NFL Power Rankings ~ Week 8

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Previous Rankings

Preseason

Week 3

Week 8 Powah Rankin's

The Juggernaut

1. Green Bay Packers - Hard to argue right now. Still waiting to see that adversity though. I'll be impressed if and when it comes and goes.

The Buffalo Bills 4-peaters

2. Pittsburgh Steelers - That's what happens when you give a good team playing at home no chance all week long.

3. Buffalo Bills - Extremely impressed by their resume. Even their loss to the Bengals doesn't seem so bad now.

4. New Orleans Saints - I kneaux, I kneaux. It doesn't make sense, but I refuse to believe this team is as bad as they sheauxed.

5. New York Giants - Can't believe nobody's talking about the team playing in the nation's biggest city in the NFL's premier division.

6. Baltimore Ravens - They're gonna be 'that' team. Could see them stomping Pittsburgh for a second time, and then losing to Cleveland to miss the playoffs.

The Hova - Rateds

7. New England Patriots - Can you imagine the number of Super Bowls they'd have if Bill Belichick still believed in defense?

8. San Francisco 49ers - Seven games doesn't erase seven years of memories of Alex Smith.

9. Detroit Lions - Annoying frontrunners. So full of themselves that they'll fold if they're not clicking on all cylinders. I see a lack of grit. Want things handed to them.

My Sleeper

10. Houston Texans - Have a chance to rack up wins in a cake division in a conference without an elite team. Sounds dangerous to me. Stayed afloat with Andre Johnson out.

The Derek Fucking Foreals?

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Haven't played up to par but there's something about this team. I think Josh Freeman wins a Super Bowl in his career.

12. Kansas City Chiefs - Actually have a worse point differential (-42) on the season than the 1-6 Arizona Cardinals (-40).

13. Cincinnati Bengals - Placed a $12.50 bet on them to win the AFC North. Pays out $1,000 for the win. No, I'm not shitting you. You can literally go on BetUS.com and make the same bet right now (this is legal right?).

The Old n' Borings

14. New York Jets - CAN'T WAIT till somebody shuts Rex Ryan up for good.

15. Atlanta Falcons - There's nobody I root harder against for no apparent reason than Matt Ryan.

16. San Diego Chargers - No team receives more unjust due than the Chargers. Everybody just face it - they aren't good.

The NFC Queefs

17. Dallas Cowboys - Can't figure out how they're not good. They should be good right? Yea, they will be good. Lets go ahead and put them in the playoffs.

18. Philadelphia Eagles - Remind me of the 2004 Kansas City Chiefs. Horrible start, capable of blowing teams out, but never really had "it."

19. Washington Redskins - Won't forgive them for benching my boy, G-Rex.

The Please Don't Make Me Watch Em's

20. Chicago Bears - They're doing the smart thing by not paying Matt Forte. Because...

21. Tennessee Titans - You might never see an NFL team pay a running back again after this Chris Johnson (CJ2.8) display.

The Must See TV Team of Whom I Haven't Even Seen Yet

22. Carolina Panthers - CAAAAMMMMMM!!! Still hasn't received the necessary credit for single-handedly dominating College Football last year. Thank you pointless NCAA allegations!

Good and Evil

23. Oakland Raiders - Carson Palmer is going to flop HARD. Remember when he sucked for the last five years? Yea, me too.

24. Denver Broncos - Who'll be the first person to personalize a Tebow '666' jersey? Hey now. You stay classy, Dirkness.

The Mighty Fiesties

25. Jacksonville Jaguars - Good defense. How bout that?

26. Minnesota Vikings - Christian Ponder eh? Whatever...

27. Miami Dolphins - I literally believe there are five worse teams than the 0-7 Dolphins.

Six to Threes

28. Cleveland Browns - No team's record will be more inflated with unimpressive wins than Nick Wright's Cleveland Browns.

49er Fodder

29. Seattle Seahawks - Where 67,000 > 53.

30. St. Louis Rams - What would you give up for Sam Bradford? A first rounder? Could be the funnest NFL discussion of the offseason.

31. Arizona Cardinals - Hey Larry Fitz, are you enjoy the Kevin Kolb era?

The Cheaters

32. Indianapolis Colts - I'll hate them as much as I can hate a team if they get Andrew Luck. I wonder if they're still pumping in fake crowd noise when they're trying to lose?

His Dirkness

Chiefs/Raiders Rivalry Video Breakdown

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First, the Oakland Raiders pull off a rarely seen midseason blockbuster trade for QB Carson Palmer, then the news that he is projected to start this Sunday against the Chiefs, and I think we have ourselves the top billing game of the NFL weekend.

There's also the celebratory fact that the Kansas City Chiefs are playing a meaningful game in 2011. A win on Sunday and the Halloween Monday Nighter against the San Diego Chargers becomes the hottest ticket in town (I'm gonna go as 13-year old Andy Reid).

To get in the spirit of Raider Week, I began watching videos on YouTube and came across this beauty entitled "Chiefs vs. Raiders: The History of the Rivalry" which seems to have aired last year on NFL Network (not sure how I missed this). I've decided to give this video the Sports Guy style breakdown that it truly deserves.

Here's the vid...



0:00 - The song for this video is super awesome. Does anything beat the music for NFL Films videos? Similar to any video being funny to the Benny Hill Theme Song, I think you could put any football video to this music and it becomes unequivocally riveting. I think I'll make this song my alarm for Sunday morning afternoon.

0:13 - Of all the hits in this video that would be declared illegal in today's NFL, this completely unnecessary flying clothesline off the top turnbuckle may have been the most illegal.

0:23 - This is the result of adults played the children's game Red Rover.

0:36 - "The Kansas City Chiefs: They were a team that projected the image that Hank Stram wanted to project - A dapper outfit." This is a pretty cool reputation.

0:42 - John Madden smoking a cigarette on the sideline of an NFL game. Has anybody else dominated three aspects of the sporting world as well as Jaaaaahn? His winning percentage as a head coach ranks 2nd all time. He popularized such words as "Boom!", "Whap!", "Bang!" and "Doink!" as an announcer (thanks Wiki). And yet everybody born after 1990 will remember him as The Godfather of sports video games. WAIT A SECOND...is that a hooter he's smoking? I'm becoming a bigger Madden fan by the minute.

0:50 - 0:57 - This series of hits on former Chiefs QB Lenny Dawson is in dire need of a few Wilhelm screams.

1:00 - Is that an interview with an active Kenny Stabler? He's a damn drunken bumpkin. I imagine him wearing Hillbilly Jim overalls during that interview with a pint of Old Crow in the breast pocket.

1:08 - And clearly Stabler is racist...

1:10 - What's with all the clothesline hits? Did those get outlawed at some point and time or just go out of style?

1:20 - Calm down...PHIL

1:28 - I distinctly remember my dad owning that same hat that sits upon Marty Schottenheimer's head. I guess the NFL didn't charge $40 for anything players or coaches wore back then because my dad wouldn't have paid that.

1:47 - "And the Raiders would make up their own rules" as we see Al Davis sporting an all white jumpsuit.

1:55 - What's the context of "the bastards got 3 points"? Was Marty encouraging the defense because they held them to a field goal? Was he pissed that his defense allowed them to even score 3 points? Or was he referring to his own offense as the bastards and thought that 3 points was enough for his defense?

2:02 - 2:24 - My love for obscure 90's Chiefs players is in sensory overload. Bill Maas, Dave Kreig, JJ Birden, Todd McNair, Leslie O'Neal, Chester McGlockton, Bam Morris (I demand to know where Donnell Bennett and Dino Hackett are). I almost cried right along with Marty.

2:17 - The Oakland QB right there is Donald Hollas. I thought I knew of every starting NFL QB of that era, especially within the division, but I have never heard of this dude. He went to Rice. And he led the Raiders to four straight wins in 1998! However, he threw 6 INT's in his final start. Three months later, the Raiders signed Rich Gannon.

2:29 - Greg Hill sighting!!!

2:51 - Documented proof that Thomas Jones can gain more than 5 yards in a single run.

2:57 - Darren McFadden leads the best rushing attack in the NFL against Kansas City this week. The Chiefs run defense has been secretly awesome this season (especially in the past three games). Shut down Oakland this week and they are officially for real. I feel you need to be dominant in one aspect of the game to be a real contender and the Chiefs lost that when Jamaal Charles went down. In other words, you'll learn everything you need to know about this team on Sunday. But first, one last brawl...

3:03 - Who knew Lenny D was so wily on the move like that? He's got wheels.

3:14 - Definitive punch to the groin.

3:18 - Look at Raider #84. I can't make out his name but I'm sure it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. Perhaps he needs to have a sit down with overstimulated Phil from the 1:20 mark.

3:24 - Clearly the Chiefs won that fight.

Go Chiefs,
His Dirkness

Picking 25 College Football Games (ATS)

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By my count, I need to go 14-11 to finish in the black.

1. North Carolina (+3) over Miami, Fla - Jacory Harris seems overdue for a four interception game. - LOSS

2. Penn St. (-12) over Purdue - Tough to score on the Nittanies, and I think they'll score over 13. - LOSS

3. Indiana (+39.5) over Wisconsin - I believe!!!! - LOSS

4. Florida St. (-12) over Duke - Blue Devils not bad this year, Seminoles not good. Easy money right? Right... - WIN

5. Clemson (-7.5) over Maryland - Tigers aren't just winning games this year, they're blowing teams out. - WIN

6. Virginia Tech (-6) over Wake Forest - Demon Deacons (best nickname in College) been slipping by, it won't last. - WIN

7. South Carolina (-3) over Mississippi St. - Bulldogs haven't recovered from losing to Auburn in their opener. - LOSS

8. Iowa St. (-16) over Missouri - By a Gary Pinkel 2 point conversion chart. - LOSS

9. Utah (+6.5) over Pittsburgh - Panthas lost by 24 to Rutgers last week. 'Nuff said. - WIN

*10. Baylor (+8) over Texas A&M - These two teams are even, no? - LOSS

11. Tennessee (+17) over LSU - Tigers will regret their impending QB controversy. - LOSS

12. Michigan St. (-3) over Michigan - My most eagerly anticipated game of Saturday. - WIN

*13. Illinois (-3) over Ohio St. - The Buckeyes are bad. Real bad. Trust me. - LOSS

14. Louisville (+15) over Cincinnati - Cardinals defense actually pretty good. Charlie Strong. - WIN

15. Alabama (-27.5) over Ole Miss - Ol' Dirty won't score, which means Bamarama has to reach 28 to cover. - WIN

16. Auburn (+2.5) over Florida - Gators' QB probably won't play. - WIN

*17. Oklahoma (-35.5) over Kansas - The worst defense in BCS conference history?

18. Boise St. (-32.5) over Colorado St. - Broncos always seem to cover in these kinds of games. - WIN

19. Stanford (-21) over Washington St. - I am now anti-Andrew Luck. Fuck a Luck. - WIN

20. Vanderbilt (+11) over Georgia - The Commodores put up a fight against 'Bama last week. - LOSS

21. Oklahoma St. (-7) over Texas - The Longhorns were exposed last week. Cowboys are comparable to Sooners. - WIN

22. Kansas St. (+3.5) over Texas Tech - They keep making the Wildcats underdogs and they keep winning. - WIN

23. Northwestern (+6) over Iowa - Wanted to go against the Wildcats for screwing me last week (up 10, couldn't finish within 10), but this line seems off. - LOSS

24. Arizona St. (+14) over Oregon - Sun Devils underrated, LaMichael James done broke his arm.

25. Washington (-16) over Colorado - Huskies should be ranked, Buffaloes are turrible. - WIN

* = Dirkensheed

His Dirkness