite Wade and Bron publicly mocking Dirk for being sick, it was Dirk that publicly humiliated them by, once again, driving to the basket to seal the Heat's fate (I think it's totally awesome that Dirk, a notorious jump shooter, drove to the basket on the two biggest plays of his career).

Game 6 Closeout - 1-12 in the first half. Without a fever to blame this time, Dirk had nobody to look at but himself if he wanted to clinch his first NBA title. Or maybe it was as simple as Terry reminding him to "Remember 06" (and they said that wasn't a motivator). Making his first shot of the 2nd half may eventually become the most undervalued shot of his career. Miss that shot, and he may never get into a Game 6 rhythm. With all other players on the floor seemingly afraid to shoot down the stretch, it was Dirk who never allowed the Heat to go on a run, carrying them to a win, a clincher, and the franchise's first NBA Championship.

Isn't that the stuff that legends are made of?

The man. The myth. The legend.

Dirk Nowitzki.

His dirkness

Remember The Journey Mavs Fans

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We're one win away from my dream, what I've worked on for half of my life." -Dirk Nowitzki

One. More. Win.

I want to give Mavs fans my most genuine piece of advice in what could be my last post before they cut down the nets (the NBA does that right?) and bring home the franchise's first NBA Championship.

It's not the destination, it's the journey.

I really began to embrace this philosophy once concluding some of the most triumphant accomplishments of my life (not enough room to list them all out here). The most beautiful part about reaching the mountain top is looking back down to see just what got you there. All the bumps in the road become euphorically clear. "That's why this happened, this is why that happened." It all makes sense.

But there's also a small feeling of let down that sets in. A sort of "what now?" thought races through your mind. I didn't like it, and I wish that it hadn't, but it did. You've reached the top, accomplishing exactly what you've set out to accomplish, and yet, you're still the same person. I've actually hit rock bottom a few times after some of my greatest achievements. This is what turned me on to this belief as a young lad, and it has quickly evolved into a life philosophy that I abide by.

And yes, I do believe this sort of philosophy applies to being a fan of a sports team. I LONG for the day when I see the Chiefs win a Super Bowl. As great as this Mavericks run has been, it'll be dwarfed 100 times over by that day. But I know to enjoy the journey, embrace the hardships, and find the beauty in the pain of coming up short. Sunday could be a special, special day for the diehard Maverick fans out there. They've been through a lot with this team, and their dedication just might pay off after Game 6. Or it might not. You never know, and that's why sports are so beautifully representative of life itself.

So lets take a quick look, a short synopsis if you will, at the journey of Dirk and the Dallas Mavericks.

Pre-2011 - I don't have to tell you what has been said about this Dallas Mavericks team, or Dirk Nowitzki, in the past, but I will. They're soft. They can't get it done when it matters. They're soft. They're choke artists. Oh, and they're soft. They lost to this Miami Heat team in the NBA Finals, and frankly, it wasn't very fair. The Mavs were by no means innocent in what transpired, but if the NBA hadn't intervened then the Mavs would already have one title to their credit. Well, those who remained patient are one game away from being rewarded via karma. And as great as that title would have been, it wouldn't have come close to matching what this title will mean to Dirk, the Mavs, or you, the fans.

Portland series - All of the experts needed an upset to pick in the 1st round. None of them had the gall to pick Memphis over San Antonio (except for this one guy). A quick look at the teams with home court advantage revealed one team that came up short time and time again. So yeah, go ahead and pick against them. Then there was the Game 4 collapse, which prompted me to text my brother, "The Mavs are done." But what was I supposed to think? I have closely observed this team since the early 2000's, and I knew how fragile their psyche was. But isn't that what this team is all about - proving me and everybody else wrong?

Lakers series - The Mavs played about as well as a team could play in an NBA playoff series, crescendoing with their Game 4 close out win, the best team performance I've ever seen in the NBA Playoffs. They led by 24 at half. They hit 20 3-pointers as a team, including a combined 15-16 from Jason Terry and Stojanky Nutz. This was the series that forced the country to take this team seriously. They not only beat the defending NBA Champions, they bludgeoned them, and resorted them to taking multiple cheap shots out of utter embarrassment. This series was as good as it gets for a Dirk fan/Laker hater.

Must Read - Lakers Suck, Dirk Rules

Thunder series - Dirk's grand opus. Put together what may have been the most efficient game in NBA Playoffs history in Game 1, and it wasn't even his best game of the series. This is the series that officially cemented the Mavs as The Comeback Cripples (once was a fluke, twice was a coincidence, thrice is a trend) with 2 monstrous 4th quarter comebacks. This series also certified the newfound mental toughness of these Mavs, a team made up of a collections of misfits unified by their one and only goal, evidenced by Dirk Nowitzki wanting no part of the celebration that followed this series, the coolest thing I have ever seen in sports.

Must Read - The Key to the Dallas Mavericks' Success

NBA Finals - In what could be the greatest NBA Finals the game has ever seen (so good I think they should extend the series to 9 games), the Mavs' toughness and resolve have reached a whole new level. Despite injuries to Brendan Haywood, Shawn Marion, Dirk's finger, and Dirk's esophagus, the Mavs have slowly swung the power of the series in their favor. But it ain't over yet, not yet by a long shot. Mavs fans should want this more than anything. Getting revenge for 2006. Proving all the skeptics wrong. Dirk getting rewarded for what he so rightly deserves. This is your moment.

But don't forget the journey that came along with it.

One more win.

His Dirkness

LeBron and Wade - Bunch o' Bitches

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It dawned on me soon after watching the video of Dwyane Wade and Baby Bwon Bwon mocking The Man, himself, that I haven't spit enough venomous, irrational hate towards the Heat. And isn't that what being a fan is all about? I say yes.

{Note: For the record, I do not intend for this piece to be articulate, sensible, or even well written. This is unfiltered hatred aimed at a team that I believe completely deserves it. This isn't a post that I'd like to be judged on, and I might even regret writing it at some point. However, I want this to be written and will stand behind everything that I say.}

In case you have yet to see the video I'm referring to, here it is...




These two chumps are so fukkin ig'nant that I don't think they fully realize just how badly Dirk is kicking both of their asses right now. The idea is that when you mock somebody, you should be beating them (and even then it's kinda cheap) or be prepared to bring it. Well, LeBron is putting on one of the bitchiest performances of all time, and not even just in sports, but in life. And Wade opened himself up to an equal amount of mockery by questionably exiting Game 5 of the Finals (can't tell you how many people I heard question the validity of it all). Not to mention, that the use of mockery would only really be fitting if Dirk had lost the game for his team and then used his sickness as his excuse. Well, my sources tell me that the Mavs won that game and Dirk hit the big shots down the stretch. But don't worry, you guys looked plenty cool mocking the man that's currently whooping up on you.

Lets set the record straight before we get too far ahead of ourselves. Dwyane Wade gets up to the podium each and every day complaining about how nobody likes him or his teammates, and he can't figure out why (he usually goes into a tough guy routine about how it doesn't bother him and that his team is fine with it). Well, I'd buy that because of the team's success thus far, but then why would he continue to whine about it over and over? It's as if he's still in high school and doesn't have any friends, only those kids usually handle themselves better than Dwyane has - Congrats to your mother by the way, she spells about as well as Grandfather Favre. I'm sure she's a true scholar. I might be getting too personal, so before I feel any ounce of empathy for what I'm writing, I'd like to say fuck you, Wade, you're a whiny ass bitch.

Meanwhile, the 2nd man in this video. Ay, ay, ay, where do I start? Well, how about the way he follows D-Wade's lead in this video, as well as everything else he does. He, too, resembles a desperate, insecure high schooler who will do anything to be liked by his night and shining armor, Dwyane Wade. I think 'Bron may have disappointed Daddy Wade in Game 3 and he still hasn't gotten over it. I'm sure he cries himself to sleep at night wishing that he would've handled the situation differently, calling Wade in the middle of the night begging for his forgiveness, only Wade is tired of listening to him complain about his menstruation problems.

LeBron remember when you used to be your own man and followed every one of Jay-Z's moves? Oh wait, I guess you have always been a follower. There's no surer sign of a weak individual than somebody who is afraid to be himself. "I'm gonna do what everybody else does in effort to be cool and fit in." That just might be his motto. Or maybe being so afraid of failure that you don't even try is weaker. Tough to say. Hopefully, PTI does a Toss-up on it next week. However, I think one is a cowardly act in sports, while the other relates more to overall life. Good thing he has them both covered.

My guess is that these guys might figure this all out someday and look back on this embarrassingly. Their kids might even ask them about it, and If they were any kind of men they might own up to it and explain the errors in their way. But they would have to dump truckloads of ignorance to ever reach that point. To these two, they can do no wrong. This is their world and everybody else is just visiting. If they lose, it's their fault, and if they win it's because of their excellence. Their level of entitlement is so far off the charts it's unreal. Good luck with your 8 Chumpionships.

Woo, that felt good. This LeBrant isn't really indicative of how I feel right now, entrenched in the middle of possibly the best NBA Finals of all time. However, I felt the need to stick up for my man, who is in no position to respond (except for on the court) to these two clowns.

Go Dirk, Go Mavs, Fuck the Heat,

His Dirkness

10 Thoughts on LeBron

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been trying to stay solely focused on the Dallas Mavericks throughout these NBA Finals because of the mostly one-sided focus of the national media, but The LeBhronicles have become too damn fascinating. And who doesn't like a Top 10 list? So here goes...

(Note: Michael Jordan's name will not make one appearance in this write-up after this paragraph. The fact that any and every good player gets compared to MJ on a game-to-game basis is an incredibly lazy and elementary train of thought. To make Lebron out as a failure simply because he doesn't measure up to Jordan is absurdly ridiculous. Anybody who states "Jordan would never have done that" in reference to LeBron deserves to be mushroom stamped by a big, fat LeBroner. End rant.)

1. All of the LeBronalysis that followed the LeBreltdown is leading up to tonight's crescendo, in what could be the most intriguing game the NBA has produced since Michael J.....damnit! Since No-Tippin' Pippen and the Chicago Bulls won their last Championship in 1998 (and that's only what most people would say, I'd say ever). Not only is the power of an NBA Championship on the line, a title that would be the first for each of the team's biggest stars. But can you remember a game with so much significance placed on one man's shoulders? Whether LeBron plays good or bad, he's going to be the story. And every action of his on the court is fair game. How will he react? With what we've seen from him before, anything from another single digit no-show to a 50-point takeover is possible. Hell, I wouldn't rule out him giving birth to a baby hippo at midcourt, AND THEN hitting the game winning shot. One thing is for sure, for better or worse, and whether he likes it or not, LeBron has all of our eyes directly on him.

2. Lebron has played mostly bad in the NBA Finals and was truly awful in Game 4. However, the most interesting part of his Game 4 meltdown wasn't that he played a bad game (because everybody has bad games), it was how eager he was to disappear. Have you ever seen a 6'9, 270 pound man try to hide in an arena filled with 19,600 people that happens to be on television with over 16 million people watching from home? Well, if you watched Tuesday night's game then you did. While much of the Game 3 criticism was unfair, it was foreshadowingly clear that he wanted no part in being a deciding factor of the game, or the series. He seemed so afraid of failing that he didn't even try, which is cowardly - and I don't like saying that - I'd much rather hurl that insult Jay Cutler's way, who actually went through a very similar situation in the NFC Championship Game this year - but it is very cowardly.

3. I wouldn't label LeBron as a choker, but when he does start to feel the pressure, he feels it immensely. And he shuts down in an unbelievable fashion. Like "Are you sure LeBron is still playing?" fashion. Like "Oh my god, is one of his teammates sleeping with his Mom?" fashion. The first big case of it was seen in last year's Game 5 loss to the Boston Celtics. But, Game 4 of these Finals may have been a bigger, better, and brighter example.

4. The most surprising part of the Game 4 LeBreltdown might have been what happened before it. Jason Terry, who likes to talk, and who had been shut down by LeBron in the previous 3 games, called him out, saying that he wants to see if LeBron continue to shut him down throughout the entirety of the series. Everybody thought he was crazy. You're gonna call out LeBron after he already had enough motivation coming off a game where he received a tremendous amount of criticism despite winning? However, it's impossible to say it didn't work. I wouldn't pinpoint it as the main reason for LeBron's poor performance, but it very well could've been a factor. And yes, it was Terry shaking free from LeBron and hitting the two most important shots of Game 4. Did the words play a part in his intimidated demeanor, or was it simply the moment?

5. The other theory about the causation of the LeBreltdown is that he is somewhat sensitive. Was he sensitive from the tongue lashing he got via Dwyane Wade down the stretch of Game 3? Or was he sensitive from the infamous Gregg Doyel question, when he asked him about shrinkage ('it shrinks? Yes, like a frightened turtle')? Was all of that in his head? Did it lead to him questioning himself and his game? Was the talk of Wade winning the Finals MVP over him a factor? Was he affected by the talk of The Rapture? Will we ever find out the answers to any of these questions? How many questions can I write in a row? Answer - 8.

6. The biggest LeSponse being tossed around is that 'Bron is simply fatigued - physically, mentally, and emotionally. He played every single game this season with an eff-U attitude aimed at the rest of the league, because of how everybody responded to The Decision. He's played atleast 39 minutes (usually in the 45-46 minute range) in every playoff game. The solution to this seems simple enough (rest him more during games), while the blame has to fall squarely on Erik Spoelstra (for not resting him more during the inconsequential regular season). I expect to see him take a few breathers in tonight's Game 5, while I expect the Mavs to run Jason Terry in circles if they stick LeBron on him again.

7. Even at his very worst, LeBron is still comparable to, say, Rajon Rondo. He still dished out 7 assists, including a length of the court outlet pass that hit D-Wade in stride, giving him a chance to tie the game at the free throw line with 30 ticks left. He still came down with 9 rebounds. He still came to the postgame presser in an olive green blazer. He still....well, that's all I got, but I fulfilled my obligation to include one optimistic thought!

8. LeBron has never had to work hard for what he's wanted. Everything has always been handed to him. He was born with the athleticism that makes him the most talented basketball player in the world. He became a household name in high school before he'd ever really accomplished anything. He didn't stay in Cleveland trying to make it work. He came to Miami expecting Championships to be handed to him. He might just not know how to work hard for what he wants, but this could be developed over his career.

9. The polarization of LeBron is fantastic for sports and NBA fans. While his fans remain insecure without a go-to argument like Kobe's 5 rings, the haters remain terrified of what will happen if he gets his head on straight. However, the point that most of his fans are missing when they complain about the amount of hate he endures, is that it's a tremendous sign of respect. It's his greatness that leads to polarization like that. Remember that if you're a LeBron fan and you've taken on the attitude of the Heat, whining every chance you get about how everybody is rooting against you. A non-response might be more telling than an articulate response. People would stop hating pretty fast.

10. I wonder if LeBron would change his Decision knowing everything that he knows now. All the hate, all the criticism. Is it worth it? Would one Championship as the top dog outweigh multiple as something of a sidekick (might be able to ask Dirk after this series)? Would he prefer to go back to being beloved by a city (and a country) at the risk of never winning a ring? Has this been experience been anything like he imagined (there's no way right?)? This is a question that will never get answered because LeBron has to live with the results and would never admit that he made the wrong choice. It was the choice he made. It was - The Decision.

His Dirkness