Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Evolution of NFL Picks~NFC (Quick Picks Week 5)

Evolution of the AFC - written 10-6-10

Still coming at you Family Feud style (inappropriate kisses included)....


Initial Prediction: Dallas Cowboys
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.....Anhhhhh.....Dallas Cowboys
Explanation: Yes, I'm aware they currently have the worst record in the division. Don't care. After all, science is just a theory too. The Giants are headed for a schizophrenic 8-8. The Redskins are headed for an overachieving 8-8. The Eagles are headed for an overly dramatic 8-8. Where does that leave us? The Cowboys winning at least nine games to win a division that their rivals blew by not building a lead in the standings while they encountered their struggles. I feel so much better after coming out of the closet about my Romosexuality.


Initial Prediction: Green Bay Packers
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.......Anhhhhh....Green Bay Packers
Explanation: They remain my pick to win the division, however the more dangerous team has become the Minnesota Vikings after the addition of Ran D. Moss. I decided to give the dangerous receiver a second chance at an interview after dropping some profanity in my AFC column.

"So, Randy, were there any discussion about how the Vikings would compensate you contractually?"

"Straight Cash, homie."

"Hmmm....ok. What are your thoughts on the upcoming rematch against Darrelle Revis on Monday Night Football?"

".......That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss. How do you sleep at night?'

"Damn you look cool Randy. All is forgiven. We should hang out sometime, yanno, go fishing or watch some NASTRUCK."

That is just further proof that you absolutely can judge a book by its cover. I kind of love the Favre-Moss marriage that's now upon us. All Dongslinger wants to do is chuck it deep. All Scary wants to do is catch the deep ball. Should be fun, success or failure. Oh yea, they have 'All Night' Adrian Peterson too. And they have the offspring of Moss and Jerry Rice due back at midseason (Sidney Rice). That is, if they aren't out of the race yet. Next four games are: @Jets, Dallas, @GB, @NE. Ouch babe.

Kinda forgot about the Packers there. They have absolutely no running game sans Ryan Grant and totally blew it by not making a play for Marshawn Lynch and his ugly ass Yahoo Fantasy Football picture...


Initial Prediction: Atlanta Falcons
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS......annnhhhhhhhh.......Atlanta Falcons
Explanation: The New Orleans Saints haven't recaptured the magic from last season yet. They've been very unimpressive but still sit at 3-1. The Falcons have been very impressive but only sit at 3-1. But, the Saints were yesterday's news, while the Falcons are tomorrow's news. Today's news? Well, Brett Favre has been sending girls pictures of his dong (analysis article of the pics coming next week). Hey, you asked.


Initial Prediction: San Francisco 49ers
Evolved Prediction: DARWIN SAYS.......ding ding ding......Seattle Seahawks
Explanation: This could be the worst division of all time. I'm predicting the Seabags literally win it at 7-9. I kinda like Pete Carroll's pizazz. It should last this season and maybe half of next year. Then he can just pay players to take it from there. Oh wait...This division has earned no other words said about it.

Quick NFL Picks:

Week 4 record: 10-4
Total Record: 42-20

Jacksonville over BUFFALO-W
BALTIMORE over Denver-W
INDIANAPOLIS over Kansas City (I know...i know)-W
Green Bay over WASHINGTON-L
DETROIT over St. Louis-W
CAROLINA over Chicago-L
CINCINNATI over Tampa Bay-L
Atlanta over CLEVELAND-W
HOUSTON over NY Giants-L
NEW ORLEANS over Arizona-L
DALLAS over Tennessee-L
San Diego over OAKLAND-L
SAN FRANCISCO over Philadelphia-L

Prove me wrong Chiefs PLEEEEEEEASE!

His Ridiculousness

1 comment:

Rickaay the Leadoff Man said...

His Squirrelyness,

I like seeing the extreme humor return, especially at the behest of the ridiculous NFL and its ugly ass playaz. Once again, your use of new media and pics provided some spazmatic laughing. Now I can only imagine the ridicule and playa-hating you're saving up for the even more absurd college basketball season.