The Evolution of NFL Picks~NFC (Quick Picks Week 5)

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Evolution of the AFC - written 10-6-10

Still coming at you Family Feud style (inappropriate kisses included)....


NFC EAST

Initial Prediction: Dallas Cowboys
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.....Anhhhhh.....Dallas Cowboys
Explanation: Yes, I'm aware they currently have the worst record in the division. Don't care. After all, science is just a theory too. The Giants are headed for a schizophrenic 8-8. The Redskins are headed for an overachieving 8-8. The Eagles are headed for an overly dramatic 8-8. Where does that leave us? The Cowboys winning at least nine games to win a division that their rivals blew by not building a lead in the standings while they encountered their struggles. I feel so much better after coming out of the closet about my Romosexuality.

NFC NORTH

Initial Prediction: Green Bay Packers
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.......Anhhhhh....Green Bay Packers
Explanation: They remain my pick to win the division, however the more dangerous team has become the Minnesota Vikings after the addition of Ran D. Moss. I decided to give the dangerous receiver a second chance at an interview after dropping some profanity in my AFC column.

"So, Randy, were there any discussion about how the Vikings would compensate you contractually?"

"Straight Cash, homie."

"Hmmm....ok. What are your thoughts on the upcoming rematch against Darrelle Revis on Monday Night Football?"



".......That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss. How do you sleep at night?'

"Damn you look cool Randy. All is forgiven. We should hang out sometime, yanno, go fishing or watch some NASTRUCK."

That is just further proof that you absolutely can judge a book by its cover. I kind of love the Favre-Moss marriage that's now upon us. All Dongslinger wants to do is chuck it deep. All Scary wants to do is catch the deep ball. Should be fun, success or failure. Oh yea, they have 'All Night' Adrian Peterson too. And they have the offspring of Moss and Jerry Rice due back at midseason (Sidney Rice). That is, if they aren't out of the race yet. Next four games are: @Jets, Dallas, @GB, @NE. Ouch babe.

Kinda forgot about the Packers there. They have absolutely no running game sans Ryan Grant and totally blew it by not making a play for Marshawn Lynch and his ugly ass Yahoo Fantasy Football picture...

NFC SOUTH

Initial Prediction: Atlanta Falcons

Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS......annnhhhhhhhh.......Atlanta Falcons

Explanation: The New Orleans Saints haven't recaptured the magic from last season yet. They've been very unimpressive but still sit at 3-1. The Falcons have been very impressive but only sit at 3-1. But, the Saints were yesterday's news, while the Falcons are tomorrow's news. Today's news? Well, Brett Favre has been sending girls pictures of his dong (analysis article of the pics coming next week). Hey, you asked.

NFC WEST

Initial Prediction: San Francisco 49ers

Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.......ding ding ding......Seattle Seahawks

Explanation: This could be the worst division of all time. I'm predicting the Seabags literally win it at 7-9. I kinda like Pete Carroll's pizazz. It should last this season and maybe half of next year. Then he can just pay players to take it from there. Oh wait...This division has earned no other words said about it.

Quick NFL Picks:

Week 1 record: 9-7
Week 2 record: 12-4
Week 3 record: 11-5

Week 4 record: 10-4

Total Record: 42-20

Jacksonville over BUFFALO-W

BALTIMORE over Denver-W

INDIANAPOLIS over Kansas City (I know...i know)-W

Green Bay over WASHINGTON-L

DETROIT over St. Louis-W

CAROLINA over Chicago-L

CINCINNATI over Tampa Bay-L

Atlanta over CLEVELAND-W

HOUSTON over NY Giants-L

NEW ORLEANS over Arizona-L

DALLAS over Tennessee-L

San Diego over OAKLAND-L

SAN FRANCISCO over Philadelphia-L

MINNESOTA over NY Jets-L

Prove me wrong Chiefs PLEEEEEEEASE!

His Ridiculousness

2010 NFL Preview: NFC North

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Chicago Bears- People have finally cooled off on Jay Cutler and his emo haircut. Maybe it's the 24-29 career record as a starter. Or maybe it was the 26 interceptions he threw last year. 26! Or maybe it's the fact that his QB rating has gone down every year he's been in the league. Or maybe it was the fact that I tried to hit on his little sister's former best friend in Colorado this summer, while she informed me that it was in fact Josh McDaniels' infatuation with Matt Cassel that ultimately sent him packing from Denver (I think that's something to be proud of). Anyhow, Mike Martz joins him this year, which most assume to be a good thing. But, Martz's offense relies on route development, which is dependent on good protection from the line, which is not a strength of the Bears. They did bring in Julius Peppers who even agreed to terms on trying his hardest for three games this year.

Detroit Lions- Should still be some growing pains for Matthew Stafford (is he living in biblical times? who still goes by Matthew?). But, the man I'm interested in seeing, or beast I should say, is the undisputed Heisman winner, Ndamukong Suh. Combined with fellow Husker, Kyle Vanden Bosch (making them my second favorite team for the year), there is at least somewhat of a chance that he is ndominant right from the get go (currently the Vegas favorite to win Defensive Rookie of the Year!). Pretty good nucleus of skill positions in Calvin Johnson, Jahvid Best, Kevin Smith, Tony Scheffler, and Brandon Pettigrew might finally lead them out of the cellar of the NFC.

Green Bay Packers- Finally, Aaron Rodgers can live Favre-free up in Green Bay. Oh, he's still there. I think it'll prove significant if they can win one of their brawls with the Vikings this year, with so much weight was placed on those games, it seemed to take the wind out of their sails last year. Rodgers can join the elite company of quarterbacks in the league by leading the Packers to the playoffs once again, and do so with similar stats to the tune of last year's 30-7 TD/Int ratio. Rodgers is the key, and the key to Rodgers might be the improvement of the line, as everything else stays the same up in Cheese Country.

Minnesota Vikings- Brett Favre returns but will the magic? There was definitely something going on last year. In the midst of all the hoopla, it's easy to forget just how good Favre was last year. Funny how that can be easy to forget, yet I've learned Favre's pooping schedule in its entirety from watching ESPN (he's a morning guy). Expectations should be big enough this year to satisfy even Visanthe Shiancoe's (pictured eloquently) lady friends. I say there is still a small chance of a team-wide backlash against Favre if they start slow, which is very possible with six of the first seven against the likes of NO, Mia, NYJ, Dal, GB, and NE (all to be played without number one wideout, Sidney Dean Rice--who gets the reference there??).