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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

2010 NBA Draft Bang or Bust

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With the lottery just being completed, it got me in the mood to make premature, ridiculous prognostications in the absolute forms of Bang or Bust (No, not Bangbus, sickos). The lottery always gets me excited, but I found few teams to cheer for at the top of this list this year which made it a really easy choice to cheer for the 8-foot mongoloid/former WWF superstar/Russian billionaire playboy/owner of the Nets-Mikhail Prokhorov (pictured). He would make a great villain, but he may have missed his chance by not attacking David Stern or the frail, old lady owner of the Wizards after losing the number 1 pick. Oh well, we'll just have to settle for his blitzkrieg of Yi Jianlian later this year. Anyway, I'll be taking the poor man's approach to ranking the prospects for the 2010 NBA Draft by using somebody else's rankings! That man is Chad Ford of the Evil Empire, ESPN. I'll take his Top 20 prospects and rate them with the Bang or Bust system (Note: Enthusiasm counts. All capitals means extreme BANG or BUST, while lowercase equates more towards mediocrity). Keep in mind that I BANG'd Tyreke Evans last year, and have been BANG'n Kevin Durant since I first laid eyes on him. What? Oh, that's gross...

1. John Wall, PG, Kentucky- BANG! Love his instincts and his endgameability (new word alert). A lesser scoring version of Dwyane Wade. I'm gonna call him 'The Babyfaced Killah' because of his smoothnicity (!) and knack for making plays at the end of games.

2. Evan Turner, SG, Ohio State- BaNG- Love his ability and willingness to get to the rim (the reason I loved Tyreke last year). Don't think he will ever be the best player on a championship team, but could be the do-everything second fiddle. Think poor man's Scottie Pippen.

3. Derrick Favors, PF, Georgia Tech- BUST- Didn't make enough noise to impress me last year. Maybe becomes something down the line. I predict nobody knows his name in 3 years.

4. Wesley Johnson, SF, Syracuse- BanG- Hard to separate him and Evan Turner. I'll take Turner by a nose though. Will be solid and will do everything. I think Wesley has more upside though, could see him blossoming into a stud.

5. DeMarcus Cousins, C, Kentucky- buST- There's a method to his buSTness. I think he will put up good numbers but will eventually evolve into such a headcase that nobody will consider him worthy.

6. Cole Aldrich, C, Kansas- bust- Can't believe he didn't drop more after this past year. Predestined to average 12 points and 8 rebounds and get facialized excessively. A bust if taken this high, but I'd consider bang'n him if he slipped to the teens.

7. Al Farouq-Aminu, SF, Wake Forest- Bust- Name's a bang, game's a bust.

8. Ekpe Udoh, PF, Baylor- BANG- Could develop into a defensive monster if he stays motivated. The tan Cole Aldrich. I think he slides to a decent team which peaks his interest, and he develops into a top 5 player from this draft.

9. Greg Monroe, PF, Georgetown- bang- Two ways to look at him. An unselfish big man with great passing skillz. Or a big man that lacks interior moves and doesn't assert himself. I'll go with somewhere in the middle.

10. Ed Davis, PF, North Carolina- BusT- Looked good alongside the conditioned THansbrough. He suffered from North Carolina cancelling their basketball season this year though.

11. Daniel Orton, C, Kentucky- BUST!- Thriving off of his high school reputation. He averaged 3 points a game last year.
12. Luke Babbitt, SF, Nevada- busT- Never heard of him so i hesitate to assign strong labels.
13. Avery Bradley, SG, Texas- bUsT- See what I did there with the UT? I don't get why anybody thinks this guy is good. I watched ten Texas games and don't remember him doing a thing.
14. Hassan Whiteside, C, Marshall- baNg- He looks fun.
15. Gordon Hayward, SF, Butler- bUst- Can ride the bench, but I think he will struggle with the upgrade in athleticism that comes with the leap.
16. Paul George, SF, Fresno State- BUsT- I dig his two first named approach, but never heard of the guy.
17. James Anderson, SG, Oklahoma State- BuSt- Not gonna be able to score like he did in college, and doesn't do enough else to make up for it.
18. Eric Bledsoe, PG, Kentucky- bANG- Seems like the underappreciated one of the Kentucky Kidz. Will be the second best of the gang.
19. Xavier Henry, SG, Unaffiliated- baNG- His non-caring attitude will go over a lot better in the NBA.
20. Damion James, SF, Texas- BANg- I'd take him Top 10. He will be a key addition to a playoff contender immediately.

Sleepers I like:
Quincy Pondexter, SF, Washington
Stanley Robinson, SF, Connecticut
Jordan Crawford, SG, Xavier
Jarvis Varnado, PF, Mississippi State
Denis Clemente, PG, Kansas State
Wayne Chism, PF, Tennessee
Devin Ebanks, SF, West Virginia

His Dirkness

2 comments:

DBZ said...

Wow. Bust Cole. Bust James Anderson. Bang Xavier. Clemente is a sleeper. You are being quite objective on this. I know how much some of those picks must have hurt you.

His Dirkness said...

Haha, I didn't even realize that when I was making it. Objectivity is a sign of royalty though. I feel most confident in those prognostications though because I saw the most of them throughout the year. It also has a lot to do with where they are projected. Six is way too high for Cole, but I think this guy has him higher than anybody else I have yet to see. 19 is pretty low for a talented ass clown like Xavier too. I found it interested how I couldn't find a listed college for him though.

Dirkness