Monday, July 25, 2011

What Chiefs Should Do in Free Agency

Me and Matt Cassel bout to fuck this Dirkness hiatus up!

This NFL season could be completely insane. Nobody, including the teams themselves, has any idea who's been staying in shape all offseason and who's been doing bong rips and making 4 am trips to Whataburger (order the His Dirkness special next time). I think it might lead to the weirdest season yet, with players we're accustomed to playing at an elite level having down years, and relatively unknown players stepping into the limelight. Without a doubt, the teams with the highest level of dedication and character will benefit the most from the NFL Lockout.

This NFL "offseason" WILL be completely insane. We're about to see 6 months worth of transactions all rolled up into one week. There will be undrafted free agent signings, teams signing their draft picks (will be much easier than in year's past - thanks to this lockout), teams trying to retain their own free agents, the pursuit of other teams' free agents, trades, the peak of tickets sales, and the opening of training camps all in the next 5 days or so. I almost feel like we should go ahead and redo the NFL Draft (just throw it in there on Saturday). This week was the reason Twitter was created.

Now we get to the Chiefs. They're gonna have a ton of money to spend, but don't have a choice whether to spend it or not. They HAVE to spend somewhere from 30-40 million this offseason to reach the NFL's salary floor. While some of that money will go towards keeping what they've got (Tamba Hali and 2012 FA's Flowers, Carr, and Bowe), they'll have the chance to be very active in free agency. I don't expect them to target any of the "elite" free agents (a. because that's not Scott Pioli's style and b. only the Raiders and Redskins are foolish enough to do so), but I would expect a collection of solid, B-grade type players.

I fully expect the Chiefs to dominate this week. This was the reason we hired Scott Pioli.

I'm gonna offer up what I would like to see the Chiefs do over the next week (although, this is bound to change throughout the week as the options become clearer). Lets start with a little Roman style thumbs up/thumbs down with the Chiefs own free agents (thumbs up is a move to resign, thumbs down is cut off their head):

Ron Edwards - Thumbs up
Shaun Smith - Thumbs down
Casey Wiegmann - Thumbs up
Rudy Niswanger - Thumbs down
Jon McGraw - Thumbs down
Leonard Pope - Thumbs down
Ryan O'Callaghan - Thumbs up
Corey Mays - Thumbs up
Crodie Broyle - Thumbs up
Terrance Copper - Thumbs up
Jackie Battle - Thumbs up
Travis Daniels - Thumbs down
Tim Castille - Thumbs down
Charlie Anderson - never heard of him
Kevin Curtis - does he count?

**Obviously, I'm lying about keeping Brodie Croyle. I wouldn't let him quarterback my flag football team if he were the last quarterback on the face of the earth and we were playing 8 year old girls (I'd take the forfeit). But I wanted to see if you were paying attention.**

Now we get to the meat of this post (Mmm mmm yeah, lets make it a sheboygan sausage too). Here are 10 free agents (in a particularly random order) that I'd like to see the Chiefs pursue this offseason (sorry Tiki Barber fans):

1. Stephen Tulloch, ILB, Titans - Often referred to as a "thumper", he would make an ideal compliment to Derrick Johnson's athleticism on the inside. Finishing 2nd in tackles in the NFL last season, he's basically a rich man's Jovan Belcher, the man he'd be replacing.

2. Paul Posluszny, ILB, Bills - While Tulloch finished 2nd in tackles last season, Poz finished 3rd. This team needs a run stuffing inside linebacker, and while I'm a big Belcher fan, he's more suited for backup duties. Poz might make a better defensive leader than Tulloch, so I think he would be my #1 choice.

3. Aubrayo Franklin, NT, 49ers - Don't know much about him, but he is the only notable nose tackle available in free agency. He would appear to be an upgrade over Ron Edwards, but you'll almost assuredly have to overpay to get him. (NOTE: 38 year old Pat Williams named the Chiefs as one of his preferred destinations today. He weighs 400 pounds. Seriously.)

4. Santana Moss, WR, Redskins - I'm not too crazy about the list of available wide receivers. The Chiefs are already equipped with two big, physical, possession style WR's, so what they're in need of is a smart, quick WR to find holes over the middle of the field (not sold on McCluster being that guy). Also, I like the idea of bringing in a veteran mentor for both Bowe and Baldwin.

5. Steve Smith, WR, Giants - This is the other WR I like on the open market. Fits the mold of a potential crafty slot receiver. Look, the time is now for Matt Cassel. Adding yet another option at WR gives him all the necessary weapons to succeed RIGHT NOW. We must determine if he is our long term answer at QB. An additional WR would turn a big weakness from last season into a potential strength this season.

6. Matt Roth, OLB, Browns - His numbers won't wow you, but he's more adept in the running game than he is getting after the QB. He won't provide the Chiefs with a stud opposite Muhammad Hali, but he would provide some serious depth at the position. Wanna know more? Read this.

7. Le'Ron McClain, FB, Ravens - The most likely Chiefs signee from this list. McClain is the beloved fat back that could shine opposite God Jam Char, and could potentially solve the Chiefs 3rd and 1 issues from last season. However, we wouldn't get to hear Charles say "Cox all up in there" anymore.

8. Willie Colon, RT, Steelers - I'm a Barry Richardson kinda guy. If you give him another year to develop, I think he'll figure things out. Howevvvvvvva, if Pioli is ready to move on, then so am I! Colon missed all of 2010 (a bad thing) and the Steelers severely struggled protecting Lil' Ben (good thing).

9. Vince Young, QB, Titans - Nope, he's not a free agent yet, but he will be. The Chiefs can either sign a backup QB or take their chances with Ricky Stanzi this year (better than Cruddie). People say VY is a head case, but damn can he win some football games. 30-17 career record in the NFL. If nobody else is interested in him, I'd love taking a chance with him.

10. Steve Smith, WR, Panthers - Not a free agent, and not even considered available really, but a man can dream! I was struck with a premonition soon after the Chiefs bowed out of last year's playoffs that Smith would be the perfect compliment to D-Bowe. Since then, he has demanded a trade, making it somewhat realistic. Would I be willing to give up a draft pick to get him? Yes, yes i would.

Happy Holidays everybody,
his dirkness


Anonymous said...

I'd like to say thank you. To you His Dirkness, to the NFL for finally getting shit handled, to the amazing volleyball team that whomped the #1 ranked team tonight. I will say when I read the thumbs up on Crodie Broyle I considered unsubscribing to this blog, abandoning you as a friend after 20 years, and....well I read on and was pleasantly surprised it was all just a farce. Much Love Dirkness and a Merry NFL Season to ALL!

Dr. Zaveous

Unknown said...

here's where i agree with you...
1. 8-8 record. thats exactly where i think we'll finish.
2. Tulloch and Poz are the best available LBs
3. we need a slot WR like Steve Smith or Steve Breaston (even though you didnt mention Breaston)
4. Le'Ron McClain... do i really need to explain why we should sign McClain??
5. Willie Colon (or Tyson Clabo, but i like Colon more) would make our O-line incredibly solid. and Colon is an awesome pass protector

but here's where i disagree with you...
1. Shaun Smith deserves a thumbs up. besides having elite ball-grabbing skills, he is pretty versatile and that is a nice asset in a big man.
2. Travis Daniels has some value. not as a starter by any means, but he held his own last year when he had to.
3. not really sold on Aubrayo Franklin. he puts up bad numbers, even for a NT
4. Santana Moss is D-U-N done. don't let his fluke resurgence last year fool you.
5. Vince Young???? come on... i'm not even kidding here - my favorite backup QB free agent is Billy Volek

His Dirkness said...

-I'm not crazy about Steve Breaston. I feel like he excelled in Zona's system with Warner, but would ultimately be a waste of money (because he'll probably get a lot). I suspect Haley thinks the same way and has no intention of chasing him.

-I feel like Shaun Smith started out awesome last year but really faded down the stretch. Its Tyson Jackson's time and with Gilberry and Bailey as backups, I think Smith becomes expendable. However, I wouldn't be upset at all to see him return, just think we've already seen the best of him.

-Aubrayo - not sold on him either, but at the time of writing he was the only option. Since then, Kelly Gregg and Pat williams have become options, whom I'd actually prefer because they'd be less money and could just hold the position over until hopefully Powe emerges.

-Moss has always put up numbers without ever having a good QB. Thought he woulda been a good fit, but he gone now.

-I'd be cool with Volek, he is underrated. I've heard rumors of Marc Bulger who I'd also be cool with. I ain't giving up on VY just yet though.

Dirk Noss

Anonymous said...

The write up on this weeks KCmetroflagfootball playoff preview was excellent.


DBZ said...

Love the depth as usual. I wasn't in football mood yet until this article. I am glad I read on, because I was about to blow up your comment section when I read the Croyle thing. I'm not quite as harsh as Dave though; you would have been afforded a suspension and diversionary friend period to see if you could keep your status.