NBA Finals Player Power Rankings

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NBA Finals, baby! And we got a good one. As much as I wanted the Celtics to beat the Heat, I must admit that the Finals are better with the Heat vs. Thunder (by the way, will The Weather Channel be broadcasting these games?). We've got two noteworthy teams. We've got the two best players in basketball with the throne on the line. And we've got a team to definitively root for. What more could you ask for? Leggo...

1. Kevin Durant, Oklahoma City Thunder.

The most historically successful strategy for a star player to win in the NBA goes like this: Get all of your teammates involved for three quarters, seize control whenever your team goes through a lull, and then take over come the 4th quarter. Michael Jordan did this better than anybody. Kobe Bryant struggled with this idea internally, but found his greatest successes following this formula. It took Dirk Nowitzki to the mountain top last season. Slim Thugga followed this blueprint to a tee in the Western Conference Finals. It was impressive to watch. I give Durant the advantage over Lebron simply because he has become more trustworthy in the 4th quarter. For an 82 game season? Give me Lebron. For Game 7 of the NBA Finals? Give me Durant. In a 7 game series for the right to be called the best basketball player in the world? Well, we're about to find that out.

2. Lebron James, Miami Heat.

Lebron James is a lot like Tim Tebow. No, seriously. And here's why. Both their biggest fans and their biggest critics are exactly right. Yes, Lebron James is the best basketball player in the world (contrary to my rankings, there's a difference between being the best and being the most successful). And yes, he has clearly struggled down the stretch of important games before. Now, take Tim Tebow. Yes, he's a terrible quote, unquote quarterback. But yes, something in his DNA breeds winning football games. (The ironic part is that the two players' successes are directly inversive to one another). Not many athletes can prove their biggest fans and their biggest critics right on a nightly basis. My suggestion for enjoying the spectacle of it all? Sit firmly on the fence. Because hopping down on either side of the fence doesn't allow you to enjoy all of the many aspects offered to us by Lebron James. Marvel at him with the ball in the open court. Criticize him for shooting too many jump shots. Appreciate his hunger to dominate every single time he steps on an NBA court. Question his hot potato instincts that kick in with the game on the line. You're doing yourself an injustice by blindly following one side or the other (ahem, Nick Wright). Embrace both sides of the most compelling athlete of our time. Trust me.

3. Russell Westbrook, OKCT (like TMNT).

Westbrook is downright scary. For both his team's fans, and his opponent's team's fans. Because of his style of play, Russell "Stringer" Westbrook can singlehandedly win or lose a game for his team. If he's hitting his shot from the elbow, he's damn near unstoppable. When he loses control, and starts wildly driving to the basket, he becomes something of a liability. Westbrook, and the Thunder, are at their best when he's taking the same amount of shots as Kevin Durant, something to keep your eye on throughout the Finals. P.S. I had totally forgotten that Westbrook signed a 5 year extension this past offseason, all but guaranteeing the immediate future for this Thunder team. That could be a damn shrewd move, especially if they were to win it all this offseason, erasing any doubts that Westbrook might want to go be "the man" elsewhere.

4. Dyanwe Wdae, Maimi Haet.

My most hated player in the NBA. I don't like people with a strong sense of entitlement. I don't like people that feel the need to advertise what type of person they are (look how tough I am guys! I keep getting up after all my self-inflicted flops to the ground!). I don't like people who mock my namesake and then get their asses kicked. I don't like players who get handed NBA Titles for little to no reason. I don't like players who won't face the media after a loss. I don't like players who get off scott free, while their teammate, who is better, faces the scrutiny of the world. And I don't like you, Dwyane. The only good part about watching Wade take part in another series is that I get to continue my Hye Dnwyae series.

5. Chris Bosh, Miami Heat.

It'll be interesting to see what role Bosh plays in these Finals. I think I liked him better coming off the bench for this Heat team. He seemed to play with more energy and showed no rust whatsoever on his jumpshots. Is that purely because he's coming off the bench? No, probably not. But if you got something that's working for him, why change? Also, I've never understood the logic behind starting your best 5 players. Anybody notice that the Sixth Man Award has recently rotated between Manu Ginobili (Spurs), Jason Terry (Mavericks), Lamar Odom (Lakers), and now James Harden (Thunder)? Those are the most successful teams in the NBA. There's an irrefutable pattern there. P.S. I fully expect Spoelstra to move Bosh into the starting lineup and watch him flounder.

6. Serge Ibaka, Okc Thunder.

Iblocka. Chewbaka. I block you. Interested to see what role Ibaka plays as well. While Ibaka is a terrific shot blocker (most shot blocks per game since Theo Ratliff's expiring contract in 2000-01), I'm not sure if he's a great on the ball defender (my best evidence is Dirk roasting him in last year's WCF). So, while I think Ibaka will start out on Bosh, I think he'll eventually be the Thunder's only big man in a smaller lineup, and will feel free to roam the lane off of Udonis Haslem.

7. James Harden, Thunder.

Amazing that a rising star in the league could be the 7th best player in these NBA Finals. And he's hot right now. Harden shot 61% from 3-point range against the Spurs. He also had the balls to hit the biggest shot of that series, a Paul Pierce-esque three with 30 seconds left in Game 5. He is also foul call dependent, benefitting from a tightly called game as much as anybody. Harden is the ultimate X-factor because he is the 4th option that the Heat don't have.

8. Mario Chalmers, Heat.

Or do they? Chalmers has blossomed into a legitimate NBA point guard. I know this because I've been rooting against him for two straight years, so all homerism has been removed from the equation. He's gotten downright crafty at finishing around the rim lately, polishing off a nice floater that Jeff Van Gundy will rant and rave about ("every guard in the NBA needs that shot"). My favorite running joke of these NBA playoffs so far? Remember the days when Dwyane Wade was better than Mario Chalmers.

9. Thabo Specialosha, 'Der.

My favorite of all the role players in this series. This will be the man assigned to stop Lebron James. Is he up for the task? I dunno, but he HAS to be a better choice than Brandon Bass (Seriously, Doc? Brandon Bass? BRANDON BASS?!?). He's got the quickness and height to hang with him. And I'm not sure if Lebron's post up game is polished enough yet to take advantage of the size difference. I think he'll do a solid job.

10. Shane Battier, Heatles.

He was great in Game 7 against Boston. The Heat don't win without his 3-point shooting in that game. He'll always make the smart play. Can never be trusted because of his wrinkly head.

11. Nick Collison, oKC.

One of my favorite players to watch in the NBA. He'll never get the respect he deserves because of his dorky style of play, but I love it. Great hands, great feet, tough, efficient scorer, rebounder, and defender. Immensely underrated. I think he plays a bigger role in this series than...

12. Kendrick Perkins, Dun 'Der Cheap.

Not the series for The Big Scowl. Kendrick brings one big strength to the table - post defense. But the Heat don't have any players that score in the post. With his strength all but negated, Perkins becomes somewhat of a liability against a smaller, quicker lineup. I think Perkins keeps his spot in the starting lineup but plays less than 20 minutes a game the latter half of the series.

13. Udonis Haslem, Heatorade.

I have absolutely nothing to say about Haslem.

14. Derek Fisher, Laker 4 Life.

Hits big shots. Seriously bad defender.

15. James Jones, Souff Beach.

Don't understand why this sharpshooter doesn't see more time on the pine. He's deadly from outside.

16. Mike Miller, Welcome to Miami, Bienvenido a Miami.

Ever wondered what a punk rocker with a broken back would look like in an NBA Finals game?

17. Joel Anthony, Heat.

I love when he goes to the free throw line and everybody sitting at home simultaneously thinks, "Huh, I didn't know he was left handed."

18. Cole Aldrich, Thunder.

Has really refined his bench game. We may be seeing the next Mark Madsen blossoming right before our eyes.

19. Juwan Howard, Michigan Wolverines.

Two minutes.........DOS!

26. Lazar Hayward, Okc.

#ThunderTits. If you don't know yet, you will soon.

Go Thunder,

His Dirkness

The Answer to the Miami Heat's Problems

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My infatuation with the Miami Heat continues. As I attempt to decide if I'm rooting for them or against them before the NBA Playoffs start, one thing is for sure, I can't take my eyes off of them. The Knicks-Heat game the other night was truly fantastic, and I even watched it with some knowledge of how things turned out. They are the most fascinating team in NBA history (which is to say, my history, which doesn't extend much beyond my fairly limited knowledge obtained in the post-Jordan era). Notice how I boast the Dallas Mavericks as my favorite team in the NBA, and even maintain the monicker His Dirkness (in tribute to two of my idols - The Dude and Dirk Nowitzki - for those of you who weren't in the know), and yet haven't watched more than three of their games all season. They can't come close to matching the interest level of the Miami Heat right now.

However, I must interject right quick about a current power struggle between my ears pertaining to my favorite team in the League. The New York Knicks were the team I was born and raised on because my brother was big into thuggery, to the likes of Charles Oakley and Anthony Mason (although I was a young tyke at the time, so I supported their guards like John Starks and Chris Childs - and even got me to cheer on Nebraska heartbreaker Charlie Ward). However, the Knicks have been so bad the last decade that I was almost forced to pick a new team. Enter Mark Cuban, Steve Nash, and Dirk Nowitzki. But now, the New York Knicks are back baby (!) with a roster full of new players that I all like. Amar'e Qwang-Zilla Stoudemire is a black jew, who sports the goggles, and shares a strong resemblance to my white-commonly-mistaken-as-jewish friend. Carmelo Anthony earned my respect downing KU in the National Championship Game and for standing as the lone exception to the rule that a freshman can't lead a college team to a N.C. Also, he's extremely fun to watch because he's a big body and likes to play physical (just like the old Knicks!). Chauncey Billups...well, it's just fun to say Chaunnnsay. The good news for me is that they play in separate conferences, now giving me a favorite team in the East and the West.

Back to the Miami Heat, who, despite their semi-gaudy 43-18 record, have struggled against the other elite teams in the league. It's bizarre to me how much they have truly become LeBron's team. Dwyane Wade has evolved from The Factor (remember when he cheated his way to an NBA title?) to The X-Factor to the Non-Factor. I forget he's even on the team when I watch the Heat. In fact, I can hardly tell a difference between last year's Cavaliers team and this year's Heat team. It's all LeBron. This got me to thinking, how could they maximize their talents? I thought about when they were at their best and when they were at their worst, which led me to one overriding question...

Has an NBA team ever deployed an all out 48-minute full court press?

Think about how perfect the Miami Heat are built for it. For starters, LeBron is completely unstoppable in transition. Once he starts the locomotive, you ain't stoppin it. Then you throw in D-Wizzly, who would make a perfect high-flying sidekick. Then you got the Heat's third most important player, Mario Chalmers (HA! #LikeABosh) who would be perfectly casted in a full court press style with his instincts and quick hands (interesting to note, that the Miami crowd turned on Mario last game, apparently chanting "Mario Sucks" during the game).

This move also downplays their worst aspect of play, their half court offense. It has been well-reported that they have struggled in close games, mostly because they can't operate on offense down the stretch. I have noticed that there's an effective way to guard LeBron by playing off of him and letting him shoot jump shots because A. He will shoot them and B. He's not that good at them. Suddenly, LeBron becomes LeBroff. Dwyane Wade starts wandering why his name is spelled so goofy and can be spotted swattin' flies in the corner. And Chris Bosh, well, he stays Chris Bosh.

I haven't even mentioned the pure surprise factor if they did unleash this strategy. NBA teams wouldn't be ready to handle it. Plus, a strategy like this elongates the game, which leads to the superior team winning at a higher percentage rate (an outmatched team will almost always try to slow a game down). Shouldn't the Miami Heat be a superior team to teams like the Bulls and Knicks (maybe not the Lakers or Celtics just yet because of their chemistry)?

I'm sure an NBA junkie could give tons of reasons why this idea wouldn't work (for starters, how does Erik Spoelstra get any of his players to listen to him?). I'm also sure many of those same people thought that the Miami Heat would coast to an NBA title this year. However, they might be right that it wouldn't work, but I won't believe it until I see it with my own eyes.

One thing is for sure, the future is bright for the NBA. I am unbelievably excited for the Playoffs. And I didn't even get a chance to delve into the reinvigorated Heat-Knicks rivalry, with the 1-on-1 matchup that everybody has wanted to see since they came into the league: Bron v. Melo.

His Dirkness

2010 NBA Draft Live Diary

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First news is that the Chicago Bulls might be trading Kirk Hinrich to the Washington Wizards, freeing up enough cap space enabling them to go after two max-contract players in free agency. Imagine LeBron or D-Wade paired with Carlos Boozer or Chris Bosh. All on top of Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. Hellooooooooooooo.

On to the draft...

Wizards- John Wall- Can't help but imagine him using his dance in the bedroom.

76ers- Evan Turner- My main assist man, D-Tuck, drops off this dime: he strongly resembles a Sesame Street character.

Kings- DeMarcus Cousins- Only two years away from the unavoidable John Calipari scandal at Kentucky leading to him coaching Cousins along with another Calipari Cronie, Tyreke Evans, in Sacramento.

Warriors- Ekpe Udoh- Taking a dump in his first professional interview is a great start.

Pistons- Greg Monroe- Higher on him now than I was when I made my predictions.

Clippers- Al-Farouq Aminu- Ridiculous looking glasses.

Jazz- Gordon Hayward- As if he wasn't white enough already, now he plays for the Utah Jazz.

Pacers- Paul George- His name says it all.

Hornets- Cole Aldrich- Everything is so great man, I'm so happy, golly gee. Nice looking teeth though. TRADED to Thunder.

Grizzlies- Xavier Henry- Bilas claims he's purely a spot up shooter as they show repeated highlights of him driving to the basket. The only three times he did it all year, but still. Ironically, Xavier ends up in Memphis where he should have spent last year watching Mario Little and the Jayhawks host the National Championship.

Raptors- Ed Davis- Before the Toronto Raptors pick a USA chant breaks out. Is this aimed at Canadians or just a product of US Soccer sweeping the nation?

Rockets- Patrick Patterson- He's a big soccer fan and is cheering for Spain. Also supports the Yankees, Lakers, and oddly enough, Duke.

Bucks- Larry Sanders- I heard his show is pretty damn funny. Reminds me of Theo Ratliff, the dude that was so overpaid that he was mentioned in every trade rumor of the last decade.

Timberwolves- Luke Babbitt- Atleast this year's picks will actually show up and/or communicate with the team unlike Ricky Rubio. Hopefully...

Bulls- Kevin Seraphin- Fran Fraschilla loves the pick. Dirkness love the pick. We have that kind of relationship. Love drafting foreigners post-lottery.

Thunder- Eric Bledsoe- Stu Scott says they gave the Lakers their toughest series of the playoffs. How wasted was he during the Finals? Love the fake cheering from Durant for a player that he knows won't be on their team. TRADED to Clippers.

Celtics- Avery Bradley- How fast he can adjust to the Celtics strategy of taking the entire season off will determine his success. Was the number one rated high school player and the 470th best college player last year.

Spurs- James Anderson- The Spurs thrive with their late first round draft picks by usually taking successful college players. Now that's what I call advanced thinking.

Thunder- Craig Brackins- Big 12 Run continues. TRADED to Hornets.

Blazers- Eliot Williams- Never heard of him. Possible explanation is that they fired their awesome General Manager, Kevin Pritchard, effective after the draft. AFTER the draft. He's making picks for a team that just fired him. The team that he has completely rebuilt. I would've drafted a kindergartner. Or the best player in the Leavenworth Penitentiary League. Actually I might do that if I were trying to win.

Timberwolves- Trevor Booker- How miserable must it be to know that you'll be spending your first few NBA years (supposed to be filled with hoes, blunts, and making it rain) in cold ass Minnesota? OHHHHH TRADED to Wizards. There goes that.

Hawks- Damion James- How many Big 12 players we at now? Answer: Too many. TRADED to Nets.

Grizzlies- Dominique Jones- I would've taken the red thing from the KIA commercials instead. TRADED to Mavericks. Red Guy would've looked great playing next to Dirk.

Thunder- Quincy Poindexter- Love this pick. Kevin Durant all but admitted that his voice is heard on decision making. So it's important that your star player isn't only good, but also smart.

Nets- Jordan Crawford- TRADED to Hawks. The author of the dunk that sent LeBron's camp into an embarrassing cover-up that only led to more publicity, all for a mediocre facial that barely grazed the face of LeBron (HA!). He continues to be more concerned over his self-image than winning.

Grizzlies- General Grievis Vasquez who EXPLODES in excitement! He must be confident that this guaranteed contract will be his one and only. Well, I don't, I like his game.

Magic- Daniel Orton- Again, he averaged 3 points a game last year. Must be represented by Drew Rosenhaus. Dude can't even speak, not really a downgrade in the NBA.

Wizards- Lazar Hayward- Closes out the first round with David Stern thanking the crowd for their "enthusiasm" (booing him every time he popped out from behind the curtains). I really hope the name Lazar catches on.

2nd Round- Adam Silver- Comes out to a huge ovation from the crowd excited to see anybody besides the worst "Best Commissioner in Sports" in the best moment of the night. He is now being greeted with what I believe to be "Sexy Silver" chants when he emerges from the green room.

Along with most of the players, half of the staffs, and all of the Atlanta Hawks, I'll be taking a good majority of the second round off.

Heat- Dexter Pittman- See, I told you he was still alive.

Kings- Hassan Whiteside- Disappointed the fans who wanted them to draft Jeff Van Gundy.

They have two minutes to get their pick in for the second round. There are many things I can do in two minutes, but making decisions heavily affecting my future is not one of them.

Knicks- Andy Rautins- Trying to please the hometown fans at the Draft. This will be their selling point when they miss out on the LeBron sweepstakes.

Knicks- Landry Fields- There goes that enthusiasm...

Pacers- Lance Stephenson- The Vegas favorite in the 'First 2010 NBA Draft Pick to get Arrested' race. Don't let us down Lance!

Heat- Jarvis Varnado- Sports Guy once penned a theory that it's smart to draft anybody that's really good at one thing, rather it be shooting, rebounding, on-ball defending, or in this case, blocking shots. He will be useful in the League.

Suns- Gani Lawal- My boy, D-Tuck's sleeper, going to my boy, D-Tuck's favorite team. Claims he is the next Cedric Ceballos.

Bucks- Tiny Gallon- Somehow, Buckethead got an invite to the Draft. Going to the unhealthiest city in the country probably isn't the best fit.

Celtics- Luke Harangody- Does he have enough crazy to fit in with the Celtics frontcourt? He certainly looks it. And his last name has possibilities to become its own sub-race. Oh, he's a Harangody.

Lithuanian Mudducks- Sherron Collins- I can't believe he didn't get drafted. Seems to be in vogue to hate on him. I think he could be a creator in the league that loves its playmakers. I guess people question his character, but I don't remember one game that he didn't bring it. I hope he finds a home somewhere, and continues banging strippers in the process.

Dirkness