Week 8 Powah Rankin's
1. Green Bay Packers - Hard to argue right now. Still waiting to see that adversity though. I'll be impressed if and when it comes and goes.
The Buffalo Bills 4-peaters
2. Pittsburgh Steelers - That's what happens when you give a good team playing at home no chance all week long.
3. Buffalo Bills - Extremely impressed by their resume. Even their loss to the Bengals doesn't seem so bad now.
4. New Orleans Saints - I kneaux, I kneaux. It doesn't make sense, but I refuse to believe this team is as bad as they sheauxed.
5. New York Giants - Can't believe nobody's talking about the team playing in the nation's biggest city in the NFL's premier division.
6. Baltimore Ravens - They're gonna be 'that' team. Could see them stomping Pittsburgh for a second time, and then losing to Cleveland to miss the playoffs.
The Hova - Rateds
7. New England Patriots - Can you imagine the number of Super Bowls they'd have if Bill Belichick still believed in defense?
8. San Francisco 49ers - Seven games doesn't erase seven years of memories of Alex Smith.
9. Detroit Lions - Annoying frontrunners. So full of themselves that they'll fold if they're not clicking on all cylinders. I see a lack of grit. Want things handed to them.
10. Houston Texans - Have a chance to rack up wins in a cake division in a conference without an elite team. Sounds dangerous to me. Stayed afloat with Andre Johnson out.
The Derek Fucking Foreals?
11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Haven't played up to par but there's something about this team. I think Josh Freeman wins a Super Bowl in his career.
12. Kansas City Chiefs - Actually have a worse point differential (-42) on the season than the 1-6 Arizona Cardinals (-40).
13. Cincinnati Bengals - Placed a $12.50 bet on them to win the AFC North. Pays out $1,000 for the win. No, I'm not shitting you. You can literally go on BetUS.com and make the same bet right now (this is legal right?).
The Old n' Borings
14. New York Jets - CAN'T WAIT till somebody shuts Rex Ryan up for good.
15. Atlanta Falcons - There's nobody I root harder against for no apparent reason than Matt Ryan.
16. San Diego Chargers - No team receives more unjust due than the Chargers. Everybody just face it - they aren't good.
The NFC Queefs
17. Dallas Cowboys - Can't figure out how they're not good. They should be good right? Yea, they will be good. Lets go ahead and put them in the playoffs.
18. Philadelphia Eagles - Remind me of the 2004 Kansas City Chiefs. Horrible start, capable of blowing teams out, but never really had "it."
19. Washington Redskins - Won't forgive them for benching my boy, G-Rex.
The Please Don't Make Me Watch Em's
20. Chicago Bears - They're doing the smart thing by not paying Matt Forte. Because...
21. Tennessee Titans - You might never see an NFL team pay a running back again after this Chris Johnson (CJ2.8) display.
The Must See TV Team of Whom I Haven't Even Seen Yet
22. Carolina Panthers - CAAAAMMMMMM!!! Still hasn't received the necessary credit for single-handedly dominating College Football last year. Thank you pointless NCAA allegations!
Good and Evil
23. Oakland Raiders - Carson Palmer is going to flop HARD. Remember when he sucked for the last five years? Yea, me too.
24. Denver Broncos - Who'll be the first person to personalize a Tebow '666' jersey? Hey now. You stay classy, Dirkness.
The Mighty Fiesties
25. Jacksonville Jaguars - Good defense. How bout that?
26. Minnesota Vikings - Christian Ponder eh? Whatever...
27. Miami Dolphins - I literally believe there are five worse teams than the 0-7 Dolphins.
Six to Threes
28. Cleveland Browns - No team's record will be more inflated with unimpressive wins than Nick Wright's Cleveland Browns.
29. Seattle Seahawks - Where 67,000 > 53.
30. St. Louis Rams - What would you give up for Sam Bradford? A first rounder? Could be the funnest NFL discussion of the offseason.
31. Arizona Cardinals - Hey Larry Fitz, are you enjoy the Kevin Kolb era?
32. Indianapolis Colts - I'll hate them as much as I can hate a team if they get Andrew Luck. I wonder if they're still pumping in fake crowd noise when they're trying to lose?