~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now that The Pretenders have been separated from The Supremes (give me the Supremes any day!) it's time to get down to some real futbol (Cue the Rugrats theme song). We have two potential all-time classics, a David vs. Goliath matchup, and a match that will see its winner fit comfortably into Cinderella's slipper. Three of these clashes will involve the dominant South America vs. the disappointing Europa, so pick your racial allegiances now. Before we get to my predirktions, let me first rant about the Evil Empire's efforts to ruin the World Cup for all of us.
Dirkness has long referred to ESPN as the 'Evil Empire' and its for reasons like we are seeing with their coverage of the World Cup. All we heard about last week was the controversies surrounding missed offsides calls, disallowed goals, and goalline technology. Why can the games never be enough for ESPN? Can our nation's attention only be held by tabloid-like coverage? Can't they develop a different channel focusing purely on off-the-field news for those who want it? I, for one, do not want it. I can hardly stand to turn ESPN on anymore in fear of hearing the names Brett Favre, LeBron James, Tiger Woods, or Ben Roethlisberger. Does anybody really think the officiating has been worse at this World Cup than any in years past? It hasn't. Not to mention most of the complaints are heard from a match that finished 4-1! And if you tell me that a goal would've changed everything, you get a vuvuzela blown up the arse, I get it. Lets judge teams and players on how they react to misfortune. Mexico completely folded. As did England. United States handled it relatively admirably. I really enjoy examining the parallels between soccer and life, and think it's a somewhat accurate representation. Sometimes, you face bad breaks, but is it best to then complain about it and ask why a million times over? No, its best to regather yourself, and refocus your energy on how to overcome it. This is the true test of man, where you'll find out what you're really made of, and when you see your true character shine through. The bottom line, is that I bet the team that comes out victorious in this World Cup will prove tough minded enough to overcome a few bad breaks along the way. Oh, and ESPN is trying to ruin sports.
On to the games....
Brazil vs. Netherlands
The Dominant Dungas vs. The Clockwork Orange. This should be a masterpiece of a game. The two countries most worried about style over substance, which makes me wander what other professional sports are like in Netherlands. Do they even keep score? Or is it just measured on who has the most fun? Is money even an object there? I have an entire fantasy land imagined in my head all based on this one belief of theirs. I plan on setting the mood for this match with scented candles, classical music, and Bob Ross paintings surrounding me. Oh, you were wanting actual futbol analysis for this? I think it'll take atleast two goals to defeat Brazil, the overall favorite, in this tournament. The scary thing about Brazil is that their defense is just as stout as their offense. The Dutch haven't played any top-tier teams, nor looked overly impressive in any matchup, but have Dutch Ovened every opponent to this point. This is my most anticipated match to this point by far. I really, really, really, REALLY want to pick Netherlands...
PreDirktion: Brazil 3, Netherlands 2 OT
Uruguay vs. Ghana
The Big Guays vs. Radiohead's "The Black Stars." Ghana had too much speed for the Yanks to handle in the Round of 16. It was a roller coaster of a game that saw Ghana dominate the first half, the States dominate the second half, and Ghana overwilhelm (Yieow!) them in overtime. I have little else to say about this game, so I'll share some random thoughts accumulated throughout the Cup...
~I absolutely love the announcing of the games. The first time I've felt that Beard n Stache were legitimately inferior to the professionals. They call everything how they see it, unafraid to call out anybody, and don't fill the air blathering about nothingness in effort to steal attention away from the game. My favorite phrase that they use is, "Good for the cameras," indicating that they embellished a play, making it seem harder than it was in actuality. Love it. Take note, Stache.
~I love the backwards cross that travels against the grain. It seems to find its way through the box more often than the aerial cross, leaving defenders hitting the breaks and reaching for the ball off their back foot. Keep an eye out for this play.
~People complain about flopping in soccer, but in actuality it is a way bigger problem in basketball, where fouls constantly interrupt flow of the game, while soccer just gets up and goes. There is no time to complain, or else the game has already passed you by, and you've hurt your team. It's all about flow of the game.
PreDirktion: Uruguay 1, Ghana 1, PK's: 4-3 Uruguay
Argentina vs. Germany
The Maradonians vs. The Fightin' Schweinsteigers. I must be watching more Germany games than any other team, because I find myself walking around constantly blurting out the names Schweinsteiger and Podolski. Now a regular part of my lexicon. Go ahead, say them out loud, your life won't be the same. Argentina's Lionel Messi has been the most dominant player in the tournament to this point. He's the only player I've seen that's able to singlehandedly control a game, reminiscent of Zidane from four years ago. Now if he just drops The People's Elbow on a Brazilian in the World Cup Final, the comparison really will be valid. The black eye for the Argentinians has reared its ugly head in the form of their goalie, Sergio Romero, who was inviting disaster against Mexico. My Germany breakdown begins with a video daily double which should be studied heavily for years to come...
The German coach seems way less ashamed of his actions than that backwards-hatted punk, Chase Daniel, who tries to hide it. The Wonder Coach doesn't even hesitate when spotted by his assistants. Ah, I love that the World Cup can bring together so many different cultures. The Germans have not lost their cold-bloodedness since, well, lets just leave it at that, and have been calling out the Maradonians all week. This one could get nasty. My predicted winner of the Cup vs. my predicted flop, I couldn't possibly change my mind now....could I?
PreDirktion: Nope, Argentina 2, Germany 1
Spain vs. Paraguay
The Kung Paus vs. The Lil' Guays. Paraguay outlasted Japan in a matchup of what may have been the two worst teams in the Round of 16. The announcers and analysts all but laughed it off. Meanwhile, Spain cracked the code of the Portugal defense, which had yet to allow a goal. David Villa has been the second best player of the Cup, so keep an eye on him. I'll support the Lil' Guays but give them slim chance to advance, with best hopes relying on penalty kicks. They're already satisfied.
PreDirktion: Spain 2, Paraguay 0
-His Nastiness
Showing posts with label lionel messi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lionel messi. Show all posts
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
2010 World Cup Knockout Round
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
United States 1, Algeria 0
Judging by the all-vuvuzela band marching the streets day and night since the victory over Algeria, I'd say the United States finally has themselves a world-class soccer team, despite the world's obvious efforts to keep us down. It only makes it sweeter that we have to put up with a controversial disallowed goal in every match from here on out. We even had to deal with Algeria cowardly playing for the draw, despite needing a victory for any chance at advancement. With all of the close chances and near misses, it felt like our time would never come, and would combine with our shortcomings from the 2006 World Cup concluding a failure of an era that looked so promising. However, none of that mattered, or maybe all of it mattered, when Landon Donovan boomblasted the game winner past the charismatic Algerian goalie in the 91st minute of the match (the unsung hero of the goal was Howard, who threw it to midfield in the air, and ignited the fast break).
That golden goal didn't mean more to anyone than our new national hero, Lando Donovan (portrayed by Billy Dee Williams in the movie). He would have found himself in the scapegoat role once again, albeit unfairly this time around, but that's the responsibility you take on when you wear the #10 jersey (Pele's number, commonly worn by the team's best player, even more popular than #23 in basketball). Instead, he has been a Top 5 player of the World Cup to this point. I'm convinced he cares more about winning than any other present day athlete. He cares, and we should care because he cares so much. It's an absolute joy to watch. He is the unquestioned leader of the team that has played with the most heart in this World Cup. No other team has crawled back from a 2-0 deficit. No other team has won a game in extra time (New Zealand tied one). No other team has fought through such egregious officiating. We never give up, we fought through adversity, and we laid it all on the line when it mattered most. These are the defining characteristics of a team, led by Captain Lou Albano, playing with a ton of heart.
United States vs Ghana
A rematch with the team that slammed the door shut on our slim remaining hopes in the 2006 World Cup. And anybody that needs some extra fuel for their fire...
Yes, that garbage you see at the 1:20 mark actually leads to a penalty kick (hey, another bad call against the US! Blame it on the Black Stars). Ghana is the only remaining African team and will probably have the roar of the vuvuzelas behind them. It'll be interesting to see how partisan it will be and if it'll affect the U.S. team at all. So far, Ghana was impressive in beating Serbia 1-0, uninspiring in a 1-1 draw with a shorthanded Australia squad, and respectable in a 1-0 defeat to a desperate Germany squad. Both of their goals have come off penalty kicks, so they have yet to see the ball pass the goalie in normal play. It's difficult to forecast a soccer match, but I believe the United States to be the superior squad. We may have a feeling of playing with house money now after coming so close to elimination, and find ourselves with a somewhat favorable draw with Argentina, Germany, and Spain opposite us and no Brazil or Netherlands until the Semifinals. That doesn't mean anything will come easy, but the path is atleast plausible. Dirkness, for one, already feels satisfied with our showing, mostly due to the fashion in which it's been done.
Dirkness prediction: United States 2, Ghana 1 OT
Goals: Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore
Number of Disallowed Goals for the US: 2
Power Rankings heading into Knockout Stage:
1. Brazil- Kaka has been the second best player I've watched
2. Argentina- Messi has been the best
3. Netherlands- More concerned about style than result which I like
4. Spain- Rough first draw in Portugal should be round's best game
5. Uruguay- Most surprising dominant team of the tournament
6. Germany- Podolski (The Polish Rifle) has the fastest slap shot in the world
7. Portugal- Ronaldo's sissy play makes me outspokenly angry
8. Chile- My adopted team of the tournament, second cheering interest
9. England- Wayne Rooney is my biggest disappointment so far (besides the Floppin Racist terms)
10. United States- Keep an eye on the unheralded Benny Felihaber, I dig his style
11. Ghana- Should have the host fans behind them
12. Mexico- Worst team of the best foursome (Arg, Ger, Eng)
13. Japan- Fit their hard-working Asian stereotype and outrun teams to death
14. Paraguay- Winner of the weakest group
15. South Korea- See Japan and Slovakia
16. Slovakia- Here for the knockout swag
Dirkness
United States 1, Algeria 0
Judging by the all-vuvuzela band marching the streets day and night since the victory over Algeria, I'd say the United States finally has themselves a world-class soccer team, despite the world's obvious efforts to keep us down. It only makes it sweeter that we have to put up with a controversial disallowed goal in every match from here on out. We even had to deal with Algeria cowardly playing for the draw, despite needing a victory for any chance at advancement. With all of the close chances and near misses, it felt like our time would never come, and would combine with our shortcomings from the 2006 World Cup concluding a failure of an era that looked so promising. However, none of that mattered, or maybe all of it mattered, when Landon Donovan boomblasted the game winner past the charismatic Algerian goalie in the 91st minute of the match (the unsung hero of the goal was Howard, who threw it to midfield in the air, and ignited the fast break).
That golden goal didn't mean more to anyone than our new national hero, Lando Donovan (portrayed by Billy Dee Williams in the movie). He would have found himself in the scapegoat role once again, albeit unfairly this time around, but that's the responsibility you take on when you wear the #10 jersey (Pele's number, commonly worn by the team's best player, even more popular than #23 in basketball). Instead, he has been a Top 5 player of the World Cup to this point. I'm convinced he cares more about winning than any other present day athlete. He cares, and we should care because he cares so much. It's an absolute joy to watch. He is the unquestioned leader of the team that has played with the most heart in this World Cup. No other team has crawled back from a 2-0 deficit. No other team has won a game in extra time (New Zealand tied one). No other team has fought through such egregious officiating. We never give up, we fought through adversity, and we laid it all on the line when it mattered most. These are the defining characteristics of a team, led by Captain Lou Albano, playing with a ton of heart.
United States vs Ghana
A rematch with the team that slammed the door shut on our slim remaining hopes in the 2006 World Cup. And anybody that needs some extra fuel for their fire...
Yes, that garbage you see at the 1:20 mark actually leads to a penalty kick (hey, another bad call against the US! Blame it on the Black Stars). Ghana is the only remaining African team and will probably have the roar of the vuvuzelas behind them. It'll be interesting to see how partisan it will be and if it'll affect the U.S. team at all. So far, Ghana was impressive in beating Serbia 1-0, uninspiring in a 1-1 draw with a shorthanded Australia squad, and respectable in a 1-0 defeat to a desperate Germany squad. Both of their goals have come off penalty kicks, so they have yet to see the ball pass the goalie in normal play. It's difficult to forecast a soccer match, but I believe the United States to be the superior squad. We may have a feeling of playing with house money now after coming so close to elimination, and find ourselves with a somewhat favorable draw with Argentina, Germany, and Spain opposite us and no Brazil or Netherlands until the Semifinals. That doesn't mean anything will come easy, but the path is atleast plausible. Dirkness, for one, already feels satisfied with our showing, mostly due to the fashion in which it's been done.
Dirkness prediction: United States 2, Ghana 1 OT
Goals: Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore
Number of Disallowed Goals for the US: 2
Power Rankings heading into Knockout Stage:
1. Brazil- Kaka has been the second best player I've watched
2. Argentina- Messi has been the best
3. Netherlands- More concerned about style than result which I like
4. Spain- Rough first draw in Portugal should be round's best game
5. Uruguay- Most surprising dominant team of the tournament
6. Germany- Podolski (The Polish Rifle) has the fastest slap shot in the world
7. Portugal- Ronaldo's sissy play makes me outspokenly angry
8. Chile- My adopted team of the tournament, second cheering interest
9. England- Wayne Rooney is my biggest disappointment so far (besides the Floppin Racist terms)
10. United States- Keep an eye on the unheralded Benny Felihaber, I dig his style
11. Ghana- Should have the host fans behind them
12. Mexico- Worst team of the best foursome (Arg, Ger, Eng)
13. Japan- Fit their hard-working Asian stereotype and outrun teams to death
14. Paraguay- Winner of the weakest group
15. South Korea- See Japan and Slovakia
16. Slovakia- Here for the knockout swag
Dirkness
Thursday, June 10, 2010
2010 World Cup Preview Extravaganza
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll start off with my thoughts on the United States team (uh, squad) before getting into predictions for the 2010 World Cup. I'd like to give a shout out to my DVR for the load it is about to handle, and for making it possible for me to witness the World Cup sans a 6 A.M. wake up call (I wouldn't have stood a chance 8 years ago). But, please World Cup, return to Asia soon so I can once again experience live sporting events in the midnight to 6 A.M. hours- the original reason that I got into the sport of soccer (er, futbol).
United States~ They are better set up for success this time around than they were in 2006, when unfair expectations were placed on them due to an overachieving 2002 team. You follow? Overachieving leads to expectation, which ultimately leads to failure. You see it all the time in sports. This year they bring a more seasoned team ready to handle more moderate expectations. This is my analysis based on no soccer knowledge whatsoever.
What's the key on the field (ahem, pitch)? Jozy Altidore. He is their chance. What I remember from 2006 was that we fielded a good team throughout the field, but lacked a striker, which when it comes down to it, is the name of the game. We had to work too hard for goals. He is our chance at a difference maker.
So what are The Dirkness' expectations for the United States? Anything less than reaching the knockout stage would have to be considered a disappointment (the top two of each group advance for those not in the know). I say winning a game in the Round of 16 is a great success, and anything above and beyond is just tea and crumpets (?). If they can just come out of the England game with a tie (draw) than they are in great shape, with the belief that England is the most celebrated team of the group. But, this is no "Group of Death" (the term applied to the toughest group of the World Cup) where the U.S. found themselves in 2006, and we should expect The Yanks to make an appearance in the knockout round.
Prediction Time~
Group A:
1. Mexico- Odds on winning it all went from <125-to-1> to <60-to-1> ruining my betting plans (but helping my online gambling problems).
2. Uruguay- No I'm not....not that there's anything wrong with that.
3. France- Handballs won't be allowed in this tournament, Henri.
4. South Africa- Would become the first host country to not make the knockout round.
Group B:
1. Argentina- Led by the former (Diego Maradona) and current (Lionel Messi) best players in the world.
2. Greece- I find Greeks to be tough and resilient.
3. Nigeria- The worst team from the original FIFA Soccer game for Super Nintendo.
4. South Korea- Midfielder Park Ji-Sung is nicknamed 'Three-Lung Park' for his impressive stamina.
Group C:
1. England- History of dominating the Group stage but faltering in the knockout round.
2. United States- Chuck Klosterman really believes soccer could be the sport of the future in the U.S. (and if you don't know who he is, quit reading me and read him!)
3. Slovenia- Dominating defense scares me a bit.
4. Algeria- Awesome nickname- 'The Desert Foxes.'
Group D:
1. Serbia- Makes me think of Siberia, which makes me thinks they'll be tough.
2. Australia- You can never question the heart of a Socceroo.
3. Germany- My shocker. Lots of missing players due to injuries (and their top goalkeeper committed suicide!) Would be the first time missing the knockout round since 1938.
4. Ghana- Suffer in this year's 'Group of Death.'
Group E:
1. Cameroon- My choice for African team that rides the wave of home turf.
2. Netherlands- My favorite European team (despite leaving Chili Peppers' lead man Ruud Van Nistelrooy-pictured-off the squad) donning the fresh out of the penitentiary uniforms (kits).
3. Denmark- Something about Denmark.
4. Japan- Can't imagine them being good at soccer.
Group F:
1. Italy- 'The Floppin Racist Terms' have the best goalie in the world, Gianluigi Buffon.
2. Paraguay- Dedicating the tournament to their top qualifying scorer who was shot in the head. Sold.
3. Slovakia- Won't be motivated because they've already advanced further than their former name sharers, Czech.
4. New Zealand- Just here for the swag.
Group G:
1. Brazil- Led by forward Kaka (Spanish for poop) and coach Dunga (American for poop). Cue Clay Davis: Shieyyyyyyyit!
2. Ivory Coast- My personal favourite (!) player from the 2006 World Cup, Didier Drogba, may or may not be out for the tournament.
3. Portugal- Soccer is no place for pretty boys like Cristiano Ronaldo...or atleast my predictions aren't.
4. North Korea- Suffer from this year's 'Group of Chinese Water Torture.'
Group H:
1. Spain- The World Cup Favourite has lost one time in its last 45 games (to the U.S. baby!)
2. Chile- Their coach is nicknamed El Loco for his sideline antics (he most likely gets liquored up on Loko's before games).
3. Honduras- Come oh so close to being the tournament Cinderella.
4. Switzerland- They plan to stay neutral in hopes of not upsetting any of the other Group H teams.
Knockout Stage:
Round of 16:
Mexico over Greece
England over Australia
Cameroon over Paraguay
Brazil over Chile
Argentina over Uruguay
United States over Serbia
Netherlands over Italy
Spain over Ivory Coast
Quarterfinals:
England over Mexico
Cameroon over Brazil
Argentina over United States
Spain over Netherlands
Semifinals:
England over Cameroon
Argentina over Spain
Third Place Game:
Cameroon over Spain
World Cup Final:
Argentina over England
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLL!!!!!!
His Dorkness
I'll start off with my thoughts on the United States team (uh, squad) before getting into predictions for the 2010 World Cup. I'd like to give a shout out to my DVR for the load it is about to handle, and for making it possible for me to witness the World Cup sans a 6 A.M. wake up call (I wouldn't have stood a chance 8 years ago). But, please World Cup, return to Asia soon so I can once again experience live sporting events in the midnight to 6 A.M. hours- the original reason that I got into the sport of soccer (er, futbol).
United States~ They are better set up for success this time around than they were in 2006, when unfair expectations were placed on them due to an overachieving 2002 team. You follow? Overachieving leads to expectation, which ultimately leads to failure. You see it all the time in sports. This year they bring a more seasoned team ready to handle more moderate expectations. This is my analysis based on no soccer knowledge whatsoever.
What's the key on the field (ahem, pitch)? Jozy Altidore. He is their chance. What I remember from 2006 was that we fielded a good team throughout the field, but lacked a striker, which when it comes down to it, is the name of the game. We had to work too hard for goals. He is our chance at a difference maker.
So what are The Dirkness' expectations for the United States? Anything less than reaching the knockout stage would have to be considered a disappointment (the top two of each group advance for those not in the know). I say winning a game in the Round of 16 is a great success, and anything above and beyond is just tea and crumpets (?). If they can just come out of the England game with a tie (draw) than they are in great shape, with the belief that England is the most celebrated team of the group. But, this is no "Group of Death" (the term applied to the toughest group of the World Cup) where the U.S. found themselves in 2006, and we should expect The Yanks to make an appearance in the knockout round.
Prediction Time~
Group A:
1. Mexico- Odds on winning it all went from <125-to-1> to <60-to-1> ruining my betting plans (but helping my online gambling problems).
2. Uruguay- No I'm not....not that there's anything wrong with that.
3. France- Handballs won't be allowed in this tournament, Henri.
4. South Africa- Would become the first host country to not make the knockout round.
Group B:
1. Argentina- Led by the former (Diego Maradona) and current (Lionel Messi) best players in the world.
2. Greece- I find Greeks to be tough and resilient.
3. Nigeria- The worst team from the original FIFA Soccer game for Super Nintendo.
4. South Korea- Midfielder Park Ji-Sung is nicknamed 'Three-Lung Park' for his impressive stamina.
Group C:
1. England- History of dominating the Group stage but faltering in the knockout round.
2. United States- Chuck Klosterman really believes soccer could be the sport of the future in the U.S. (and if you don't know who he is, quit reading me and read him!)
3. Slovenia- Dominating defense scares me a bit.
4. Algeria- Awesome nickname- 'The Desert Foxes.'
Group D:
1. Serbia- Makes me think of Siberia, which makes me thinks they'll be tough.
2. Australia- You can never question the heart of a Socceroo.
3. Germany- My shocker. Lots of missing players due to injuries (and their top goalkeeper committed suicide!) Would be the first time missing the knockout round since 1938.
4. Ghana- Suffer in this year's 'Group of Death.'
Group E:
1. Cameroon- My choice for African team that rides the wave of home turf.
2. Netherlands- My favorite European team (despite leaving Chili Peppers' lead man Ruud Van Nistelrooy-pictured-off the squad) donning the fresh out of the penitentiary uniforms (kits).
3. Denmark- Something about Denmark.
4. Japan- Can't imagine them being good at soccer.
Group F:
1. Italy- 'The Floppin Racist Terms' have the best goalie in the world, Gianluigi Buffon.
2. Paraguay- Dedicating the tournament to their top qualifying scorer who was shot in the head. Sold.
3. Slovakia- Won't be motivated because they've already advanced further than their former name sharers, Czech.
4. New Zealand- Just here for the swag.
Group G:
1. Brazil- Led by forward Kaka (Spanish for poop) and coach Dunga (American for poop). Cue Clay Davis: Shieyyyyyyyit!
2. Ivory Coast- My personal favourite (!) player from the 2006 World Cup, Didier Drogba, may or may not be out for the tournament.
3. Portugal- Soccer is no place for pretty boys like Cristiano Ronaldo...or atleast my predictions aren't.
4. North Korea- Suffer from this year's 'Group of Chinese Water Torture.'
Group H:
1. Spain- The World Cup Favourite has lost one time in its last 45 games (to the U.S. baby!)
2. Chile- Their coach is nicknamed El Loco for his sideline antics (he most likely gets liquored up on Loko's before games).
3. Honduras- Come oh so close to being the tournament Cinderella.
4. Switzerland- They plan to stay neutral in hopes of not upsetting any of the other Group H teams.
Knockout Stage:
Round of 16:
Mexico over Greece
England over Australia
Cameroon over Paraguay
Brazil over Chile
Argentina over Uruguay
United States over Serbia
Netherlands over Italy
Spain over Ivory Coast
Quarterfinals:
England over Mexico
Cameroon over Brazil
Argentina over United States
Spain over Netherlands
Semifinals:
England over Cameroon
Argentina over Spain
Third Place Game:
Cameroon over Spain
World Cup Final:
Argentina over England
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLL!!!!!!
His Dorkness
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